Hell: The Musical
by It'sAllGooeyAndSticky
Summary: Angsty Kenny finds himself dying often, and hating it. He finds comfort in Damien. Short drabbles, where Kenny and Damien both sing their own versions to songs we all know and love. Along the way, the boys all start to love music too, and find themselves singing their own songs. Contains slash, and cracked pairing. Also contains fluff.
1. Mama Said (The Shirelles)

**Author's long note:**

I liked my drabbles that I did with Bunny. I feel like I didn't finish them. But I've been obsessed with cracked pairing, Damien/Kenny, and I thought, why don't I make more pointless drabbles. This is pointless. But there is lots of emotions. Fluff, slash, angst, and much more. This fic isn't for you, it's for me. A true MC. If you don't like Damien/Kenny don't read on. Oh, and I don't own any of the songs, or characters or brand names mentioned in this fic. I also don't know how long it will be, so there. Lately I get a lot of favorites, and a lot of followers on here, but no one reviews. So I don't know why you liked it. So if you want review. With that, here's a bunch of Damien/Kenny drabbles. I'm calling this story, Hell: the Musical**. Kenny is OOC, in some, because he's too sad about dying, but I am not doing very well, and I am taking it out on my writing. So deal with it.**

**Hell: the Musical**

**Damien Said**

Damien was sitting by the lake, and watching the fire and molten lava swish around in the lake. He sighed as he laid back in the lawn chair that he had conjured. He didn't know why, but being here, in hell, looking at this lake, he felt peaceful, and happy. He could use an ice cream. But Hellions didn't eat. They were dead, so eating was just never done. So, he sighed. He got up, and went to the chamber where he slept. He opened the door, and looked around. The candle on his bed side table was lit, and the blue flame was making a neat bright light. He walked in, and closed the door. He saw that his bed wasn't empty. He looked down, and saw a body lying in his bed. He sighed. He knew of only one person who was brave enough to lay in the demon's bed. Damien turned into a wolf, and pounced. He grabbed Kenny's limp body in his paws, and growled. Kenny opened his eyes, and looked at the wolf. He sighed.

"Not now, Damien." He muttered as he lay in the wolf's grip. "I'm wallowing." He informed.

Damien turned back into the red eyed pale Demon that he was. He looked down at Kenny, and sighed. "What happened?" he asked as he stared at Kenny with a concerned look on his face.

"I got shot." Kenny said bitterly. "It wouldn't be a big deal, but I can't live a normal life if this keeps going. I do things with people, and I die, and they don't remember what I did with them when I come back." He said bitterly.

"Were you on a date?" Damien asked as he put Kenny down and stood up.

"I was bonding with my mom." Kenny said as he wiped a tear from his eye. "I mean, she'll remember when I come back, but we hardly ever get bonding time." Kenny muttered.

"I think I got high off death." Damien said grinning. "I've been feeling so happy today, Kenny, and you just can't dent my bubble." Damien said as he started snapping his fingers. He started levitating off the ground. "So, just buck up, and come hang out with me. I'm sure we can have some fun." He said as he floated off to the computer on his desk.

Kenny came over to the desk, and went to YouTube. He typed something in when Damien wasn't looking. Damien was busy lighting another blue candle. He heard a song starting up. He sighed.

"My dad listens to this shit. It's for old people." He said as he came and stood next to Kenny.

"Not the way I do it." Kenny said as the song intro finished.

"Damien said there'll be days like this. There'll be days like this, the Demon said. (Demon said, demon said.) Damien said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, the demon said. I was walking the other day…, and…, everything was going fine." Damien and Kenny started swaying to the beat. "And then I got hit by a stupid car…, and then, oh my God I died. Damien said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, Damien said. Damien said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, the Demon said. My soul ended up here, and Damien came to me! He tried to comfort me! And everything is good, and I don't worry, cuz! Damien said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, the Demon said. Damien said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, the Demon said. And then he said, someday, you'll never leave. Grim will come and take you! One day! Then you might find, you won't want to leave anyway! So I don't worry, cuz! Damien said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, the Demon said. Damien said there'll be days like this, there'll be days like this, the Demon said." Kenny and Damien started singing the last bit of the song together as they bobbed their heads.

"I don't know if it was your intention, D, but I do feel better." Kenny said as he sat down on the Demon's bed.

"I don't care. As long as this doesn't get back to earth, or my dad, I'll be okay. And as long as you're not all angsty about dying, I'll be fine." Damien said as he walked to the door. "Let's go get ice cream." He offered.


	2. Bubblegoose (Wyclef Jean)

**Bubblegoose: With a Twist**

Damien and Kenny were walking into the familiar house. Cartman was having the boys over for Karaoke night. Kenny couldn't resist inviting Damien, because he was a really good dancer, and he could sing if he wanted to. Kyle, Cartman and Stan didn't remember Damien at first, but when the boys were told of Cartman's birthday party, they remembered. No one bothered to mention that Kenny died that day, too, But oh well.

Damien and Kenny sat down and watched the boys make fools of themselves by singing a bunch of horrifyingly fluffy songs. When they tried to invite Kenny and Damien, Damien shrugged and said no. Kenny said yes.

"Which song you wanna sing, Kenny?" Stan asked grinning.

"I want to sing something no one remembers anymore, since our dear friend and mentor, Chef, passed away. Remember the time when…,"

Kenny proceeded to relive the concert they had held to get Chef out of jail. He reminded them of Wyclef Jean, and how he had been at the benefit, and sang for Chef, including the boys in it. Kyle got an irritated glare on his face.

"I remember. Cartman kept telling himself that it was Mac Ten." Kyle growled. "He fucked up the song so bad." He said bitterly. "If I ever see Wyclef again, I'll probably die of embarrassment."

Damien and Kenny walked over to the make shift stage that they had all made. All of them crowded in, and got as close as they could to the mic. Leanne came in, and watched from the kitchen, as her son, and his friends started up the song. They had all agreed that Damien would get the main part, and the boys would get the chorus lines.

"We salute the soldiers around the world." Damien said sadly. "Hell yeah!" Cartman interrupted. As the boys sang the intro, Kyle tried to tell Cartman that this was still not Mac Ten. Cartman didn't believe him.

Damien started singing suddenly. "Sit right back, and you'll hear a tale, of a hustler round my way! Who used to claw, around the block, from where my gramma stayed! Black BMW with ribs tonight, ("You're fuckin' up the song!" Cartman interrupted.) Windows bullet proof! One night he jumped, out the car, and got a bullet in his bubblegoose!"

The boys all started singing. Kenny was actually singing without his hood this time. "He caught a bullet in his bubblegoose! He caught a bullet in his bubblegoose! You could be, at a party getting loose, and catch a bullet in your bubblegoose!" As Cartman's mom watched, they repeated the chorus again. Then, the Demon launched into the next verse.

"Sit right back, and you'll hear a tale, of a young girl round my way! Who used to dance around the way, from where my home boy stayed! Black BMW with rims to match, windows bullet proof! One night she jumped, out the car, and caught a bullet in her bubblegoose!"

The boys all broke into the chorus again. Cartman still claiming that this was Mac Ten. When the song was finished, Damien was sweating. Kyle and Stan pulled away gasping for breath.

"I still say we go way too high on that last part." Kyle said bitterly. "Way too damn high."


	3. Tipsy (T-Pain)

**Author's Note: **Some serious slash, and drugs. If against it, skip this drabble. It is illegally fluffy.

**Tipsy: Weed and Wine**

Damien saw Kenny appear in his bed again. He was sitting in his desk chair, reading a comic book. He sighed as he looked over at the seventeen year old.

"Why do you always pick my room to wake up in?" Damien moaned as he stared at Kenny. "I mean, can't you go to heaven or something?" he asked.

"I don't choose." Kenny said as he looked over at Damien. "Sorry, Damien." He said as he stretched. "What time is it here, anyway? The screaming has stopped."

"It's night time." Damien grumbled. "It's eleven fifteen." He said bitterly.

"Come on, Damien. You want me to leave?" Kenny asked as he pouted. "I didn't mean to wake up in your bed." He said as he patted the black comforter. "I'll go talk to Simon, and ask him if he and God can make it so I wake up somewhere new." He said as he stood up.

"Shut up, and stay there." Damien muttered. "I just hate that you wake up here without warning. What if I was sleeping, and having a dream, or what if I was having sex or something?" Damien asked bitterly.

"Damien I know for a fact that you don't have sex. You want people to think that you're a bad ass. You want people to think you've got no emotions." Kenny said as he stood up and stared at Damien. "Just forget it. I'll never wake up in your room without warning again if I can help it."

Kenny pushed past Damien and walked off. Damien felt a strange feeling in his gut. He sighed. "I fucked up." He muttered as he got off his chair.

It was twelve thirty, and Hell was dark. He found Kenny sitting on a log in a charred forest. He looked at Kenny, but Kenny didn't move. Damien moved a little closer.

"Kenny?" he said softly.

"I don't want to talk to anyone. Just let me sleep." Kenny said as he sat in the brown parched tree.

"Kenny, you can't sleep there. And if you're going to sleep, at least come and sleep in my room." Damien said bitterly.

"Leave me alone." Kenny said as he stood up. "I just want to be left alone." He said bitterly.

Damien shook a bag in Kenny's face. "I have some of the best Chron you'll ever have with anyone." Damien said as he continued to shake the bag in Kenny's face.

"Where did you get that?" Kenny asked bitterly.

"I got it from Token Black's dresser." Damien said smiling. "I doubled it, so I got half an ounce, and he got his original half."

"I don't want to smoke with you, Damien." Kenny said as he stared at the ground.

Damien didn't like smoking weed either. He hated how it made him feel. It made him fall apart. He hated it. He was more of a cigarette person. Cloves, on a good day. But he hated weed. He knew, however, that Kenny did like weed. He wanted to make it up to the boy. He hadn't meant to treat him so rudely.

"Kenny, I really would love it if you smoked a couple bowls with me." he said softly. "I'm really bored, and would like someone to hang out with." He added quickly.

Kenny knew that was as close to an apology that he would get from Damien. So, he got up, and walked to the boy's sleeping chamber. He was surprised to find two bottles of Jack Daniels sitting on the Demon's desk. Weed and wine? Kenny was amused.

Kenny and Damien sat down on Damien's bed. Damien pointed a finger at the door to his room, and it closed. He smiled. He took his pipe, and loaded it. He lit the pipe, and took a huge hit. He held it in, as he handed it to Kenny. They sat in silence drinking the wine, and smoking the weed for fifteen minutes. Damien put on some music. It wasn't anything special. They sat there for quite a long time not saying a word to each other. Damien scooted closer to Kenny without being aware of it. Soon, he didn't know how it had happened, but he ended up sitting right beside Kenny. There thighs touched. He saw that it was one thirty in the morning. He sighed. The next song came on. It was a T-Pain song, and Damien let it play. Normally, he would've turned it off, but he didn't care this time. He pointed at the stereo, and the volume turned up a little.

"I have my own words to this song." Kenny said softly as he took another hit of the weed. They were on their seventh bowl.

"All right, McCormick." Damien said as he started the song over. "This is the instrumental version. Show me what you've got." Damien said as he took the wine and took a huge swig.

Kenny smiled as he started singing. "Take a sip o' this…, hit that. Don't it feel good, Damien. Take a hit o' this, drink that. Don't it feel good, Damien. Take a hit o' this, sip that, I'ma show you it feels good, Damien. Take a sip o' this, hit that." He wrapped an arm around Damien's shoulders, as he started singing in his ear softly. "Hey bro. How you doin'? Can I get a moment of your time and spit a line or two? Hey bro! I know that you ain't feelin' me, I promise if you take a sip o' this, you gon' be so in love with me. You givin' me…, a reason to come back into Hell. And I'm feelin' like…, you feelin' like, treatin' me well. And I'm here to try and do you right. Boy, let me get close to you. Cuz I be cool with you, man you know what it do. And I…, see it in your eyes, Damien. And I…, know I caught you by surprise, Damien! Oh yeah! This what yuh do! Let me get close to you. Cuz I be cool with you, man you know what it do. Damien, I ain't tryna getcha drunk, I'm just tryna getcha tipsy…, enough. And I know that you, wouldn't be, who you be, unless you is…, tipsy…, enough. In order for me to have you show your emotions to me, I need you…, tipsy…,enough. I know that you wouldn't show you're in love with me, unless you're tipsy… enough!"

Instead of singing the chorus, Kenny took the pipe away from Damien, took a hit, and pressed their lips together, as he blew the smoke into the Demon's lungs. They both pulled away, as Kenny started to sing the second verse.

"Hey bro. Tell me what's crackin? I see you watchin, wonderin' if I'ma come to hell with you. Say bro. I need for you to listen to me closely, bro, me and you got a chemistry, so let's just keep it movin'. You givin' me…, a reason not to leave in a huff. And I'm feelin' like, after this me and you gon' make love. So I'm here to change your prospective, Damien. Boy, let me get close to you. Cuz I be cool with you, man , you know what it do. And I…, see it in your eyes, Damien. And I…, know I caught you by surprise, Damien! Oh yeah! This what you do! Let me get close to you. Cuz I be cool to you, man you know what it do. Damien, I ain't tryna getcha drunk, I'm just tryna getcha tipsy…, enough. Cuz I know that you wouldn't be who you be unless you be…, tipsy…, enough. In order for you, to come show your emotions to me, I need you…, tipsy…, enough. And I know that you wouldn't be the freak that you are, unless you…, tipsy…, enough."

Kenny and Damien let T-Pain sing the rest of the song as they lay down, forgetting all about the wine and weed, and started kissing. Damien was enjoying this so much. He didn't mind if the song played all night. But soon, after the love they made, the weed over took them, and they both fell asleep. Damien was heartbroken to wake up and find that he was alone in his bed again, and Kenny was gone. He wondered if it was a dream, but he knew by the smell of weed, wine and lust in the room that it was no dream.


	4. Sounds Bad (T-Pain)

**Sounds Bad (The Next Death of My Life)**

Kenny was sitting in Damien's room. He had tear stains on his face, but he was calming down a little. Damien had asked him to tell him why he died this time. It was fourth of July, and someone had decided to throw a flaming firework. It caught him on fire, and he died in the hospital. His burns were too severe. Damien sighed. He felt sorry for Kenny, but he couldn't figure out a solution, to either make him stop dying, or give him his final death. For some reason, Satan and God really loved smiting Kenny.

Kenny was at Damien's computer, and he sighed. He was looking through Damien's music library, but Damien didn't have T-Pain in there. He went to YouTube, and found the instrumental that he was looking for. He sighed. The sound of the live band was soothing as he cleared his throat.

"I wanna dedicate this to my struggling soul. Keep pushin' on, keep pushin' on. Yeah. Just died again. I'm in hell. Got nothin' to do. Got nothin' to do. So just roll me a blunt. With drink. So I can complain to you. Yeah. Now I know that it sounds like I'm livin' on the edge. Damien you ain't heard the worst. Now every time I die, my friends say see you later. No good food in my frigerator. And I'm missin' work. Don't that sound bad!" he sang out as tears fell from his eyes. "Horrible! No inspiration! No goal! I know it sounds like, I wanna die! And I know I'm so miserable, but this just so happens to be the next death of my life." He wiped his eyes as he started singing the second verse. This time, with a lot more happiness in his tone. "Now all that I'm doin' is just…, hurtin' on the inside. But I won't let you see. No, I won't let you see. That's why every little penny, and every little dollar. Goes to puttin' an outfit on me. Cuz I'ma stay fresh, to death. Dress to impress the rest. You know I'ma do it, when I do it, I'ma show you how to do it, so you can do it like nobody else. When I die, all my friends still say see you later. No good food in my frigerator. Man, this life's a curse." He got tears running down his face again as he sang. "Don't that sound bad. Horrible. No inspiration. No goal. I know it sounds like, I haven't died. And I know I'm so miserable, but this just so happens to be the next death of my life. Got a little Petr one. Big cup o' ice. Sip, sip sip, smoke, smoke smoke. So let me roll another smoke. And I'ma letchoo think about you. And in the end, you gotta let me do what I doooooooooo! Don't that sound bad! Horrible! No inspiration. No goal! I know it sounds like, I wanna die! And I know I'm so miserable, but this just so happens to be the next death of my life!" Kenny sang the chorus two more times. The song finally ended, but Damien and Kenny let the instrumental play, and they just clapped along. Damien had to show the boy a good time in Hell. Even if it killed him. But he knew one thing. He was not making love to him again.


	5. Studio Love (T-Pain)

**Author's note: **This is hella slashy again. Don't like, don't read. Skip on to the next drabble.

**Hellion Love**

Kenny and Damien were sitting in front of Damien's computer. Damien was typing up some sort of document he had to write for his dad. He was helping Simon on a mission, and Kenny didn't want to know. When he was done, Damien and he went to Damien's bed, and started smoking again.

"How did you die this time?" Damien asked curious.

"I actually got into a car accident. I totaled my Volkes." He said smiling. "But I'll have a brand new one tomorrow, when I go back."

"Kenny, were you drunk?" Damien asked sadly. "It's not even afternoon yet." Damien said as he stared at Kenny confused.

"No, Damien Thorn, I was sober." Kenny said as he slapped Damien across the face gently.

"I'm just making sure." Damien said as he took another hit. They didn't have wine this time. It wasn't necessary. Kenny took a hit, and kissed Damien furiously as he blew it into the boy's mouth. He got up when Damien and he parted.

He seemed to be having a lot of fun making up lyrics to his songs. So, he went to YouTube again, and pulled up another instrumental. Damien gasped.

"What are you doing?" he asked softly.

"I'm flirting with you." Kenny said bluntly.

The song started up with its slow beat, and gentle guitar notes. Kenny started up, too.

"Hellion! Hellion! Hellion! Hellion. Yeah. With a Hellion. With a Hellion, hell eee un. Oh, oh. Hellion." He crept closer to Damien as the beat started. It had a lot of base, and Damien felt soothed by it, along with Kenny taking him up into a slow dance. "Damien! Hey, just close your eyes! And picture me playin' you like a guitar. Damien, where we're goin', I can't possibly make a bad note. If I could I would…, stroke your body like I do my keyboards. Are you ready? Ready to do something you never did before. I'll make love to my…, Hellion. Hellion. Hellion. I'll make love to my…, Hellion. Hellion. Hellion."

At this point, Kenny started rapping, and totally took a mesmerized Damien by surprise. "You see, Damien. Now I'm the type o' brother that be up here waiting for you faithfully. You ain't trippin', you'll wait for me. I tell you when I get a break, I'ma break you…, off so courageously. I've got them bangin' drums. You got them Alesha Keys. Damien let's make a beat. Damien, you make me weak, like every time the track break. Let's make this Hellish room boom like an eight o eight. And if you let me take you to a vocal booth, I can guarantee I'ma make a song all about you. And you know I got the swag, and money in the bank, it's amazin' how I think, but I do so. Every time I gotta bounce, you know that the next time I come around I be with you, in your studio. I'm just tryna flirt with you, Damien. Video, or audio. Damien, I'm so smooth, I go everywhere that water goes." The boys were slow dancing really close now, and Damien was losing himself in Kenny's eyes, and words. "Oooooo. So bad, so mean. Let me wrap your ass up, like a hot sixteen. And I promise you our love is gonna start this here flow. I just hooked a Hellion. Damn I love my Hellion. Hellion, Hellion, Hellion. I'll make love to my…, Hellion. Hellion. Hellion. I'll make love to a… Do you mind? If I pluck up on your strings for one minute? Do you mind? If I do some serious things for one minute? Hey! If I could I would! Would stroke your body like I do my keyboards! Are you ready? Ready to do something ain't never done before? I'll make love to my! Hellion! Hellion! Hellion! I'll make love to my…, Hellion. Hellion. Hellion. I'll make love to my Hellion! Hellion! Hellion!"

Kenny kissed Damien gently as he lay him down. They forgot about the song and music all together as they began once again, this time more sober than last time, to make love.


	6. You Got Me (T-Pain)

**You Got Me**

Kenny woke up in Hell two weeks later. He searched all over the room for Damien, But he couldn't find him. He sighed. He would have to try searching somewhere else. He got off the Demon's bed, and walked out of his room. He needed to go find Damien. He couldn't spend too much time alone in Hell before he became extremely emotional and horrifying. Damien always wanted to act like a tough guy, so he made Kenny hide his own emotions. Kenny liked that. But he also felt comfortable falling apart with the young prince.

Kenny walked all over hell, but he couldn't find the boy. He sighed. He didn't know what to do, so he went back to Damien's room. He sat down at Damien's computer chair, and found a song to amuse himself with. He hoped Damien would be back soon.

"The first thing I noticed, when I walked into Hell, was him watchin' me. Then I started walkin' towards him, when I lost him in the crowd, where could he be. He's got me in the middle of this Hell whole, just searchin' for him, whoa. I'm steady lookin for you Damien. I ask myself was he created in this world, by the beauty in him, oh. And I can't believe that he got me…, you got me so…, you got me so…, you got me so high and confused, I don't know what to do. Oh. So…, you got me so…, you got me so high and confused, I don't know what to do. Now you got me all up in Hell, like I aint got nothin' better to do then look for you. Yeah. Cuz I'll be here all night searchin', do what I gotta do, 'til I find you. You got me…, you got me in the middle of this Hell whole. Just searchin' for you, whoa. I said I'm searchin' for you…, you got me sweatin' got me weak in the knees, and I'm workin' for you, oh. So hard. Because I'm sooooooo! So, you got me so…, you got me so high and confused, I don't know what to do. So…, you got me so…, Damien you got me! So high and confused, I don't know what to do. Now I'm lookin' in the back, now I'm lookin' in the front, now I'm lookin' in the middle, like…, where are you. I coulda sworn that he walked right past me. Kenny sippin' on Jack, contact from the blunt, and I'm lookin' at Demons, where are you! I coulda sworn that you looked right at me. I'm looking for you! Damien you got me! I'm lookin' for you! And I'm tryna find you, Damien! I ask myself were you created in this world, by the beauty in you, oh. The beauty's got me goin' crazy! Come on and find me! I'm lookin' for you! Damien where can you be! Where can you be! You got me so…, you got me so high and confused. I don't know what to do! Yeah! So high! Don't know if I can go on through this death without you."

It was no use. He waited, and entertained himself on Damien's computer for the longest time. And soon, it was time to go. He soon was fading away, and disappearing back to earth. He hoped he would see the demon spawn soon. He found it strange that he hadn't seen him. He had even made a fool of himself, for Damien to burst in and laugh. But no such thing had happened. Oh well.


	7. My Place (T-Pain)

**My Plate**

Kenny was sitting in his house waiting for his life to go by. He hadn't died in a month, and he didn't know whether to be happy, or not. Now people were actually remembering what they did with him. He sighed as he sat there, looking at the clock. Karen had gone to spend the night with Flora, and Kevin was working the night shift. Karol, and Stu had both gone to watch the game at Jimbo's place. Kenny was alone in the house. He heard a knock at the door. He sighed as he got up.

"It better be important!" he shouted as he walked to his door. "I was sleeping!" he lied.

Kenny peaked through the peep hole, and stared. He saw an unfamiliar shadow. He opened the door, and a tall black haired girl stood there, looking straight at him. She had on a nice orange jacket, that looked familiar, and a black sweat shirt underneath. She had coal black eyes, and she had a bright smile on her face. She looked at Kenny, and pushed past him. Kenny just drooled. She had a really nice slim figure, and her chest was amazing. Kenny didn't know what size those twins were, but he really wanted to squeeze them. He turned around, and closed the door. He looked down, and saw that she was wearing a pair of Nike shoes. He smiled again.

"I don't know you, and I don't remember inviting you in." he said bitterly. "Are you even from town?" he asked.

"No." she said. She sounded like…, what did she sound like? Her voice was high pitched and pixyish, and sounded too small for her body. He pictured a deeper voice. He smiled.

"Do I know you?" he asked.

She smiled at him, showing pearly white teeth. She plunged her hand into her cleavage, and pulled out a silver necklace with an upside down cross on it. Kenny let out a piercing scream.

"Damien, get out of that body!" he shouted. "Why are…, who are…, who did you possess?" he asked.

"Does this form not please you?" Damien asked in that girl's voice. "This is not me possessing someone. I morphed into this." He said as he sat down at Ken's kitchen table.

"Damn!" Kenny said as his mouth watered. "Damn…! Damn!" he couldn't stop staring.

"Got food?" she asked.

"Uh, no." Kenny said as he looked around. "What should I call this form of yours?" he asked.

"Deana." She said as she flipped her hair back over her shoulders.

"Well, feed us, Deana." Kenny said as he sat there across from the girl. He smiled.

Damien/Deana, pointed her finger at the dining room table, and food appeared at once. There were two red robin sized burgers, and a huge plate of fries in the middle. Kenny smiled, as he peered into her eyes.

"Marry me!" he said as he looked at all the food. "I'll have a hot meal every day when I get home from work!" he said as the girl made pop appear next to the fries. "What kind of fry sauce do you have?" he asked.

"Ask, and I shall give it to you." The girl said smiling.

Soon, they were both eating. It took them an hour and a half to eat through all the food. Kenny smiled.

"I'm inspired." Kenny said as he drank his soda. "Let's go."

He stood up, and pulled the girl with him to his room. Deana groaned. "You're not going to try and fuck me, are you?" she asked, still with that pixie girl voice.

"I'm too full." Kenny said as he closed the door to the room.

"Kay, well, cuz I am not too attractive to myself right now." Deana muttered as she laid down on the bed.

"I am going to be a singer when I make it out of here." Kenny proclaimed as a song started up.

"Oh, you're going to sing a slow song?" Deana asked giggling.

"How many times have I told you I'm hungry, don't seem to change a thing. Things are still the same. There was a time when you would always feed me, and treat me like, the son you knew I want to be. The mom who really wanted me. You never tried to starve me, mom. And do me all this wrong. Mom what's going on? I try to talk and you walk away. Take away my food, take away my plate. That's just it, mom. You just don't know how, much I'm starving now, that you took all of my chow. It'll be another day. Be another way, to get you to fill up my plate. That's just it, mom. You just don't know how…, much I miss you now, that you stopped feeding me…, ow. It'll be another day. Be another way, to get you to fill up my plate. How many times have we sat at the table, and both ate at one time. With our plates piled high. I'm thinkin' all that food you cooked was a fable. A fairy tale to me…, that's just how it seems. And I know. Even though I know that you were eating and were able…, to do any god damned thing that kept me stable. I try to talk and you walk away. Right out of my face, and don't fill up my plate. That's just it, mom. You just don't know how, much I need you now, that you haven't fed me, wow. That's just it, mom. It'll be another day. Be another way, to get you to fill up my plate. You just don't know how! Much I miss that chow, that you used to feed me, now. It's gon' be another day. Gon' be another way, to get you to fill up my…, plate. Oh. That's just it mom. Oh, you just don't know how! Proud I am right now, that someone took your place. It'll be another day, be another way, to get you to fill up my plate. That's just it, mom! Oh, you just don't know how! Much I love it now, that someone else has got your place! It'll be another day! Be another way! To get you right back here, today!" he sighed as he laid down on the bed.

"You really don't get fed that often?" Deana asked sadly.

"Nope. But I learn to handle it." He said smiling. "Oh, thanks for the food." He said as he patted his belly.


	8. Break Even (The Script)

**Break Even**

Damien was sitting in his desk chair. He was looking at the bright computer screen. He sighed. He didn't know why he was even trying. He would never make a good ruler of Hell. He was already loving someone. Love was so not for Hell. Love was for Heaven. He heard a loud slam, and screaming. The voices were familiar.

"I didn't mean to land on you!" he heard Kenny yell. "I'll pay you in blood if you want!" Kenny came running into the Demon's room, and slammed his door shut. "Quick, hide me!" Kenny whispered. "I died, and landed on Ed Gein. He is pissed at me! Really bad!"

"Oh, leave it alone." Damien muttered as he turned around to face Kenny. He reached into one of his desk drawers, and pulled out a giant Hershey's bar. It had thirty-two squares. He sighed.

"Whoa! How the hell do you make such giant chocolate appear?" he asked softly. "I've never seen this big bar anywhere." He said as he patted the bar's foil wrap.

"I am Damien Thorn. Son of Simon Magus." Damien said as he grabbed the bar. "Let's split it." He said as he tried to gently unwrap the chocolate.

He looked up, and saw Kenny punching in things on his computer. He looked to see what it was. "Oh, Kenny, we're about to eat chocolate. Are you really going to sing, right now?" Damien moaned.

"Yes. I was struck with inspiration." Kenny said as he clicked enter on an instrumental.

"No T-Pain today?" Damien asked confused.

"Naw. He's old news." Kenny said. He cleared his throat.

"I barely died, and I want some Hershey's. You said we should share, and that really hurts me. Cuz sharin' with you is never easy. Cuz when a bar breaks, no it don't break even. Your best times were some of my worst. Finally have the guts to try and put me first. I don't wanna share with you or Stephen. Cuz when a bar breaks, no it don't break even. Even. Oh! What am I gonna do, when most of that candy bar goes to you, and! What am I gonna say, when I'm all hungry, and you're okay. I want some more candy! I want some more candy! They say good things happen for a reason. When they made the bar, yo, it all was even. So cut it up, before I'm leavin'. But please just make sure that the bar breaks even. Even. Oh, oh! What am I gonna do, when most of the candy bar goes to you and! What am I supposed to say, when you stuff your mouth, and look so gay. I want some more candy! Yeah. I want some more Candy! I want some more candy! I want some more candy! Oh! You've got Snickers, and Hershey's and smarty's all day. You eat the candy, I starve away. Now I'm tryna make sense of why the hell I stay! Oh! Cuz you leave me with no food, with no food to my name! I'm still alive, but I'm hardly eatin'. Just begging to a Demon I don't believe in. Cuz most the chocolate's already eaten. Cuz when a bar breaks, no it don't break, no it don't break even, no!"

"I will give you three fourths of this candy bar if you stop singing that God awful song!" Damien yelled through the sound of Kenny taking it to the bridge. "Please! I will share the candy, in a seventy thirty split!" he shouted as Kenny stopped the song.

"You didn't let me finish." Kenny said bitterly.

"Kenny, my ears can only take so much." Damien said as he pretended to throw up. "But at least I know how you feel about sharing with me." he growled.


	9. YourGuardianAngel(RedJumpsuitApparatus)

**Guardian Demon**

After Damien and Kenny had spent a day in Hell eating Candy, Damien was left feeling really sad, and heartbroken. He went to his dad to try and talk to him.

"Hello, son." Said Satan as he stood towering over Damien. "How are you doing on such a hideous day?" he asked.

"Lovin' the screams, old man." Damien mumbled as he looked down.

"What's the matter, fella?" Simon asked softly.

"Well, I wondered if you hate me?" Damien asked, as he finally looked up at his father. "Do you want to ruin my life? Or do you simply want me to be like you?" Damien asked.

"What are you talking about, Damien?" Simon asked as he started to get angry. "Why are you here, accusing me of such things?" he asked.

"I want to know if you think making me gay is funny." Damien said as he stared his father down.

"I didn't make you gay! When you were born, my brother and I showed you how to make yourself whatever sex you wanted." Simon explained. "We don't really have gender/sex, down here. Did you know? So if you're in love with Kenny—"

"Hey! I never mentioned Kenny!" Damien shouted as he stared dumbfounded at his father. "I never even mentioned anyone!" he shouted.

"Keep your thoughts inside your head, then, son. Because I can read your mind. It's loud as anything." Simon said as he turned around. "Go play. I have to go tend to the arrivals at the Gates." He said as he walked off. "We'll eat dinner together, if you want." He added as an afterthought.

Damien shook his head as he left. He went back to his room. He got on his computer again, and sighed. He felt, "Inspired.", as Kenny said every time he was about to sing. So, he found the first instrumental he saw, and clicked on it. He started to get lost in the singing. But then, he stopped. He turned the computer off, and grabbed a guitar from the closet. He started playing every chord to the song, and started singing.

"When I see you die. Tears fall down my face. I fall, from grace. And now it's your curse I must figure out. As my world keeps turning, and heart keeps yearning. I know I'll find, deep inside me, I can be the one. I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be here for you through it all. Even if one day you end up in Heaven. I'll be okay. Be okay. Be okay, yay, yay, yay. Seasons are changing, and life's rearranging, and Hell is falling down for us. Deaths grow longer, and bonds grow stronger. I can show you I'll be the one. I will never let you fall. I'll be there with you forever. I'll stay strong with you through it all. Even if some day you end up in heaven. Cuz you're my…, you're my! My true lust, my whole heart. Please don't throw this away! Cuz I'm there…, for you!" He started screaming his lungs out while still keeping the beat of the song, and the notes to the melody. His powers created several copies of himself, and he heard drums playing along with him as he laid his heart out on the guitar for all to see. "Please don't walk away, and, please tell me you'll stay! Whoa! Whoa! Stay…, Stay! Stay! Use me as you will! Pull my strings just for a thrill! And I'll be here as you ask, though my heart is made of glass! I will never let you fall! I'll take care of you forever! I will never let you fall. Even if one day you end up in heaven!"

Damien and his clones played out the rest of the song in silence. The drums blending with the electric guitar, and the acoustic to make a perfect rhythm. He was almost sad it was over. Almost.

When the boys finished playing the song, Damien waved away all the instruments, and cleared away all his clones. He sighed. He felt better. He hoped no one had seen that little display of emotion. He would literally explode.


	10. Pictures of You (The Last Goodnight)

**Pictures of You**

Damien felt a hand land on his shoulder. He looked up from his place on the log, and saw Kenny staring down at him. He gasped. It had been three weeks since his last death. He sighed.

"Oh, hey." He said as he set Kenny's hood on fire.

"Hi." Kenny said bitterly.

"What happened to you?" Damien asked as he extinguished the blond's hood.

"Well, I died." Kenny said bitterly.

"Kenny, man, I have a bone to pick with you." Damien said bitterly as he stood up. "You are always dying. You have a friend in Hell, you are adored and worshipped in Heaven, and you have a problem with dying!" Damien said as he grabbed Kenny by the shoulder. "Dude, what is with that self-pity crap?" he asked.

"Damien, I was looking through a bunch of photographs." Kenny said bitterly. "I was looking at things I remember doing. But you know, a lot of those pictures, didn't have me in them. Even though I was there. I hate it. I'm not in the pictures! It's Stan, Kyle, Butters, and sometimes even Cartman. I hate it." Kenny said as he walked off.

"Let's go up to my room, and we'll fix it with some weed." Damien said as he went to his room.

Kenny and Damien started to smoke a bowl. Kenny didn't know what made him do it, but he started singing softly. This time he didn't even need an instrumental.

"This is the clock up on the wall. This is the story of it all. This is the first thing that I think about, before I start to fall. This is the war that's never won. I am the soldier with no gun! This is my mother waiting by the phone, prayin' for her son. Pictures of you. Pictures of me, all up on the wall, for the world to see. Pictures of you! Pictures of me! Remind me of what you can't seem to see. Pictures of you! There is a death that cures it all. Blocked off by God, cuz he just stalls. I am the scientist inside the lab, waiting for his calls. This earth quake weather, has got me shaking, inside. I'm ready to die. Pictures of you! Pictures of me! All up on the walls, for us all to see. Pictures of you. Pictures of me. Remind me of what you can't seem to see! If you could see…, every secret broken! Every stolen promise I believed. If you could see…, all the lies between us…, all the lies between you, and me. I am the boxer in the ring. I am the bell that never sings. There is a title I can't win, no matter how hard I may swing."

Kenny couldn't bring himself to sing the rest of the song. He sighed as he laid his head on Damien's shoulder, and cried softly. He didn't know why it bothered him so much, but it did. He hated dying.

"I wish I didn't just have to see you in Hell." Kenny said softly.

"I'll have to bring Deana to visit you more often, then." Damien said smiling softly as he let the boy lay there undisturbed.


	11. Love Song (Sara Bareilles)

**My Number**

Kenny was sitting in his room. It had been two weeks since he had died last. He was pretty happy. He smiled to himself, as he remembered hanging out in the park with Bebe yesterday. When he ran into her today in the morning, he asked her if she had a fun time yesterday, and she said yes. It made Kenny smile.

Right now, he was in his room. Alone. Karen was in the kitchen, making herself food. He had asked her if she wanted him to make her food, but she said no. She came walking in with a plate of Oreos, and a couple sandwiches. She smiled.

"I brought you food, Kenny!" she said as she stared at the boy on the bed.

"Oh, thanks." Kenny said as they both sat on the bed to eat the food.

"Why are you here, on a Friday night?" she asked grinning. "Everyone else had things to do. Don't tell me you're here to stay with me, because I leave for Ruby's house in about fifteen minutes." Karen added grinning.

"I don't really want to go anywhere." Kenny said smiling at her as he ate his food. "I'm peaceful right here where I am."

She left for Ruby Tucker's house a little later. Kenny heard conversation out there, and the door opened again. It wasn't Karen that came in. It was a very familiar very sexy Deana. Kenny felt his face flush.

"Hey, Kenny." She said as she walked in and closed the door.

"Dude, do you have to talk like that?" he asked as he wiped sweat off his face.

"Yes! It's my voice!" she said bitterly.

"I don't like it. It's really attractive, and I don't want to be attracted to you." He explained.

"Kenny, you're attracted to anyone that moves, is human and has a pulse. Kevin told me about what you two did two months ago—"

"SHUT UP!" Kenny shouted as he clapped a hand over Deana's mouth. "I do not want to talk to you about anything that goes on here on earth. I am really angry at that bastard. He said he would keep it between us." He muttered as he looked down at the ground.

"It's not incest if you can't have babies." Deana said grinning.

"Let's not mention this again." Kenny said bitterly.

"What do you want to do today?" Deana asked smiling.

"Nothing. Just watch TV." Kenny muttered as he laid himself down on the couch. He was glad Deana wasn't wearing lip stick. He would've found those full lips irresistible.

"I want you to sing to me." Deana said smiling.

"No." Kenny sighed. "I don't have any inspiration." He muttered.

Dana waved her hand, and a piano appeared in the center of Kenny's living room. She smiled as she started playing. Kenny sighed. He had been struck with inspiration. Fucking dammit!

"Feel too much pressure. And they told me, to breathe easy for a while. Breathing gets harder, even I know that. You're stocking me, it's not hard to see. I'm not happy with your plans. I'm unusually, sick of this problem. You show up, at my house! And ask if you can hang out. No easy way to say this, I hate you. I'm not gonna give you my number! Cuz you asked for it, cuz you're pretty. Hell no. I'm not gonna give you my number. Cuz you begged me to, and you made a face you thought I would cave. I'm not gonna give it, away. If you keep up your stocking, then just give me better reasons to give you, my number , today. I learned the hard way, that my stocker, won't leave me alone. My angry heart, sinks deep down under. You and your, pleading looks! Your stocking hurts! You are not what I thought you were! Hell no. To hell with you. Convince me, to date you! Make me think, that I wanted you! I'm tryin', to let you know in a nice way! I don't wanna give you my number! Cuz you're desperate. Cuz you need it. Hell no I'm not gonna give you my number, cuz you're begging, and you say that it's for our friendship! Which I threw away. I don't really want you, that way! If you keep up your stocking, then just give me better reasons to give you…, my number…, today. Promise me. That you won't keep stocking. Just let me be. Let bygones be bygones. Cuz I believe, if you don't, leave me alone, I'm gonna cry. I won't give you my number. Cuz you asked for it. Cuz you need it, okay. I'm not gonna give you my number. If you asked me to, in a nice way. Because all you want is my number! And if I give in, it'll get worse! You see. I simply can't give you my number. Because if I do, you'll just stock me more, and I won't get away . I'm not gonna give it, to you! If my heart is nowhere in it, I don't want you putting me in it, girl I'd cross the seven seas if it means I don't have to give you my number. So please go, away!"

Deana finished playing the piano. Kenny grinned. Deana was wiping sweat off her forehead. She turned in the piano chair to look at Kenny. She waved away the piano, and it disappeared. "Did a girl really stock you for a long time asking for your number?" she asked.

"Oh my gosh, yes." Kenny said bitterly. "It was this chick who dropped out of Park High. She's from East Park County. Oh, dude, she would be at my house almost all day every day. She would be at Starks pond when I would go there, she would be everywhere." Kenny said bitterly. "I tried to get her to go away, but oh my gosh. Telling her no in several different ways is hopeless."

They both laughed. Kenny was glad he didn't have to endure that anymore. The girl had forgotten about him, and moved onto someone else.


	12. Stay (Rihannah)

**Stay: Duet**

Kenny hadn't died in a while. Deana came over to Stan's house, when it was game night for the boys. Stan opened the door, and gasped.

"Cartman!" he shouted. "It's your replacement." He said bitterly. "Get your shit, and go." He teased.

"Ay! Shut your Goth mouth, you pussy!" Cartman shouted as he threw the mic down, and headed over to where Stan was, holding open the door.

"Who are you looking for, slut?" Cartman asked.

"Shut the hell up!" Stan said elbowing him out of the way. "He's just a little rude. How can I help you?" Stan asked smiling at her.

"It's Damien." Deana said softly as she showed Stan the cross. "Can I hang out with you guys?" she asked.

"Holy shit, dude!" Stan shouted as he let the girl in. "Is this what pleases Kenny?" he asked grinning.

"No!" Kenny shouted as Deana came in. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I came to embarrass you." She said grinning.

"Good." Kyle said smiling. "It's Kenny's turn to sing, and we want to see someone other than ourselves make fools of themselves." He said as he pushed Kenny into Deana's arms.

Deana and Kenny stood there, crowded into the mic. Cartman was taking snap shots, with his phone. Kenny flipped off his camera, and Cartman gave him a grin. Deana picked a song.

"Hey!" Kenny shouted. "I don't have inspiration right now!" he shouted as he heard the piano start up.

"It's okay. You'll get it sooner or later." Deana said as she flipped her long hair back.

"All along there was a blondie. A cold sweat, hot headed, cursed blondie. He threw his hands in the air, and said show me something. I said, if you dare, come a little closer. Round and around, and around, and around he goes. Oh, now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know. Not really sure how to feel about it. Something in the way he moves, makes me feel like I can't do without him, and I'm sure he knows he's gay. I know that you're gay!"

Everyone was laughing hysterically. Damien relinquished the mic to Kenny, and Kenny, with a red face, took up the next verse.

"It's not much of a life I'm living. It's not just something I took, it was given. Round and around and around and around I go. Oh, now tell me now tell me now tell me now I know. Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move. Makes me feel like I can't do without you, and I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. I think I'm not gay!"

Both of the teens started singing. Damien had to read Kenny's mind, in order for them to sing this part, together, word for word. "Oooooooo! The reason I hold on. Oooooooo! Cuz I need this curse gone. Funny you're the Hellion, and not the only one who needed saving. Cuz when you never feel the fight, it's hard to know which one the curse is failing. Not really sure how to feel about it. Something in the way you move. Makes me feel like I can't live without you, and it makes me think I'll stay. I want you to stay! Stay! I want you to stay."

The boys all had tears in their eyes as they watched Kenny and his new friend standing there, singing. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. They didn't even comment on how that song made no sense, what so ever. It was nice to see some display of emotion for once, other than the usual funny displays that took up time in Stan's life. He smiled as the couple drew to the end of the song. He loved the sound of Kenny's alto blending with Deana's's pixie soprano. They made a perfect blend as they held the sad notes of the melody at the end verse. Cartman got up when it was over, flipped Deana off, and walked off to the bathroom. There was a loud sob, and a nose blowing sound.

"Way to go, Kenny." Kyle said as he too wiped tears from his eyes. "You made us cry."


	13. Sitting At a Bar (Rehab)

**Sitting At A Bar: In Hell**

Kenny was sitting with Stan and Kyle at Starks Pond. He was having a good time. He really like today, because there was some sun out. He really loved when there was sun. It made everything happy.

"Kenny!" Stan and Kyle shouted as he felt a ripping pain in his chest. He gasped. Someone had shot off a gun, and the stray bullet hit him. Hit him in a very dangerous part of his chest. He was dead fifteen seconds later. He sighed. He was sure he was going to be okay that day. Oh well. He didn't know what to feel.

"Welcome back. It's been a while." Damien was a wolf again. Kenny smiled at him. "Are you sad about your death again?" Damien asked.

"I'm out of here." Kenny said not wanting to talk about it. He got up, and walked to a bar that he knew only too well. Damien right behind him.

"Why is it, when I'm with you, you drag me into karaoke!?" Kenny asked bitterly.

"I don't know." Damien said grinning. "Same reason why South Park had so many adventures when you guys were nine." Damien explained softly. "Someone is controlling us." He said as he sat down beside Kenny.

"I'm not feeling good." Kenny said bitterly. "Please don't make me do anything stupid." He muttered.

Damien had a guitar in his hands, and was his old teenage self again, as he conjured some wine for them both. Kenny sighed, as Damien started playing.

"Bar tender, I died again, but this time…, it happened during a real good time. Cuz I was just sitting at the pond, and someone came and shot at this blond. They were hunting for some kill. I think they were high on some pills. If they just knew, who they killed today, then maybe they wouldn't act so gay. And in my angry stupor, I did what I shoulda never done. Now I'm sitting here, talkin' to you. Feeling really dumb! I'm holding all my rage on the inside, sitting at a bar on the outside. It ticks me off, every time I die. And it makes me want to break down and cry. Someday maybe I won't go back again." He was so amazed at how the words just came to him. He was also amazed at Damien's guitar playing. "You know though, I'll probably go back soon. So just give me beer 'til it's time to. Yeah, I know the sun is coming up, and y'all are probably getting ready for closin' up. But I'm tryna drown my soul. I'm tired of this life with no end, though. Everyone that I love is dumb. And I'm tired of hangin' on. They've got me holdin' in my rage on the inside. Sitting at a bar on the outside. I'm so ticked off, just because I died. And it makes me want to break down and cry. Someday maybe I won't go back…, Guess it was meant to be. Cuz life is misery, so much for memories, It's like I'm always headed to the penitentiary! I'm going crazy, my mind's half gone, I am a danger. Guess that I should've did something about my anger. But I never learn. And no one is concerned, I'm poring lighter fluid on everything I love and watch it burn. But it's not my fault. And I'm so unhappy with the curse. God threw a fit, so I'll make the best of it, holler! And I'll be going back again. Back down to earth to see my friends. When they see me in their little clique, they'll ask me where I've been. I've been holding rage in the inside. Sitting at a bar on the outside. You all forget, every time I die. And it always makes me just want to cry. So fuck you all to hell, and just let me be."

It was actually not that bad. Kenny was smiling at Damien, and thanking him. He complimented the prince on his guitar skills.

"Hey Kenny…, you're fading." Damien said as he leaned over and kissed the fading cheek.

Soon, Kenny was waking up in his room. He sighed. He hoped he would be better off today.


	14. In God's Hands (Nelly Furtado)

**In God's Hands**

Dana and Kenny were sitting in Ken's car after having gone through the drive through of a KFC. She refused to be called Deana anymore. Now, it was Dana. But she still looked really good. She still had long shoulder length hair, and coal black eyes, and big breasts. She still had a curvaceous slender figure. She was pretty. She still had that pixie voice that made Kenny's breath catch in his throat every time he heard it. He drove them out of the Denver KFC and started driving back to South Park. "Why did you have us drive all the way over here to get it?" Kenny asked looking over to the passenger seat. "You could've just waved your hand and snapped your fingers, and it would come to you." He said as he stared at the road ahead.

"I wanted out of your stuffy house." Dana said smiling.

"Go home." Kenny said bitterly.

"Oh, Kenny, come on. You know you love me." she said smiling.

"Why do you have to be like that, can't you just stay in your regular Damien form?" Kenny asked bitterly.

"If I do, people'll be suspicious." Dana said smiling. "Besides, I think you like this form." She said simply.

"Just shut up." Kenny moaned.

But no. She couldn't just stay shutted up. She put on an instrumental that she had downloaded into Kenny's IPod. Kenny moaned.

"I have no inspiration." Kenny said bitterly.

"You do. You just need to embrace it." Dana said smiling.

"I, looked at your face, and saw that you, wanted to scream. I saw that we, had forgotten, to secure the food. It, was a hot day. So we didn't feel, like we had to. Close the windows, but then again, who would've known, that this would happen. We forgot about speed. We forgot about wind. All the napkins flew out. And you wanted to shout. Our food's going out of the window! Our chicken dinner is no more! Our food's floating up to the sky, to heaven. Where it began. As part of God's plan. You, said that you had, done all that you, had to do. You said, Kenny…, I have secured the food. We double checked. But it wasn't enough. Now I'm so tired. That I wanna give up. As our food's floating out of the window! Our chicken dinner is no more. Our food's floating out to the street, to fall, on someone else. That's part of God's plan. It's all his plans. We didn't respect it, we went and neglected it. We didn't deserve it. And we never expected it. Our napkins flew out of the window, our food floated out, to our horror. Our food floated up to the sky, to heaven, where it began. As part of God's plan. Back in God's hands. Back in God's hands. Oh, I should've looked! At the food that we took! Cuz we didn't understand, just what we had. Oh, I want it back! Just what we had!"

The smell of food surrounded them as they kept on driving. Damien smiled. "I knew you'd get your inspiration." He said softly. Ken looked back to his right, and saw that the prince of Darkness had turned back into himself. Was that relief on Kenny's face?


	15. All Good Things (Nelly Furtado)

**All Good food: Comes To An End**

He was quite happy when they walked into the empty house. He sighed. He put the bags of food down on the table, and started getting out paper plates. He smiled. He was going to have such a good feast.

Dana was happy, too. She helped Kenny set out the food, and soon, they were eating. They had strawberry soda to drink. One of Kenny's first times that he spent with Dana. He had never tried strawberry soda. He smiled. It tasted really good.

They sat there eating for the longest time. Dana didn't really need to eat. But she enjoyed doing earthly things with Kenny. Because it brought Kenny happiness. She loved to see the boy happy, even if it meant she had to do pointless things like eating or breathing. Or being down on earth, for that matter.

Satan had started asking questions about what was going on with those two. But Dana didn't want to say. She didn't know herself, to tell the truth. At times, when she was sane enough, Kenny was just another person. But sometimes, when weed or drinking were involved, Dana wanted to give Kenny everything, and just keep him safe from harm. But oh well. It was just a feeling. Whatever. Dana would figure it out later. She was sure of it.

They both finished the food, and got rid of the evidence. Who were they kidding. KFC fumes were wafting from the kitchen and permeating the whole living room. Oh well. Kenny's parents were hanging out with the Tuckers. So they would get fed good food as well. Dana and Kenny both walked up to his room. Kenny let out a burp and moaned. He always loved when Dana was here, because she fed him. And damn, did she feed him good.

"You're going to make me sing twice in one day?" Kenny asked as he heard Dana start playing a guitar. "I don't have nearly the brain power or the imagination fuel to make up another song." He said bitterly.

"Oh, yes you do." Dana said smiling her beautiful smile at him. "Come on, Kenny. Have fun with me." she said smiling.

"Honestly, I really like to eat. I eat all kinds of meat! It's way too clear to see that, really, life is dandy. We spend our time in here, just eating what comes handy. Flames to plate, plate to mouth. Why does all good food come to an end. You sometimes even get some on your pants. Why does all good food come to an…, traveling, I only stop for food. Wondering if I'll lay…, down after I'm full, or if I'll just go away. I don't see, how people can just say that , life is such an empty thing…, They have money to spend on food, and make life grand. Flames to plate, plate to mouth. Why does all good food come to an end. Flames to plate, and even some on your pants. Why does all good food come to an end. When you come here, bringing me some good food, I just stare up at you. Hoping you'll leave it with me, so I can eat it! Then I won't be starving. Then I won't be hoping, someone else will come and feed me. Bring me, food so I can stay here, wondering if maybe, you love me enough to make me , pie is something that I've always wanted and I've never tried because I'm so damn poor I could just die! Flames to plate, plate to mouth. Why does all good food come to an end. Flames to plate and some on your pants. Why does all good food come to an end. Well the things I'm asking you to bring me, are just things I need, we both know that I'm desperate, Damien. I just want to get out of here. Want to try some new beer, food is the essence of life here. I love when we bond and I sing to you, but it's better, if you end up singing with me, I won't push you into anything that you don't want to. But it would be hot if you make love to me!"

"That was so good." Dana said smiling. "I knew you could do it if you put your heart in it."

"One day it'll pay off." Kenny said bitterly. "Maybe I'll be the next Weird Al." he muttered as he closed his eyes. "Don't bother me anymore. I'm really full. Of food." He said as he lay there, happily.


	16. Give In To Me (Michael Jackson)

**Give It To Me**

Kenny had been stabbed by a gang member. He was with Cartman in Denver, and they had been at a club drinking. Someone got too drunk, and started challenging people to a fight. He was shouting all kinds of insults at people, and when he got to Cartman, Cartman couldn't just let the dude leave and not say anything. So instead of letting the fat ass get stabbed to death, Kenny took the knife for him. He woke up looking up at Damien, who was a cat sitting on his chest. Kenny buried his hands in the fur, and sighed.

"Aw! What a cute black kitty!" Kenny whispered as he lay there petting it.

The cat just stared up at Kenny and wrapped his tail around Kenny's wrist. Kenny smiled as he stroked the kitty gently.

"Okay, enough cuteness." In a flash, the cat tail unwrapped from Kenny's wrist, and Damien Thorn was standing up in front of Kenny. He glared at Kenny, and started for his desk.

"I hate knife wounds." Kenny said as he lay there. "I can't move for a while, there's simply too much pain." He said as he closed his eyes.

"Your abdomen?" Damien asked.

"Yep." Kenny answered.

"Wanna listen to some Michael Jackson?" Damien asked.

"I don't care." Kenny moaned.

They sat for two hours listening to the King of Pop, and smoking weed. Kenny was starting to feel a little better. The pain was leaving his stomach, anyway.

"I have inspiration." Kenny said as he lay there watching Damien blow smoke out his nose.

"What?" Damien asked softly.

"Give into me." Kenny said as Damien searched for an instrumental of the song.

"Oh, Oh, Oh! Can I pretend to be slash?" Damien asked jumping up and down slightly on the balls of his feet.

"If you promise not to act like that ever again." Kenny begged.

"He always takes all of my toys at home! Some even say he has a heart of stone! But I can't help but being nice to him! Because my mommy tells me! She says bad boys go to hell. He hurts my feelings! Every time he's over! He's like a fire! Spreading through my bedroom! Takes my stuff! Breaks my belongings. Give it to me! He always knew just how to make me cry! And sometimes I just have to ask him why! He wants to come over to my fucked house. Is it for all my toys, dude? Is it cuz I have cool stuff? There is a feeling! This boy causes! He is a monster! Smashing my toy boxes! I really hate him! Someone tame him. Give it to me! Give it to me! You and your friends were laughing at me in town! Cuz I'm so poor! So poor! But listen, one day I will not be around! To play with you! Cuz I'll…, be somewhere, where I'm…, not hurt by you, oh!"

Damien jumped smoothly into his guitar solo. Kenny saw sparks flying from the amp. Damien had turned the amp up really loud, as he played. Kenny was amazed at how good the guy was.

"They tried to tell me. That this boy was really bad. Give me my yo yo! Give me all my soldiers! I want pay back! For when you just come over! And start breaking stuff! That you think is okay to do! Give it to me! Give it to me! Give it to me! Oh! Love is a feelin'! You ain't got none! Get the hell away! I want someone! Who can play nicer! Just get outta here! Give it to me!"

Kenny watched mesmerized as Damien played the guitar. He was doing all these high notes and chords that really amazed Kenny. When the song ended, Damien set his instrument on fire, and jumped across his desk, and broke the desk chair. He started to break dance, and Kenny couldn't help but scream and cheer his friend on.

"Don't encourage him." Said a deep voice as Satan walked in the room. "This is how he gets himself into trouble."

"Aw come on, dad. Not in front of Kenny." Damien said as he blushed.

"Are you going out with my son?" Simon asked looking deep into Kenny's eyes.

"No." Kenny said as he looked back. "I don't like commitment. I'm a player, for real." Kenny said as he flashed Satan a wink.

Damien disappeared. He felt nauseous, so he hid. He didn't want to see his father, or Kenny right now. Or possibly ever.


	17. You Really Got a Hold On me

**You've Really Got a Hold On Me**

Kenny didn't die again for three weeks. But when he did, he ended up in a very lonely hell. He looked everywhere for Damien, but couldn't find him. He sure as hell wasn't going to bother Satan and ask him where his son was.

He died again two days later, and still, didn't see Damien at all. Nor did the Dana version come to his house. He was beginning to worry. He didn't know what to do. He had to find a way to see Damien, and get him to tell Kenny what was going on. He just had to. He walked off to Starks Pond. It had frozen over. He knew, though, that he had terrible luck. So, he walked gingerly onto the ice. Just as he took his sixth step, the block of ice he stood on cracked. He screamed as he fell into the freezing water. He screamed even louder as he went under, and the ice shifted and closed the hole that let in precious light. He was going to drown.

He heard screaming, and the water turned into hot tub water. He was still drowning, but he was hot. He gasped. He felt someone grabbing his jacket by the hood. He felt himself being yanked out of the pond. He opened his eyes, and coughed out a stream of water. Dana. He was gasping for breath as he stood in front of Dana.

"What the hell were you doing?!" Her pixie voice was loud and echoed off the trees and water. "Kenny, are you out of your mind?" she asked. "Have you lost your mind, Kenny McCormick?"

"Yes." Kenny said as he tried to gather himself. "I had to! You won't talk to me! I hate it when you don't talk to me!" Kenny shouted as he stared at Dana. "You look—"

"Shut up!" she shouted. Her face was red, and she looked angry. "I don't want to hear it! Let me dry you off, and you can go home!" she shouted as she grabbed Kenny and evaporated the water off the boy's clothes.

"Don't you want to hang out?" Kenny asked softly.

"No!" she shouted as she set him down on the ground. "You are the biggest most selfish shit head, Kenny! I don't want to talk to you ever again!" she shouted. She was crying now, as she stared him deep in his eyes. "I hate you! I hope you never die, ever again!" she shouted through her tears. "And I hope when you do, you end up in heaven, and far away from me!" she shouted. She brought her hand back, and slapped him hard across the face. He felt the swelling start. He felt something warm running down is face, but knew it was only bleeding from the inside. He gasped.

"Dana—"

"Fuck…, you!" she shouted. She was gone in a flash of light.

"Holy shit, dude!" Stan said from behind Kenny.

Kenny didn't know what to do. He felt like the biggest dumb ass. He had no idea what he had done to piss Damien off so violently. He really didn't know.

"Stan," Kenny said softly. "If you tell anyone what you just saw, I will rip off your dick with my hands, and make you eat it." He said bitterly.

"Oh, don't worry." Stan said as he helped Kenny back to the main road. "I won't tell anyone. You're already in enough trouble. Why would I want to give you more."

Kenny didn't know what to do. He got strange looks all day when people saw the huge bruise on the left side of his face. No one knew what had happened, so he had to tell them that he got hit by a very angry chick. It was true. He had. But he hated what happened afterword's. They all mostly laughed.

Kenny went to Wendy's house a little after six in the evening. She was the only girl in South Park he hadn't slept with. Stan was her boyfriend, and he was the only boy Kenny hadn't slept with. They were the only faithful couple in South Park out of the kids. He sighed as he knocked. The door opened. Wendy gasped as she saw Kenny.

"Wow." She said smiling. "I didn't know it was that bad." She said smiling. "Come in." she said as she motioned him in.

"You look like you expected me." Kenny muttered.

"Well, if you didn't come find me soon, I was going to go after you." Wendy said softly. "Sit down. Let's talk."

"Wait, Wendy. I don't want to hear it right now. I know all about how you think I should give up my sex habits, but I have bigger problems right now." He explained. "I didn't come to get lectured by you."

"I know. You have huge problems. You have Dana problems." She said softly.

"Whoa!" Kenny gasped as he looked at her for the first time. He had been staring at the ground since he came in. "How do you know?" he asked.

"She came to talk to me." Wendy said softly. "She told me that I remembered her, I just didn't notice her in school, because we're not part of the same group of girls. Anyway, she told me everything."

"She won't talk to me. I don't even know what I did wrong." Kenny said bitterly.

"You men are so dumb sometimes." She muttered. "Kenny, remember what you told her dad when he asked if you two were going out?" she asked.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Kenny asked confused.

"Kenny, really?" Wendy asked bitterly. "Are you serious? Do you want me to spell it out for you? Damien loves you!" she shouted.

"Dana? She loves me?" Kenny asked.

"No, Kenny McCormick! Damien Thorn is in love with you!" she said bitterly.

"I told him I liked him a while ago, and he said that he couldn't love anyone. He said that Hell is a place where lust comes along. Not love." Kenny said bitterly.

"Oh Kenny. Just because he said that, doesn't mean it's true. He is in love with you, and he got hurt by what you said. He came to me, as Dana, and he was in tears. I have never seen a girl cry so much. She said she wanted nothing more than to have a way to remove emotions." She said bitterly. "Kenny, she was so upset. Honestly, you deserved to get your ass kicked." Wendy said bitterly.

"I mean, I've never thought about settling down." Kenny said softly.

"Well, think about it. She really loves you."

"She said she wasn't going to talk to me again." Kenny said softly.

"I bet if you make up for it with something romantic, she'll talk to you again." She said softly.

"Thanks." Kenny said softly. "You're not being possessed by Damien at this moment, are you?" Kenny asked grinning.

"No." Wendy said softly. "You should go try and talk to her." She said bitterly.

Kenny waited for three weeks. He didn't see Damien. He didn't die. He was really upset. He wanted Damien to listen to him. But it looked like that wasn't going to be happening any time soon. He sighed.

"Just let me talk to you, god dammit!" he shouted one day as he sat at Stark's Pond. He was near tears himself.

"I know I shouldn't be here, because you don't deserve this." Said the familiar voice. "But sure. I'll hear you out."

Dana was standing in front of Kenny, staring down at him with those coal black eyes. She was wearing high heels, and she was still wearing that orange jacket, and that black sweat shirt underneath. She was red eyed, and had dark shadows under her eyes. Kenny really wanted to just hold the girl and comfort her. But he held back.

"Talk, Kenny." She said bitterly.

"I am so sorry I hurt you." Kenny said softly as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She was just a head taller than him. "I really want to make it up to you, Dana." He said softly. "Don't push me away, please. I really didn't mean to hurt you." He said softly.

"I can't even begin to explain how much you hurt me, Kenny." She said softly. "I really wish you could be in my place." She said softly.

"Me too, Dana. But I can't. And you know what, I got my ass kicked by a girl, so I feel like, I should be sympathized with a little." He said as he sat her down on the log that so many couples had sat on before him. He sighed as he leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Please, don't cry anymore." He said softly. "I want you to smile for me." he whispered.

"Sing me a song." Dana said softly.

"I don't like you…, but I love you. Seems that I'm always…, thinking of you. Oh! You treat me badly. I love you madly. You've really got a hold on me. Oh. You've really got a hold on me! Yeah. I love you, and all I want you to do is just, hold me! Hold me! Hold me, yeah. I don't want you, but I need yuh. Don't…, wanna kiss you! But I need you! Oh, oh, you do me wrong now! My love is strong now! You really got a hold on me! Come on! You really, got a hold on me, yeah! I love you, and all I want you to do is just…, hold me! Hold me! Hold me, hey!"

Kenny saw someone in the shadows. It was a clone of Damien in his Demon form. He was holding an electric guitar, and playing as Kenny sang. Kenny was so surprised, that he nearly stopped singing. But he kept on.

"Ah, I wanna leave you! Don't want to stay here! Don't wanna spend…, another day here! Oh, I wanna split now! Cuz I can't quit now! You really got a hold on me! You really got a hold on me! You really got a hold on me! You really got a hold on me!"

Kenny watched the Damien clone play the last bit of the song, and melt away into the mist. Kenny turned his head to a crying Dana. He lifted her chin, and wiped her eyes. He gently kissed her full lips.

"I really love you." He whispered. "I really do. I am so sorry I hurt you." He said softly. "Please, my Dana, forgive me." he said sadly.

"I guess." Dana said with a pout.

"Truth or dare, Kenny McCormick? Dana asked softly.

"Dare." Kenny said huskily into her ear.

"Make love to me."

Kenny grabbed his prize, and went straight home. Luckily, or maybe not so much, the house was empty. He was able to enjoy, Dana sober, and make love to her, just like she wanted.


	18. Slap (Ludacris)

**Slap**

Kenny couldn't sleep. He felt really ecstatic. He was lying in bed, staring at his ceiling, trying to sleep. It had been four weeks since his last death. A whole month. It had been a fort night since he had sang to, and made love to, Dana. He had actually enjoyed it. He smiled. He hadn't seen the Demon, girl or boy, in ages. He wondered what was going on? He wondered what was happening with him. He sighed. He got up. He couldn't take just lying there. He went down to the kitchen, and cleaned it. He cleaned the living room. He hoped he wasn't making too much noise. It was three in the morning, and he hated insomnia. He sighed.

Soon, it was time for him to go to work. He sighed. Things were going to be great. He was on cloud nine…, plus. He was a happy Kenny. He was out the door and headed to his job before he knew it.

Work was never a bad place. Working at the mini mart was actually nice. He was really doing a good job. But for some reason, everyone hated him today. All the customers were rude, and mean. He was having a bad day with his boss. He really hated how he was being treated. He still had to go to school in the afternoon. At least he would see his friends.

Spoke too soon. He was at school, and there too, everyone was rude. Did everyone wake up on the wrong side of their cage? He sighed as he finished last period. He was finally going home. He was going to be okay.

Spoke too soon. He was on his way home, and he got hit by a truck. They took him to the hospital, but he died in the ambulance. What a day. At least he was going to hell. He would be peaceful there. He opened his eyes, and spotted Damien sitting right beside him. He smiled.

"It's been a while." He said as he yanked the comforter out from under Kenny, sending the blond flying. Kenny landed in a heap on the bean bag chair.

"I can't believe you, fuckin' jerk." Kenny muttered softly. "I get crap on earth, and I get all this from you." He muttered.

"Oh, boo hoo." Damien said as he showed Kenny a fake tear. "Just get over yourself." He said as he picked up the blond by the jacket. He tossed Kenny on the bed.

"I would tell you, that I had the day from hell. But, a day in Hell is hardly bad for me." he said bitterly.

"Can I get some therapy?" Kenny asked.

"Do you have inspiration?" asked Damien as he put Kenny down on his computer chair.

"I do indeed." Kenny said as he pulled up Damien's library. He actually had the song Kenny was looking for. He smiled as it started playing.

"I know it's strange, but my world's gone really insane. And I'm off the chain, sippin' on a fifth o' the golden grain. I'm feeling like, slappin' somebody today. Slappin' somebody today. This mornin', they woke up on the wrong side o' the bed. And then they started tryna mess with my head. It got worse when I went to work, I hate my nine to five. I'm thinking 'bout, killin' my boss today. It's just a thought, though. And then to top it off I died. Somebody drivin' took my life. I see my daddy lookin' at the sky, have you ever seen a grown man cry? And he's askin' why did you take him away. I wanna go to sleep. Since I'm human though, I gotta eat. Down on Earth, I got some mouths to feed, my family's in dyin' need. So, I'm thinking about, robbin' a bank today. Real talk. Graduation's around the corner. Momma's worryin' about it, fussin'. Always yappin' 'bout this and that, but she really don't be talkin' 'bout nothin'. Somebody take my pain away. I know it's strange, but my brain's just feelin' the pain. And I'm off the chain, sippin' on a fifth of the golden grain. I'm feelin' like, slappin' somebody today. Somebody done robbed my work place. Smashed up everything in the place. They even got my damn IPod. How am I supposed to survive, when I know that, my IPod was taken away. I need my music, man! Weed prices are way too high. Rich people are way too fly. I'm not where I wanna be in my life, man, why am I so behind? Is it cuz I'm wastin' my life away? I live in a place that's bad. And everybody in the hood is mad. Cuz mister Obama could give a damn about our ass. So I don't wanna hear shit that he has to say. Kids die, and we're still at war. Nobody even really knows what for. And I'm really scared to find what the world has in store, cuz you know that…, tomorrow's not promised today. I know I'm sad, but I just can't deal with the pain. I'm off the chain, sippin' on a fifth of the golden grain. I'm feelin' like, slappin' somebody today." Kenny smiled. He was happy. He turned around to Damien, and grinned. They both turned off the computer, and they both walked off.

"Ice cream time." Kenny said as he dragged the Demon off through Hell.


	19. Because I Got High (Afroman)

**Because I Just Died**

Damien was lying in a very different part of Hell. He was in the only garden Hell had. Why was it the only garden? Because the things that grew here, were of death, and darkness. And well, his father wasn't a flower man, so he hadn't made gardens. He heard a soft, Ahem. He looked over to where the sound was coming from, and saw Kenny standing there, beside him. It had only been two days since his last death, and the horrible day at his job.

"Hello, McCormick." Damien said as he looked over at him. He stood up, and his fingers erupted with flames. He turned Kenny's parka to ash. He smiled. "It's too hot for you to be wearing that." He explained.

"Well, good thing you burned it off!" Kenny said annoyed. "God forbid I actually get asked to take it off on my own." He said as he punched the Demon in the gut. Damien didn't so much as flinch.

"How are you today?" Damien asked.

"I'm feeling okay. I was smoking with Stan. I accidently dropped a lit match on myself, and my jacket caught fire." He explained. "That changes all my plans." He said sighing.

"What plans?" Damien asked grinning.

"Well, you see, Mr. Thorn…, I don't care about nothin'." Kenny said sighing as the two started walking to the seventh layer of Hell. "I was gonna clean my room, but then I just died. I was gonna get up and eat some shrooms, but then I just died. My room is still messed up, and I know why!" Damien asked why. "Because I just died. Because I just died. Because I just died. I was gonna take a test, but then I just died. I was gonna touch this lady's breasts, but then I just died. Now my date just won't remember, and I know why. Because I just died, because I just died, because I just died." Damien wolf whistled. "Next verse!" he shouted. Kenny went on. "I was gonna go to work, but then I just died. I was gonna go confront this jerk, but then I just died. My sister's goin' hungry, and I know why. Because I just died, because I just died, because I just died. I was gonna mop the floor, but then I just died. My mom was gonna love me even more, but then I just died. The kitchen's still a mess, and I know why. Because I just died, because I just died, because I just died. I wasn't gonna skip her birthday, but then I just died. I was gonna get her lots of gifts, but then I just died. She's so upset right now, and I know why. Cuz I just died. Cuz I just died. Cuz I just died. I was gonna pay my cell phone bill, but then I just died. I wasn't gonna skip out, on the bill, but then I got high. Now I don't have service, and I know why. Because I just died, because I just died, because I just died. I was gonna graduate. But then I just died. I was gonna get a big ass stake, and then I just died. Now I missed my graduation. And I know why. Because I just died, because I just died, because I just died. I messed up my entire life, because I can't die. I can't even get a wife, because I can't die. I'm single and I'm lonely, and I know why. Because I can't die, because I can't die, because I can't die. La da da da da da. I'ma stop singing this song, before we both cry. I'm singing this whole thing wrong, and we're gonna cry. If my best friend up and leaves me, I'll know why. Because I just died, and fucked up a song, and he feels so wronged."

"Well, my name is Damien Thorn, I'm from the depths of hell. And all the weed that Ken be smokin', is bomb as hell." "Excellent delivery." Kenny said as he heard the Demon sing. "I don't believe in Jesus, that's what I said!" "Oh my God." "So all of you jocks, please don't call the cops."

"We're done." Kenny said as he and Damien reached his room. "That was so awful. We need to be muted." He explained as the boys cracked up.

"It's illegal to be this bad at making spoofs." Damien said as he conjured some ice cream for the boy.


	20. All Out of Love (Air Supply)

**All Out of Dove**

Kenny hadn't died for about four days. He was on a roll. He was working regularly, and he was going to school. It was a Sunday morning, and Kenny and Damien were sitting in his room. They had been singing camp songs with Damien's acoustic guitar. Kenny was enjoying himself. Damien asked him and his mom the night before, if he could sleep over. His mom was only too glad to have him over. Karen was at Ruby's, and if Stuart killed her there would be witnesses. Damien had thanked her profusely.

Being the Demon that he was, Damien didn't need to sleep. So, he stayed over at Kenny's house, and watched the boy sleep all night. He was fascinated. Kenny needed to breathe on earth. Damien didn't. He could sit as still as a statue, and hold his breath forever. But he wouldn't die. Because he was already dead. But was Kenny truly alive? He had died so many times, could he truly be deemed alive? He had no idea how much the blond was enjoying the physical contact. Damien had wrapped Kenny up in his blankets, and was holding him in his arms. It was one of those days, there was a snow storm. Damien didn't want to have Kenny freeze to death.

There was a knock on the door. Kenny got up, and opened it. His mom smiled at him.

"Yuh need to take a shower, Kinny! We're goin' to church!" she said beaming at him.

"I can't take a shower!" Kenny said as he pretended to cry. "Air supply." He said to Damien, who started to play on his guitar.

"Why can't you take a shower, son?" his mom asked bitterly.

"I open my eyes, and look up at the skies. And my whole morning just got worse. I know I forgot, now my whole shower's shot. And my morning just fell apart." "What did yuh forget?" his mom asked. "I wish I could fly, to the grocery store. In times when I forget to go. It would make me believe, what tomorrow could bring. When today doesn't really know." "Kinny, what did you forget?" "Doesn't really know! I'm all out of dove. My bottles are empty. I know I was wrong. For waiting for so long. I'm all out of dove. And it's just so tempting. To lay here and cry, but that won't solve anything." "Oh, Kinny! There's no shampoo?" she asked bitterly. "If you would let me just, rush to the store. And get what we all really need. I'd come back real soon, and just bring the shampoo. And no one would have to miss church. What would you say, if I told you this now. And said I could still make it there. There's no easy way. I'll just hurry away. And come back with all the stuff. All the stuff. I'm all out of dove. I'm all out of shampoo. I know I was wrong, putting it off so long. I'm all out of dove. What am I without it. It makes my hair soft, and I really need it, mom! Oh, what are we gonna do. What are we gonna do? If we're all out of dove, and all out of shampoo. Is all hope just lost? Or can we be rescued? We're all out of dove. We're all out of shampoo. And it's all my fault, for waiting for so long…"

"Kinny, that's enough. I'll go get the shampoo, and bring it back quick. Just make sure you have your clothes ready for the shower when I come back. Yuh hear?" she asked.

"Sure." Kenny said as she walked away.

"Boys and their music." She muttered as she walked off.

"I am telling you." Damien said as he waved his guitar away. "The songs get worse each day."

"I should be arrested for copy right infringement." Kenny said laughing.


	21. Fallen Angel (Chris Brown)

**Fallen Angel**

Damien was sitting at his desk, organizing his comic books. He was having the time of his life. But something didn't feel right. He looked around, expecting his dad, or even Kenny, to be staring at him. He didn't see anyone. But he still felt uneasy. He got up from his chair, and walked off to the next chamber. It was a room with a pool in it. The liquid was silvery, and swirling. He plunged his right hand in it, and swirled it, as Kenny floated in his mind. He saw the silver liquid flooding up to form a window. He gazed through the window, and looked at the scene in front of him. Stuart was standing right in front of Kenny, and it looked like he was shouting. Kenny moved his lips a little, and Stu stopped him. He sighed. Kenny was shoved over to the far wall, and Damien watched as his mom came over. She started talking to Kenny, and Kenny listened. Kenny got up, and Damien watched as his father pushed him away. He swore Kenny had tears streaming in his eyes. Damien felt his body form into Dana, and he was in Kenny's room in an instant. His dad would kick his ass for playing with the gazing liquid, but oh well.

"Kenny?" Dana asked softly, as she looked at the boy.

"Oh, hey." Kenny said trying to hide his tears. "Do you ever knock?" Kenny asked.

"No. But neither do you." Dana said bitterly. "Dying all the time and ending up at my place, in my room." She muttered. "You all right?" she asked.

"I already said I was." Kenny said smiling at her.

"I don't think so. Tell me what happened." Dana said as she closed Kenny's door. "I shielded your room. No one will come bother us unless it's your mom, Kevin or Karen." Dana said softly. "Tell me what happened."

"I told you, dude." Kenny said as he started pulling his backpack to him. "I'm fine." He explained.

"Kenny, I was watching you." Dana said bluntly.

"Well, then, why the hell are you asking if I'm all right?" Kenny asked bitterly.

"I don't know the full story." Dana said softly.

"My dad is drunk, and some bastard on the street told him that we were all a bunch of mistakes. He thinks Kevin and Karen are okay. I'm the mistake." Kenny said as he stared at Dana. "He said when they had Kevin, they tried to get a daughter, but the next thing that came was me. Hey, I don't think it's bad. If they had gone to a cult, and Karen had been born the middle child, she would be the one with the curse." Kenny said bitterly. "Dana, I know that my dad is drunk. I know he loves his children when he's truly sober. But it hurts all the same." Kenny said as he glared at the floor. His face was flushed. "I just want to be alone." He muttered.

"You didn't let me be alone when I was all angry the other day." Dana said softly.

"That's because I hurt you, you fuckin'…" he sighed.

"Come here." Dana said as she sat with Kenny on the bed. She wrapped her arms around Kenny. She sighed, as she held him close. Kenny could smell her feminine scent, along with cherries. He snuggled close to her, and held her back. His head falling to rest against her chest. She started running her fingers through his hair.

"If I could…, take a trip…, to outer space…, he would be the one I would see. He would welcome me with his arms…, open wide…, and a smile…, will shine at me brighter than the sun. He hasn't had a fair chance, so I'll give him one. Let me tell you who he is…" Kenny felt all his tears falling onto Dana's blouse as he heard her sing to him. "He's a fallen angel. Sent from heaven up above. He's a fallen angel. Waiting for me to love him. He's a fallen angel. Take your judgment off him. And know that he's a fallen angel. And I should, help him mend, his broken wings. So he can fly again. But I don't, wanna lose everything that I've gained. It's turnin' me a selfish Demon! Cuz without him my heart just don't go…, no more…, no more. I gotta take the pain, of watchin' him fly away. So say that you'll stay, and be my…, be my fallen angel." Kenny listened to the words as she started rocking him back and forth. She glided over the chorus neatly. Soon she was at the next part of the song. "Kenny, don't you worry, I'm gon' help you fly. Just take me under your wing, and we can touch the sky. Kenny, don't you worry, I'm gon' help you fly. Just take me under your wing, and we can reach the sky! He's a…, he's a fallen angel! Sent from heaven up above just for me!" Ken was crying still, as Dana rocked him gently and sang. This song was perfect, because it was blending in with her pixie voice. Kenny felt Dana's eyes watching him, and her hands ran through his golden hair again as she sang the last part of the song. "Kenny," she said softly. "I love you. And everything your dad said, I take it back for him. Just like this." Dana had powers that Ken didn't even understand. And as he listened, he heard Stuart McCormick's voice sliding through his ears. But it was talking backwards. And suddenly, Dana was talking softly to him as she sang. "You don't mean nothin'…, I don't wancha…, I don't need yuh…, I never loved yuh… You're a no body…, you'll never make it…, you're a mistake. No."

This was the most emotion Kenny has ever seen Damien display. He didn't want to ruin it, so he just lay there in the Demon's arms. Dana leaned her forehead against Kenny's, and looked into his eyes. "Feel better?" she asked.

"Again." Kenny pleaded.


	22. TheGreenFieldsofFrance(DropKickMurphies)

**The Green Fields of France**

It was the last day of Junior year. Kenny was participating in a talent show. But he wasn't going to give the audience any of his usual spoofs. He wanted to share something serious with them. He enlisted the help of Dana on the piano. When it was Kenny's turn, and the stage certain flew open, the scene that met the audience made some gasp. There was a background of lush green grass, and Kenny was sitting by a fake tomb stone. He smiled, and the piano started up. Damien had made a second clone of himself, and the boy looked kind of like a Scottish version of a teenager. He was holding a set of bagpipes. The piano started up, and Kenny got ready from the spot by the grave stone. He had a mic in his hands.

"Oh how do you do, young Willie McBride?" As soon as he started, the girls all started cheering, and clapping. "Do yuh mind if I sit here down by your grave side. And rest for a while in the warm summer sun. I've been walkin' all day, and I'm nearly done. And I see by your grave stone, you were only nineteen, when you joined the great fallen, in nineteen sixteen… Well I hope you died quick, and I hope you died clean. Oh, Willie McBride, was it slow and obscene?" He heard Butters starting up on the drums, and more cheers as he kept singing. He heard the pipe start up, too. "Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the pipe lowly. Did they sound the death march, as they lowered you down?" Kenny stood up, and bent over the grave as if examining it. He dove into the next verse. "And did you leave a wife or a sweet heart behind? In some loyal heart is your memory enshrined. And though you died back in nineteen sixteen, to that loyal heart, you're forever nineteen. Or are you a stranger without even a name, forever enshrined in some old glass pane. In an old photograph, torn, tattered, and stained. And faded to yellow, in a brown leather frame. Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the pipe lowly. Did they sound the death march, as they lowered you down." As Kenny sang, the girls all cheered. You could hear people whistling from somewhere off. Butters and Damien's clone were doing a good job. And of course, Dana was amazing on the piano. "The sun's shining down on these green fields of France. The warm wind blows gently, and red poppies dance. The trenches are vanished all under the ground. No gas, no barbed wire, no guns firing down! But here in this grave yard that's still no man's land, the graves have white crosses in mute where they stand. To men's blind indifference to his fellow man, and a whole generation were butchered an damned. Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the pipe lowly. Did they sound the death march, as they lowered you down." There wasn't a dry eye in the house as Kenny sang. Everyone was actually standing. He took a bouquet of flowers and placed them on the grave to wild applause. He sang the last verse. "And I can't help but wonder, oh, Willie McBride. Do all of those lying here know why they died. Did you really believe them when they told you the cause. Did you really believe that this war would end wars. Well, the suffering, the sorrow, the glory, the shame. The killing and dying, it was all done in vain. Oh Willie McBride, it all happened again. And again, and again, and again, and again. Did they beat the drum slowly, did they play the pipe lowly. Did they sound the death march, as they lowered you down."

As the chorus ended, Dana stopped playing the piano, and gave Butters and the male Damien time to finish their duet. Everyone had their hands over their hearts as the boys finished playing. It was unbelievable. The principal came over and smiled at Kenny, as she stepped off stage after a bow.

"And now that we all feel nostalgic, and depressed," the principal said as she took the mic. "Let's all give another round of applause to Kenny McCormick, and band." She said blushing. "I want to wish you all a good luck, and a good summer. Get out of here!" she said as they all started filing out.

Damien knew exactly why Kenny had picked that song. He almost threw up.


	23. Breathe (Anna Nalick)

**Breathe**

Damien was lying on his bed. He had decided Hell was too boring for his own good, so he was going to sleep. He hated sleeping, because it just wasted more time, but he soon fell into a slumber. He heard a rustling of clothes. He opened his eyes. The fire was cooling, and so it was safe to assume it was near night time. He sighed. He sat up, and Kenny was sitting on his desk chair. He was holding a book in his arms.

"You are studying French?" Kenny asked softly.

"I am a bored Demon, Kenny. Don't pick on me." Damien said as he stretched. "How did you die this time?" he asked.

"Got shot by an arrow." Kenny said grinning. "I was in an archery class."

"Oh brother." Damien muttered as he leaned over and pulled the arrow out of Kenny's rib. He sighed.

"I can't believe you read down here. I mean, comic books are one thing, but…, French? I hated school." Kenny said bitterly.

"What was the worst thing that happened to you in school?" Damien asked as he took his French book back.

"Let me tell you Damien. In a little thing called, song."

"Oh, Kenny. You're gonna sing again?" he moaned.

"Two A.M. and I called you cuz I'm still awake. Can you help me unravel my latest mistake. I just cheated, on all of my summer class homework. As I walked through the doors to accusing blank stares, like they have any right at all to criticize. Hypocrites, they were all here for the very same reason. Cuz they cheated in class every single semester. And now that they're here, they can't even remember. No one is standing up with me right now. Cradle my head in my hands, and breathe. Just breathe." Kenny gave a huge sigh. "When the teacher walked in, I could tell she was mad. And my guess was that she somehow managed to see, I had cheated. Didn't know I was quite heated. She could tell that her boy has been down for a while, but she thought it was beautiful when her boy smiled. She adored me, she thought that I was a genius. But she found out I cheated, and it was so painful. She thought I was worthless, and dumb, and unable. To finish a couple of classes and pass. She cradled her head in her hands. And breathed. Just breathed. There's a light at each end of the tunnel, she shouts. And you're just as dumb then, and you're just as dumb now. And these mistakes you made, you'll just make them again. And I wish you could turn it around. After that I just knew that I had to come through, cuz she loved me at one point and thought I was cute. So I did it, I passed my summer school classes. And I felt I was naked in front of her eyes, cuz I showed her I passed without cheating this time. And I knew she would tell me, whatever she had to. Ken, you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable. And life's like an hour glass glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button now. Kenny, just don't cheat again. And breathe. Just breathe."

"So let me get this straight." Damien said as he looked pensively at Kenny. "You cheated during the school year, got sent to summer school, cheated again, and this teacher who caught you cheating, was a teacher you had a crush on? She got you in trouble in front of the class, you were embarrassed, and wanted to show her you could pass? So, you passed, and you think you gained her respect?" Damien asked confused.

"Yes. She was a hot teacher. She's still working there, too." Kenny said softly.

"Who?" Damien asked softly.

"Miss Meyers."

"Gross."


	24. Angel (Sarah McLachlan)

**At the Bottom of A Bottle**

The summer went by without eventful things. Kenny mostly hung out with his friends. He hung out a lot with Dana, and Damien. Sometimes in Hell, sometimes in South Park. He still had his job at the Mini mart. He liked life right now. The thing that he really hated about the school year starting up again, was that this year he was required to take the SAT's. He hated it. His mom and dad were on him the moment they found out.

When he died the next time, he ended up grumpy, at Damien's place. He felt terrible. His dad had once more picked on him.

"How did you die this time?" Damien asked bitterly.

"I got alcohol poisoning." Kenny said as he lay down next to Damien. "Why are you so angry? You're not the one dying."

"No, but I really hate angsty Ken." Damien growled.

"Hey! You're a prince of darkness! You have everything you wanted. I don't." Kenny muttered.

"Sorry." Damien said as he stood up and went to sit down at his desk.

"You should play me that angel song I like. The one I like to have played at my funeral." He muttered.

Damien turned his computer into a grand piano, and started playing. Kenny smiled. He liked Damien for the reason that Damien would do whatever Kenny asked for.

"Spend all your time waiting…, for the SAT's. And you don't end up doing okay. There's always some reason…, too feel not good enough. And it's hard at the end of the day. I need some distraction…, oh beautiful release. Alcohol seeps through my veins. I can feel empty…, oh, and weightless, and maybe. I'll be okay tonight. At the bottom of the bottle. Far away…, from what's real. In this dark lonely bar, with the shadows of all my fears. Then I'm pulled from the wreckage, of my silent riverine. It's at the bottom of this bottle. May I find…, some comfort here." Damien felt pity for the boy. He was happy that he himself wouldn't have to take the SAT's. Ever. He would never have to go through that. "So tired of my job…, and everywhere I turn. There's dishes and homework to do. But life keeps on turning…, and I keep on building the lies…, that I make up for all that I lack. It don't make no difference…, cuz life is still real bad. So it's easier to believe…, in this sweet madness…, oh this glorious madness, that drags me to my knees. And to the bottom of this bottle. Where I just…, don't care. In this dark, lonely bar room, with the shadows of my own fears. I am pulled from the wreckage. And my silent riverine. I'm at the bottom of my bottle, and I found…, some comfort there."

"So, let me get this story straight." Damien said bitterly. "Your parents picked on you, and you figured that drinking yourself to death was a good way to get rid of this pain?" he asked.

"Yes." Kenny explained. "But now, I feel better. I'll be fine during those dumb sats." He muttered.

"SAT's." Damien corrected.

"What evs."


	25. Sorry For the Stupid Things (Babyface)

**Sorry For the Stupid Things**

Dana knocked on the door of Kenny's house. She waited. The door opened, and a very flustered Mrs. McCormick came walking out of the house, and closed the door.

"Kinny's not home!" she shouted bitterly. "He's being held at the police station!" she shouted.

"What did he do?" Dana asked in her unnaturally high voice.

"He was with his friends, and they were caught with an ounce of pot in Eric's car!" she shouted as she started getting in her car.

"You can either wait here for us, or you can come with me." she muttered.

"If there's a chance you might yell at Kenny, I don't want to miss it." Dana said smiling. "I'm coming." She grinned.

They took about twenty minutes to drive to the station. They both drove in silence. It was a bitter one, because Karol was mad as hell. When they got there, Karol and Dana walked to the station. Kenny was sitting in a room with two guards watching him. When Karol showed them her ID, they handed Kenny over. Kenny looked really embarrassed.

"I'd rather stay with the nice cop, ma." Kenny said

With surprising strength, the mother pulled Kenny by the collar, and led him to her car. They all climbed in. Kenny in between Dana and Karol as they drove off. Karol didn't say anything at all the whole way there. She was really angry. When they got there, she was clear with her directions.

"Go up to your room, and don't come back until I ask you to!" she shouted. "I have had it with you, young man!" She wagged her finger at Kenny, and Kenny walked to his room.

Dana was laughing so hard. Kenny glared at her. "This isn't funny, big boobs." He said as he threw a sock at Dana's chest.

"You just got in trouble!" Dana shouted as she laughed hysterically. "When do you think you'll be able to go outside again?" she asked laughing.

"Fuck off." Kenny muttered softly.

There was a knock at his door, and it opened. Kenny was cowering. He smiled at his mother.

"I love you?" he tried.

"Not gonna work." Karol said bitterly.

"Mom," Kenny said softly. "I know how you're feeling." He said softly. "I can make you feel better." He said softly.

"Kenny, I don't think this is the time to sing." Dana said softly.

"Sometimes we wish for the better…," Kenny started. "When we already have the best. Sometimes we take that for granted. Until someone comes to arrest. See, Sometimes a fool doesn't know he's a fool. Sometimes a wrong, he don't know he was wrong. Sometimes I do stupid things to you…, when I really didn't mean it at all. Sometimes a Ken, is gon' be a Ken. It's not an excuse, it's just how it is. Sometimes a mom, she's gon' be a mom. And sometimes that kid, ain't always so strong. Sometimes the boys, they wanna be boys. And smoke a little weed, in their best friend's car. But momma you know, Oh I hope you know…, I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do, but I do. So sorry. Oh. So sorry."

"Kinny, it's not gonna work!" Karol shouted.

"Sometimes I wish, I was smarter. Wish I was a bit more like you. Not making stupid decisions made at the last minute…, I live to regret when they're through. Oh. Well, sometimes a fool doesn't know he's a fool. Sometimes a dog, he don't know he's a dog. Sometimes I do stupid things to you, when I really didn't mean it at all! At all! Sometimes a Ken, is gon' be a Ken. It's not my excuse, it's just how it is. Sometimes a mom, is gon' be a mom, and sometimes a son, just acts like a son. Sometimes a mom, is hard to the bone. She don't wanna deal with all this drama in his world. I know I don't mean, to do this to you! Oh, mom, I'm sorry for the stupid things I wish I didn't do, but I do!"

"Oh, Kinny." She said bitterly. "I love you." She stepped over to him, and hugged him. She sighed. "I guess you are just a teen." She muttered. "But all the same, young man." She said bitterly. "You're still not allowed to die for the next two weeks." She said bitterly.

"No." Kenny moaned in mock sarcasm. "Don't punish me." he said laughing.

"I love you too." She said softly as she held her son close.

"Mom, I'm really sorry I did that to you." Kenny whispered. "I will try my best to make everything so amazing, I won't get into any more trouble again." He whispered.

"I know." She muttered. "But this will only last for two hours. So, I better be careful." She muttered.


	26. Just Give Me a Reason (P nk)

**She Gave You a Reason**

Kenny sighed as he sat at Starks Pond with Stan. Stan was sitting there, tears falling onto his lap. He looked really in pain. Kenny was a little annoyed. Since the fourth grade, Stan has been smitten with Wendy. Yet, the couple seemed to always be an on again off again type of couple. Now, as it stood, they were broken up. Again.

"How the hell do I know when it's it?" Stan asked softly as he stood up, threw a rock into the pond, and sat back down.

"Why don't you decide for you." Kenny said bitterly. "I mean, what is it, Stanley, that you see in her that you can't find in any other girl?" he asked simply. "Come on, dude. Think. Do you really love her?" he asked.

"I do, Kenny! She's my whole world!" Stan moaned.

"Dude, here's what I think. She left, and you should use this opportunity to find another girl. Every time Wendy and you break up, you always just sit there, waiting for her to come back. Why don't you, for once, just date someone else, too?" Kenny asked optimistically. "Maybe you can experience some other girl, and see that there really is a lot better?"

"I wouldn't feel right." Stan muttered.

"Do you think Wendy's thinking about that as she dates the next guy?" Kenny asked bitterly. "Come on, Stan!" he said as he stood up. He started singing.

"Right from the start, she was a thief, who stole your heart. And you, her willing victim. You let her see the parts of you that weren't all that pretty. And with every touch, she fixed them. Now, you're just sitting here with me, oh oh, saying things I can't agree. Oh oh. She told you that she's had enough, of your love. Your love. She gave you a reason, just a little bit's enough. And I told you, you're not broken just bent. And you can try to love again. It's in the stars. It's been written in the scars of your heart. You're not broken just bent, and you can try to love again."

Stan stood up, and as tears rolled down his eyes, he started singing too. "I'm sorry, I don't understand, where all of this is coming from. I thought, that we were fine. My head is running wild again, I wish I still had everything. And it's all in her mind. As I'm sitting here with you, oh oh, I feel like it's not quite true. There's nothing more than empty breaks, between our love. Our love."

Kenny and Stan broke into the chorus. "She gave us a reason, just a little bit's enough. We both know that we're not broken, just bent. And we can try to love again." Kenny stopped singing as he listened to Stan. "I never stopped. It's still written in the scars of my heart. But damn, I know it's okay, cuz I can learn to love again."

Both of them started shooting dialogue at each other. "You know you'll be fine!" "But, I don't feel so fine." "You know that it's true, if you search hard enough!" "I'm so fuckin' sad." "She's holding you down!" "Well no one said that life was easy." "Stanley, please!"

They both started singing again. "She gave us a reason, just a little bit's enough. We both know that we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again. It's in the stars. It's been written in the scars of our hearts. Hey, we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again."

"You'll be fine, Stan." Kenny said softly.

"I'm sorry I came to you." Stan muttered. "You have it worse than me. But if I go to Kyle, he shows with his body language that he doesn't really want to deal with me." Stan muttered.

"It's not that he doesn't want to deal with you." Kenny explained. "It's just…, you and Wendy do this all the time. And it gets kind of…, tiring." Kenny said grinning.

"You're not annoyed at me, are you, Ken?" Stan asked softly.

"I'm annoyed we just sang that gay song." Ken said grinning. "But…, no. I am not annoyed at you." He said as he gave Stan a one armed hug.

"I wish I could tell you this wasn't gonna happen again." Stan said laughing. "But you have a knack for singing really gay songs." He said laughing.

"Let's go get ice cream." Kenny said laughing with him. "On me."


	27. Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen)

**Hallelujah**

Kenny and Damien were standing by the lake. The molten lava was swishing around in its familiar rhythm. Kenny hadn't died in a month, but suddenly, there he was. He had been struck by a javelin. It had stabbed his heart. God was cruel for smiting him today of all days. It was not really a special day, but Kenny had been having a really good day at school. So he was surprised. But not really, at the same time. If it had been God, he was apparently looking for a laugh. If it had been Satan, well, he was just mean that way. There was a possibility it could've been Damien. But the Demon swore on his friendship/love for Kenny that he had never used his powers to kill the boy.

"Kenny, if I wanted to see you, I'd go to earth and see you there." He had said when Kenny accused him.

"But what about if you wanted me to suffer?" Kenny asked bitterly.

"I would still go to earth and make you suffer there." Damien had claimed with a big grin on his face.

Kenny had been quiet for the last fifteen minutes. He and Damien walked away from the lake, and to Damien's Chamber. Kenny didn't know why, but he felt somehow very horrific. He really didn't want to be in Hell.

Damien cleared a large space in the center of his room. He watched as Kenny sat on his bed. Damien made a grand piano appear.

"I really truly don't want to sing today." Kenny said bitterly. "I feel so down right now, there's nothing that anyone can do, to make me feel better." Kenny said as he buried his face into Damien's pillow.

"Kenny, you know I never give you a choice." Damien said as he started playing.

To Ken's utter surprise, he actually wouldn't mind singing this song. He smiled as he sat up, and stared at the back of Damien's head. He was in his Demon form.

"I don't have to make up corny lyrics to it, do I?" Kenny asked softly.

"You'd butcher a serious classic if you did." Damien explained. "I would never speak to you again." He explained as he played. "Whenever you're ready, McCormick." Damien coaxed.

Kenny seriously considered singing this for the talent show at his graduation. But nah. It seemed fitting to sing it now. So, he started. He stood up, and went to stand right beside Damien, as the Demon played.

"Well, I heard there was a secret chord…, that David played, and it pleased the lord. But, you don't really care, for music…, do yuh? It goes like this: The fourth, the fifth. The minor fall, and the major lift! The baffled king composing Hallelujah." As he sang, Damien found the right places to turn the piano up, and down, matching the tones to Kenny's own voice. Which also varied in sound. Damien took the next verse.

"Well, your faith was strong. But you needed proof. You saw her bathing on the roof. Her beauty, and the moon light…, over threw yuh. She tied you to a kitchen chair…, and she broke your thrown as she cut your hair! And from your lips she drew a Hallelujah!" Kenny and Damien both sang the chorus in a nice harmony. Kenny took up the next verse.

"Damien, I've been here before. I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor. I used to die alone, before I knew yuh. I've seen your flag on the marble arch, but love is not a victory march! It's a cold and it's a broken, Hallelujah!" They both took up the chorus and sang again. This time, a trickle of tears ran down Kenny's face. Kenny listened as Damien took up the next verse.

"There was a time you let me know, what's really going on below. But now, you never show that to me, do yuh." Kenny and Damien both took up the next part. "But remember when I moved in you…, and the Holy Dove were moving to! And every breath we drew was Hallelujah!" Kenny and Damien sang as both of them tried to keep their tears from flowing. Damien took up the next verse. Kenny saw the sincerity in his eyes as he sang.

"Well, maybe there's a God above. But all I've ever learned from love…, is how to shoot somebody…, who outdrew yuh. It's not a cry that you hear at night…, it's not a Demon who's seen the light! It's a cold, broken and lonely Hallelujah!" Kenny saw the briefest expression of terrifying sorrow from the boy, but only for a tiny second. Then, they marched into the chorus. They both took up the next verse.

"You say I took the name in vain, but I don't even know the name. But if I did…, well, really, what's it…, to yuh. A blaze of light in every word, and it doesn't matter what you've heard! The holy or the broken Hallelujah!" Kenny and Damien took up a loud chorus as Damien banged his fingers on the piano keys hitting the notes so they vibrated as loud as possible. Satan and Jesus came in somewhere along the way, and sat there, listening. Unbeknownst to the two boys. Damien took up the next verse.

"I did my best…, it wasn't much. I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch. I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool yuh." He let out a chuckle, and Kenny knew what it meant. It was just for him to understand. "And even though, it all went wrong! I'll stand before the Lord of Song! With nothing on my tongue, but Hallelujah!" Kenny and Damien sang out the last chorus of the song. Their voices blending smoothly as they sang, pushing their emotions out through the melody of the song as much as they could. When they were done, Damien was feeling the throbbing of his fingers, which had so recently thumped out the melody on his piano keys. He let the last notes of the melody play out for another thirty seconds before bringing it to a stop. He sighed as he cleared his piano away.

"You really love music, don't you, my son?" Jesus asked making Kenny and Damien both scream.

"Sure!" Kenny gasped as he looked around. "You two really love sneaking into people's rooms, don't you?" Kenny asked.

"Do not…, ever…, ever…, ever tell anyone what you just saw here tonight." Damien explained. "Ever! Or so help me Hell, I will let my full wrath unleash up on you both." He explained. "I'm not kidding, dad." He added looking at Satan bitterly.

Kenny was in school the next day. He saw Kyle walking slowly into the classroom in the morning. Kyle made it to the seat next to Kenny, and sat down. He looked really bad today. His eyes were really red, like he had been crying.

"You all right, Kyle?" Kenny asked as he put an arm around Kyle's skinny shoulders.

"I had a really fucked up dream last night." Kyle said bitterly. "You and the son of the Devil were singing Hallelujah together. I woke up today, and I felt like…, like something was missing. I figure if I tell you, it'll go away." Kyle said as he stared at Kenny.

Kenny made a mental note in his mind to kick Satan and Jesus in the Ass for this. He wondered if there was any particular reason they put it in Kyle's dream.

"Kenny?" Kyle asked softly.

"Yes, Kyle?" Kenny asked as he looked deep into Kyle's eyes.

"Did you know Leonard Cohen is Jewish?" Kyle asked.

Kenny's heart skipped a couple beats. That was probably the reason. "No, Kyle." Kenny said sadly. "I didn't."

"Do you listen to Cohen's music?" Kyle asked softly. "Other than that song?" he asked.

"Yes, Kyle. I really love his songs." Kenny said truthfully.

"Sorry for bothering you." Kyle said softly.

"Don't be." Kenny said as he ruffled Kyle's hair. "You feel any better?" he asked.

"I'm sorry you always die." Kyle said softly.

"Me too, Kyle." Kenny said as he wiped a stray tear from Kyle's cheek. He flicked a lock of Kyle's hair back into place. "Don't worry about it, huh?" Kenny tried. "You're a good guy, and I'm glad you're my friend. But put all that out of your mind, because Rebecca and Mathematics are waiting for you." Kenny said smiling at Kyle.

"Thanks, Kenny." Kyle said as his eyes, and his face smiled.

"Sure." Kenny said as he squeezed Kyle's shoulder.


	28. The Lion Sleeps Tonight

**Kthulu Sleeps tonight**

Kenny was sitting on Stan's couch. Cartman was sitting next to him, and Kyle and Stan were sitting on the couch across from them. Damien, who was now in his male form, minus the horns, was sitting on the bean bag chair he had gotten from Stanley's room. They had just finished playing a round of Poker. Kenny yawned.

He was keeping an eye on Kyle, who seemed to be doing better after the incident in the morning a couple days ago with the dream. He seemed to have put it completely out of his mind. Which was exactly what Kenny wanted. He was glad for it.

"Remember when we were little kids?" Stan sighed. "We had no care in the world?"

"We always had care in the world." Cartman said bitterly. "There was the Terence and Philip trailer we absolutely had to watch…, there was the weekly adventure we always seemed to get ourselves into…, there was our secret identities…, there was Stan getting abused by his sister…, Butters getting grounded. Dude, we never did have care free lives." Cartman recalled.

"Yeah we did, dumb ass. We could've avoided all those adventures." Kyle piped as he stared at the ground. "If I'm not mistaking, it was Stan who craved them the most."

"No, dude. Let's straighten this out. I just craved the Christmas adventures." Stan corrected. "I never wanted to be Tool Shed, or any of the other shit we got into." He explained.

"Remember when you came to our classroom as the new kid?" Cartman asked as he stared at Damien grinning. "It was hella cool. You like… messed up our whole play ground and everything." He chuckled.

"I hated it." Kenny said surprising them all. "Well the fag turned me into a duck billed platapus!" Kenny shouted. "Then Jimbo and Ned up and shot me!"

"I…, uh, I'm sorry for that." Damien said bitterly. "I really didn't know how cool you actually were." He said softly.

"Out of all of us, Kenny is the coolest guy." Stan said smiling. "He's poor, so he appreciates the little things in life."

"Stan!" Kenny shouted as he looked down at the cookie in his hand. "I wanted vanilla wafers! This is chocolate chip cookies!" he shouted as he pretended to throw the cookie at Stan.

"I love you." Stan said laughing.

"So, what do you guys want to do?" asked Kyle as he looked at the clock.

"Don't you have to go do your homework soon, Princess?" asked Cartman smiling.

"Don't call me that!" Kyle shouted as he threw a cookie at Cartman.

"When are your parent's coming home?" Damien asked as he tried to break up the fighting with Cartman and Kyle.

"They were going out on a date." Stan said as he made a face. "I don't know what that entails." He muttered.

Kenny started singing a familiar melody. The boys, including Damien, all moaned. "No, Kinny!" Cartman groaned. "I'll pay you to shut up." Kyle groaned. "This song is faggy!" Stan complained. "I just hate hearing you sing!" Damien moaned.

"In the darkness, the fearfull darkness, Kthulu sleeps tonight! In the darkness, the fearfull darkness, Kthulu sleeps tonight!"

Before they new it, they were all caught up in the song, and snapping their fingers with Kenny as they sang the chorus. Kenny was smiling. He loved when his friends humored him.

"Near the plannet, the peaceful planet, Kthulu sleeps tonight! Near the planet, the peaceful planet, Kthulu sleeps tonight!" They all started singing again, as they snapped their fingers, and tapped their feet.

"Hush my darling, don't fear my darling! Kthulu sleeps tonight! Hush my darling, don't cry my darling! Kthulu sleeps tonight!"

All of them started singing the chorus as if their lives depended on it. Kenny was happy by the time the last verse was up on them. He laughed as the other boys sang.

"And in the mean time, do you know what happens on earth?" Kenny asked.

"What?" Cartman asked as the choir of boys kept singing.

"In the classroom, the boring classroom, Mysterion sleeps tonight! In the classroom, the boring classroom, Mysterion sleeps tonight!"

All of them laughed as the chorus broke apart. It was too funny and corny to resist the laughter. Kenny sighed as the song died away. He leaned back in his seat, and closed his eyes.

"Who wants pizza?" Damien asked.

"Is it free?" Stan asked smiling. "Cuz someone took my wallet."


	29. Rehab (Rihannah)

**Rehab**

They were all sitting in Eric's house. Kenny was drinking a soda, and the rest of the boys were eating fudge. Cartman was hooking up his karaoke machine at the insistence of Kyle, and Stan, who wanted to see the boy make a fool of himself some more. Well, Stan just wanted to be happy. Kenny could see that he was still bent out of shape over Wendy. He planned to change that. He was really annoyed with his friend not being able to find himself another girl.

"I heard from the grape vine," Kenny said as he pulled his jacket off. "That Henrietta likes you, Stan."

"She's incapable of love." Stan said smiling at Kenny.

"No. I mean it. She really likes you. She told me so." Kenny said grinning.

He wasn't lying. She had confided in him, and told him if he spoke to anyone about this, he was going to wake up with his eye balls sliced out. Kenny had nearly told her that she would kill him before she could finish slicing them out. That was just his luck. However, he decided to keep his mouth shut.

"I've got just the song for you, Stan." Cartman said smiling.

"Yeah!" Kenny said as he dragged a sad Stan to the mic beside him. Kenny smiled. "I've been struck with inspiration." He explained. "Thanks, Cartman." He said as he started up the song.

"Stanley, Stanley…, when you first met, you thought you never felt something so strong. She was like your lover…, and your best friend. All wrapped into one, with a ribbon on it. And all…, of a sudden…, when she left, for about the billionth time, you just started falling. You…, say you're dead. You feel so empty and hollow. You say you'll never give yourself to another the way you gave it to her. Don't even recognize the ways she hit you, do yuh? It always takes a miracle to bring you back. And she's the one to blame. And now I'm thinking…, oh! She's the reason why you're thinkinn'…, you might wanna smoke all these cigarettes right now. I guess that's what you get for wishful thinking. You should've never let her enter your door. Next time you wanna go take her back, I shouldn't let you go on and do it. Cuz now you're takin' all my weed! It's like, go check into rehab. Cuz Wendy is your disease! Stanley go check into rehab! That girlie is your disease! You've gotta check into rehab. Cuz Stanley, she's your disease! I'll help you check into rehab! Cuz Stan, you've got a disease!" Kenny put an arm around Stan, and started dancing with him.

"Damn. Ain't it crazy when you love girls. You'd do anything for the one you love. And anytime that she needed you, you'd be there. It's like…, she was your favorite drug. The only problem is, she just keeps using you. In a different way than you keep using her. By now you should know, it's not meant to be. So Stan, you better go, and wean yourself off of her. Cuz she's just gonna continue to use guys like she did it to you. Don't even recognize the things she does, do you? It always takes a miracle to bring you back. And Wendy is to blame. Cuz now I feel like, oh! She's the reason why you're thinkin', you might wanna smoke all these cigarettes right now. But dude, that's what you get for wishful thinking. You should've never let her into your door. Next time she wants you to take her back, you shouldn't really go on and do it. Cuz now you're takin' all my weed! Dude you should check into rehab! Wendy is your disease! ("She's my disease!") Just go and check into rehab. Stanley you have a disease! You gotta check into rehab! For Wendy is your disease! ("She's my disease!") You better check into rehab! Cuz dude, you've got a disease!"

Kenny grabbed Stan's hands and raised them up, swinging them. "Now Stanley, gimme dat! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Now, Kyle gimme dat. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Now Cartman gimme dat. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. I'll give you dat. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh."

Stan started to sing sadly. "Oh! She's the reason why I'm thinking. I just wanna smoke on these cigarettes right now. I guess that's what I get for wishful thinking. I should've never let her enter my door. Next time I wanna go take her back, you shouldn't let me go on and do it. Cuz now I'm taking Kenny's weed! ("Taking all my weed!") I might've checked into rehab! And Wendy, you're my disease! It's like I checked into rehab. And Wendy is my disease! They've got me checked into rehab! Oh! And, Kenny, she's my disease! They told me, check into rehab! And Wendy, you're my disease!"

The song ended, but the instrumental kept going, and Kenny kept dancing Stan around the living room. Stan was sweating, and Kenny was too. Cartman and Kyle were clicking away on their phones taking pictures. Kenny was too busy trying to cheer his friend up to care if they were posted on any social network. He just was having a blast with Stan.


	30. Unraveling (Liz Longley)

**Unraveling**

Stan was alone in the house. He was the only one in the house besides Marvin. He sighed. He wanted to leave. He wanted to call his friends over and have them keep him company. But he couldn't. Kenny was busy with Karen, helping her with homework. He never hung out with Kevin. Kyle was with his parent's. He was stuck here. Cartman didn't want to come over because some stupid TV show was on. Stan was stuck with his grandfather. He sighed.

It wasn't that he didn't like Marvin. He just really hated how the man had fallen apart over the years. He had to take medication now. For Alzheimers disease. There was treatment, but no cure. He just…, was doomed. He still could do his duties alone. No one needed to take him to the bathroom, or anything. On a good day, he would actually act a little like his old self. But mostly, he was just hollow, and empty. Stan sighed. He felt some strange pull towards his grandpa's room, and walked in. The roses on the bedside table were wilting. He gasped.

"Hello, Billy!" his grandpa said smiling.

"It's Stan." Stanley said simply. He always did that. It didn't do anything, but he thought he might try. "Would you like some fresh flowers, Grandpa?" Stan asked smiling down at him.

"How about you actually take me out there to see the damn grass for once, Billy? I can't die, and I'm a hundred and eight years old, I think I deserve to see the flowers!" he shouted.

Stan helped the man into his chair, and they both walked off. He was in a room on the bottom floor, so they wouldn't have to battle with the stairs. Stan took his grandfather outside. They both sat there, Stan sitting next to him on a lawn chair. He sighed. He should've kept his mouth shut.

"Where's your dad, Billy?" Marvin asked softly.

"He's at the store with my mom." Stan said bitterly.

"Where's your sister, Billy?" he asked.

"She's at the gym." Stan said as he felt his grandpa move beside him. He didn't look at the old man.

"When did you get so tall, Billy?" Marvin asked smiling a dentured smile at Stan.

"I'm almost eighteen, grampa." Stan informed blankly.

"I thought you were ten." Marvin said smiling.

"No, sir." Stan said as he picked a rose from the bush in his mom's garden. He placed the rose in Marvin's hand. This one didn't have thorns.

"Where's the watch I got you?" Marvin asked.

Marvin tried to get Stan a birthday present for his sixteenth birthday. He had gotten a watch. But the watch took so long to come, that it wasn't Stan's birthday anymore. That had pissed Marvin off a lot.

"I'm wearing it." Stan said as he showed the man his wrist.

"You look really good, Billy." Marvin said laughing.

"Thanks, Grandpa." Stan said smiling.

"When do you start college, Billy?" Marvin asked smiling again.

"I have a year of school left before I go to college." Stan said bitterly.

But it was useless. They would have the same conversation again. Either in an hour, or in a day, or three. Marvin didn't retain short term memories very good. If at all.

"I love you, Stanley." He said softly. He closed his eyes, and was asleep on his chair.

"I love you, too, Granpa Marvin." Stan said softlyas he wheeled the man back inside.

He put his grandfather to bed, and took the vase of wilted roses, and threw them out. He sighed. He picked a couple roses, and put them back in the vase, replacing them. He sighed. He placed the vase back in his grandfather's room, and left.

"The door's always open." He said softly. "Holler if you need me."

He walked into his room, and left the door open. He didn't want to miss a thing. He sighed. Kenny had been slowly showing Stan a new appreciation for music. He sighed. He turned around, and flipped through his library. He played a song he hardly ever played. As tears filled his eyes, he sang along.

"Boxes, and boxes of all his old things. Old baseball caps, and paper clippings. He swore…, they'd be worth something. They're just gathering dust in the attic somewhere. And he's lost in a room, where he sits and he stares. His mind, as blank as the walls. His memory, as vacant as the halls. And I'm the only son, of his youngest son. I knew him well, before his spirit was gone. And his life…, is a thread woven into…, every part of me. And he's unraveling. Oh, he's unraveling. He looks at my sister, and asks her her name. And every five minutes, she tells him the same. He smiles, but it's cold, and dead. And I'm screaming…, out loud…, in my head. Cuz I'm the only son, of his youngest son. I knew him well, before his spirit…, was gone. And his life, is a thread woven into every part of me. And he's unraveling. Marvin's unraveling. We tried to pull him back. Stories, and photographs, of his children who love him, sisters and brothers, that he can't remember, but how could a heart forget. And I'm the only son, of his youngest son. I knew you well before your spirit, was gone. And your life, is a thread woven into, every part of me. But you're unraveling. God, you're unraveling. I've been tearing through boxes on nights I can't sleep. Searching for memories, of who you used to be."

Stan felt the river of tears pooring down his face. He just couldn't hold it anymore. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up. Shelly was crying, too, as she lifted him from his computer chair, hugging him. She was about to tell him that Marvin would be okay, but it was no use. He was done. It was by the grace of God that Marvin was healthy and alive still. Shelly held Stan in her arms as she too cried. She didn't say anything. There wasn't a thing to say.


	31. The Man Who Can't Be Moved (The Script)

**The Man In A Bad Mood**

Kenny was fuming as he woke up. He was in Hell again. He didn't know who had done it this time, but someone had thrown a rock, and the rock had shattered his bedroom window, and hit the blond in the head. That wasn't what killed him, though. What killed him was the fact that he had been eating at the very exact moment, and he had choked on his meal. He was eating a very unhealthy dinner of Jolly Ranchers. So, maybe it was Karma. But he still hated it all the same. He sighed.

"What happened this time?" Damien asked laughing as he spotted Kenny fuming. He was coming back to his chamber from a little walk in the garden.

"Shut up, and leave me alone." Kenny grumbled.

"This is my room, bro." Damien reminded. "Tell me what happened, if you wanna stay here." He said grinning.

Kenny explained it to him as Damien listened. He was turning on his computer.

"Don't you dare do that, Damien Thorn! I am not going to sing!" Kenny shouted bitterly.

"Yes, you are." Damien said grinning.

"I'd like to see a dumb ass like you make me." Kenny said as he walked away.

He listened as the instrumental played. He sighed. He was not happy in the least today. Damien was playing on that.

"Going back to your bedroom, where I first saw you. Gonna sit here in my orange jacket, not gonna move. Got some words on cardboard, got this, anger in my head. Sayin', if you see this face, can you just leave me alone. Some try to, make me laugh, they don't, understand. I'm not, broken, I'm just a really bitter man. I know it, makes no sense, but what else, can I do? How can I live life, when this curse is just like glue. Cuz if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me. And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet. And you'll see me waiting for you, right in hell where I should be. In a bad mood. In a bad mood!"

Damien cracked up as Kenny grabbed a picture frame with his picture in it, and threw it at the wall. It shattered on impact, and Damien cheered. "Sing it, Kenny!" he shouted.

"My momma says, son, you, can't give up. I said, I don't care what it takes, a month a day, a year. Gotta stand my ground even if the deaths are gross. If he changes his mind, I'll be the first one he lets know. Cuz if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me. And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Hoping maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet. And you'll see me waiting for you, right in Hell where I should be. In a bad mood. In a bad mood! In a bad mood, in a bad mood! No one talks about the guy, who just can't seem to die. Whoa, mmm. There are tons of empty tombs, where this poor fella should lie. Whoa, mmm. Maybe I'll get famous, as the man in a bad mood. And maybe you won't mean to, but you'll see me walking through. And you'll come running to my tomb stone. Cuz you know I'll wait for you! I'm the man in a bad mood. The man in a bad mood. Cuz if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me. And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be. Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet. And you'll see me waiting for you, right in Hell where I should be. In a bad mood. Cuz if one day you wake up and find that your missing me, and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I should be. (In a bad mood.) Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet. (IN a bad mood.) And you'll see me waiting for you, right in Hell where I should be. Going back to the bedroom, where I first saw you, gonna camp out in my orange jacket, in a bad mood."

"That wasn't so bad, now, was it?" Damien asked laughing.

"I hate you, Damien." Kenny said as he kicked a chair. "You can rot here for all I care." He muttered.


	32. When the Time's Right (Akon)

**When the Time's Right**

Kenny was at a party with the rest of his class mates. It was the half way through the year party. There really wasn't that much going on, and it wasn't really that big of a deal. But Token had decided to get his party on, and throw his class a bash. He had invited everyone. That meant that Wendy and Clyde were going to be there. Stan was going to be there, too, But Kenny didn't know if Stan would be able to get over Wendy enough to just have fun at the party.

Stan always did this. He either skipped out on the party, or he actually went through with it. But either way, he was a bitter sob story. Kenny found out through Kyle that Stan would not be going to the party. He smiled. He would be free as could be. He wouldn't have to do any Stan patrol.

He spent quite a lot of time getting plastered at the party. Stan didn't send him any text messages, or anything. He just let him be. Kenny was glad because this meant he could enjoy himself. He was really having fun. When the party was over, it was about two in the morning. He made his way over to Stan's house. He knocked on Stan's window, but no one answered. He went around, and to his surprise, the door was open. He went in, and shut the door, and locked it. He walked slowly and quietly upstairs. He opened Stan's room door, and saw him sitting at his computer desk.

"The hell!" Stan shouted.

"Yuh lef' yer door unlocked, Marsh." Kenny said as he laughed. "Where's your mom-dad?" he asked grinning.

"Kenny, they went out. Shelly is staying at her boyfriend's house." Stan said as he stood up. "You drunk, Ken?" he asked.

"Nah! Me? A McCormick? Hell no!" he said as he walked into Stan's room. "But I'll tell yuh whuat?" Kenny said as he laughed a shaky laugh. "I got something to lay on yuh." He said as he walked over to Stan. "You should go grab one o' your dad's beers, and we can have a chat, bro." he said smiling.

"Kenny, I don't want beer." Stan said as he tried to get away from Kenny. He did not smell like beer. He smelled like wine. Stan liked the smell, but he was afraid of what it meant. Kenny needed to get some sleep.

"Staney boy, you need to drink for this one." Kenny said smiling. "I really have to talk to you." He said grinning.

"I won't have sex with you, Kenny." Stan spat bitterly.

Kenny pouted. "But Wendy ain't your gurfriend no mores." Kenny said as he closed the door and walked over to the raven. "I'ma show yuh that not only girls can please yuh, Staney." He said grinning.

"Kenny, get off." Stan said as he pushed him away.

"Hey!" shouted Kenny as a lump grew in his throat. "I am the one who dies all the time!" he said as a tear fell from his eye. "You should at least give me this one, seeing as I'll probably die from the shock of you letting me do you!"

"Kenny, you need to go to sleep." Stan said as he started to blush.

"So…, no?" Kenny asked softly. "Reject Kenny day is today, I didn't know that." He muttered.

"Kenny!" Stan moaned. "Please, dude! You're just really drunk!" he moaned.

Kenny sighed. "How about if I sing to you, and if you like my song, you let me come in for the kill?" Kenny asked softly.

"Fine!" Stan shouted as he collapsed onto his bed. How bad could this be? It's not like Kenny could put a coherent song together. He was shit faced right now. He watched as Kenny closed his door. Kenny opened a new tab on Stan's computer. He smirked as he went to YouTube and got the instrumental he needed.

"You're going to try and woo me with an Akon song?" Stan asked.

"Hells yeah, bro!" Kenny said smartly. He cleared his throat.

"Come on! Okay, okay, okay, okay. Come on! All my ravens in the place to be! Come on! Okay, okay, okay, okay! All my sexy ravens sing along with me! Don't make me call the police! It's a crime the way you bend your knees, from the table to the floor! Drop it down and do it slow! Give it up to all the brothers on the corner spendin' dough. Like, ain't nothin' but money to me! So sweet, but you ain't nothin' but honies to me! Shawty with your sexy ass, sippin' on that gigantic glass, showin' up in the VIP, plannin' to roll out with me. Knowin' that you're gonna come back, as if you're a boomerang now. Or maybe you'll never wanna come back, so I add yuh to my wall of fame now. Bet your girl can't do it like this. Tell the truth, bro. Bet you she can't do it like this. (It's all on you, now.)."

As he sang, he did a bunch of sexy poses, and started trying to give a struggling Stan a lap dance. Stan had a face so red you could fry an egg on it. Kenny just kept on singing.

"When the time's right, I'd like to come ovuh…, and get to know yuh…, try to get closuh. Oh, when the time's right, I'd like to come ovuh…, and work yuh ovuh, across your sofa. Is it okay if I come ovuh. That way I can get to know yuh. Let me get a little closuh. Do yuh all ovuh your sofa." He wrapped Stan up in a hug, and started leaning the boy back in his bed. He grinned as he nibbled on Stan's ear. He let out a purr.

"Well I walked in the club where all the ravens are so fly. Gotta work that body so beautifully make me wanna cry. That body could do whatever, that's…, no…, lie. Got a trigger, dick getting' bigger, makin' me wanna slide, up under my apple tree. Better yet, you on top of me. Switch it over, let me bust all over your anatomy! You're so sexy! Gotta punish you in the first degree, ain't no stoppin' that body rockin' until we fall asleep." He giggled as he gave Stan a chased kiss on the lips.

"When the time's right, I'd like to come ovuh. And get to know yuh, try to get closuh. When the time's right, I'd like to come ovuh, and work yuh ovuh. Across your sofa. Is it okay if I come ovuh. That way I can get to know yuh. Let me get a little closuh. Do you all over your sofa. I could tell by the way you gettin' hard, you like my type o' brother. Let us bang in the back o' the jeep and put a puncture in the rubber. I could tell by the way you act so soft, you like this type o' brother. Better get romantic with yuh, make love to yuh like no other. With the wine glass, to go with your fine ass. I could make that shine last, if I make you mine fast. You the type I go all out to put you onto my staff. Let me be your teacher, baby boy, cuz you in the wrong class."

Kenny stopped singing as he captured Stan's lips in his. He let out a soft victorious moan, and let his tongue glide through Stan's. He pulled away, smiling.

"So, what d'yuh say, Staney boy?" he whispered seductively.

"Fuck it." Stan moaned. "Go ahead, Kenny." He pleaded.

The boys lusted after each other and made love the rest of the night. They were so into each other they didn't even know when the parents got home. But so quiet was their lust that the adults didn't even know what was happening. And Kenny had finally slept with **all **the boys in his class.


	33. The Thing About Love (Aleesha Keys)

**The Thing About Death**

It was three weeks after Stan and Kenny had their little adventure. Kenny was waking up in Hell. He had been walking down the street, and there had been construction. He fell into a giant hole. He had landed on a rod used for construction, and had been impaled. He felt so much pain in the last few moments of his life. He opened his eyes to find Damien staring at him. Kenny didn't even say anything. He just wanted to be left alone. But Damien turned into Dana, and took him in her arms. He sighed.

"You never listen, do you?" he muttered.

"No." Dana said smiling. "Can I sing to you?" she asked.

"Fine." Kenny said bitterly.

"Death! Death will come find you! Just to re…, mind you, of who you are. Oh, death! It will come take you! Threaten to, break you! Take what you got. Everybody laughs, everybody cries. Oh, life can hurt you, baby, but…, give it all a try. See that's the thing about death." Kenny started to cry as he listened to the familiar parody of the wonderful song. He wrapped his arms around Dana.

"Death…, sometimes will…, blind you. Sneak up behind you…, you can't give enough. But life! It will embrace you! Totally amaze you! So you don't give up. Everybody laughs, everybody cries. Sure it can hurt you, baby, but…, give your life a try. See that's the thing about death."

Dana picked Kenny up in her arms, and started dancing around the room. She was trying to get Kenny to smile. Kenny took up the next bit. "Oh! Tell me that I'm not…, the only one, who's going through it all! Sometimes I feel like…, the only one, going through it all! But it's time, oh, it's time! For me to, shine! So it's 'bout time, oh, it's time, for me to shine!"

Kenny and Dana took up the last verse. The song was slow as they sang. "Everybody laughs…, everybody cries…, oh, sure it might hurt you, baby but…, give your life a try. That's the thing about death. That's the thing about death. O, whoa, that's the thing…, about, the thing about death, babe."

Kenny let out a sigh as he finished. He felt so good. He smiled.

"Sleep good, Kenny." Dana said smiling at him as she rocked him to sleep.


	34. Quit Playing Games (Backstreet Boys)

**Quit Takin' All of My Pot**

Kenny was lying on a lawn chair in Stan's back yard. It was a Saturday night, and the parents were out. Shelly was with her boyfriend, so the boys decided it was Stan's turn to host game night. Of course, it wasn't really game night, because no one was playing games. Kenny was lying in the chair, and Cartman and Kyle were eating pizza and salad. Stan was carefully loading up a pipe. He had gotten some product from Token.

"Hey, why don't you invite Damien to hang out?" Stan asked as he dusted his hands off on his pants.

"Dana?" Kenny asked.

"Damien." Stan corrected. "We all know who he is. And honestly, I think all of us have a weird feeling hanging around Dana." Stan explained.

"I don't need to invite him. He knows where to find me." Kenny said as he stretched out and took a piece of pizza from Kyle's plate. "If he wants to crash the party, he won't hesitate." Kenny explained.

"What's on the agenda tonight?" Kyle asked as he bit down on a carrot.

"I figure after you eat all your rabbit food," Kenny explained. "I'd trick you into taking a couple hits with Stan and I." he said grinning devilishly.

"Dude…," Stan gave Kenny a sideways glance. "who said anything about me sharing this stuff with you?" he asked.

"You and I go way back, Stanley. Don't tell me you're not going to share." Kenny said sighing. "I shared my stash with you the other day when you broke up with Wendy and needed someone to smoke with." Kenny explained.

"And conveniently," Cartman said as he swallowed a large mouthful. "he didn't have any weed of his own."

"Damn straight." Kenny said as he slapped Cartman on the arm as Cartman sat down beside him.

"Cartman, you don't even smoke." Stan said as he grabbed the pipe and handed it to Kenny. "You need to stay out of these matters." He explained. "So does Kyle."

"I could smoke if I wanted to." Cartman growled.

"Sure." Stan and Kenny both said simultaneously.

"I could quit if I wanted to, too." Kenny explained as he yawned.

"You all right?" Kyle asked.

"I haven't been sleeping very well. My house is cold all the time, Karen and Kevin have all the good blankets, and my job is kicking my ass." Kenny said bitterly. "But I'm not one to complain. It'll get better." He said as he closed his eyes.

"I've got something that'll surely cheer you up." Stan said grinning.

"No karaoke." Kyle and Cartman said at the same time.

"Oh, come on. Why do you always have to assume that when I have something that'll cheer Kenny up it's karaoke?" Stan asked bitterly.

"You and Kenny have been on a streak lately, where everything leads to singing." Kyle explained.

"I think I've had enough after that poorly executed Rihanna bit." Cartman muttered.

"I could do Gaga with you if you feel left out." Kenny said grinning.

"Shoot me." Kyle moaned pretending to throw up.

Stan started singing. "Kenneh. Oh. When I look at you. I see…, that you're not being true to me. Cuz you stole my weed. I know…, you took a half a bowl last week. Sometimes I wish I could…, turn back time…, impossible as it may seem. But I wish I could…, so that, you will…, Quit takin' all of my pot. (Quit takin' all.) My pot. (I know you're jealous.) You've been a mooch from the start. (Quit takin' all.) With My pot. I know that the…, stuff I got. Just keeps you coming back to me. Everything you do…, is for me. So that I end up giving you weed. Sometimes I wish I could. Just say no. Impossible as it may seem. But I wish I could. So bad. Kenny…, Quit takin' all of my pot. (Quit takin' all.) of my pot. I should say no from the start. (Quit takin' all.) From the start. Quit takin' it! Kenny, Kenny! The bond that we had was so strong! Until you started takin' my stash. Oh, Kenny, Kenny! This is not right. Let's stop this tonight. Kenny. Oh. Quit takin' all of my pot. Na nan a, nan a na. Sometime I wish I could, turn back time. To keep you from takin' my pot. But I don't think I should. Oh no. Kenny."

"I won't take all of your pot. If you stop singing this song. This is a really gay song. I won't take all of your…, if you stop singing this song!" Kenny sang as he and the rest of the boys stood up and walked to the kitchen. "Who wants to watch a movie?" Kenny asked.

"Let's watch Old Yeller." Kyle suggested.

"No that's for fags." Cartman explained.

"Fine. What do you supposed we do, fat ass?" Kyle asked bitterly.

"Let's watch All Quiet On the Western Front." Cartman suggested softly.

No one disagreed. Kyle was surprised that the boy would suggest that. He sighed. He was happy he had his three best friends. And Kenny hadn't died in a while.


	35. I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry)

**I Ate the Food (And I liked it)**

"You coming?" Damien asked as he and the rest of the boys got ready to go. It was the next day after the little weed incident. Kenny sighed as he got his coat, and they all left. Damien had agreed to let the boys tag along with him and Kenny. He was going to take them all for Sushi. Stan was the only one of them who had tried it. The rest of them had no clue how it tasted. Granted the boys had probably tried it when they were little, but they all had no recollection of it. So, they were off on a food adventure.

They walked into the place, and it actually didn't smell bad. The atmosphere was very relaxed, and there were people eating Sushi at a round table with a train in the middle. The train was going around the track, with Sushi plates of different varieties on it. They all found some seats, and looked at all the food passing by.

Stan made a grab for one of the dishes, and nearly missed it. He managed to grab the food, and hauled it over towards himself. He picked up the food with his chop sticks and took a nibble. He grinned a little at Damien. It tasted good so far. He took another bite.

The boys all sat there for half an hour trying all the different foods. It was actually kind of good. Damien stuck to eating all the food, while the rest of them stuck to eating California rolls, and other stuff that was semi cooked. Kenny joined Damien in eating raw fish, such as Salmon, or eel. But the rest of the boys weren't having it. By the time they were done, though, they were stuffed. They all paid, and made their way home. They had managed to spend sixty four dollars just in Sushi. A bottle of Sake cost the group ten dollars, and all of them only got a shot glass full. All in all, it wasn't really that bad.

"Maybe if the fish weren't raw, I'd eat them." Kyle said as they walked to Stan's house.

"The point of Sashimi is raw fish, Kyle." Damien said softly.

The next day was uneventful. Kenny's mom let him go over to Stan's house for dinner, and both moms cooked a really good meal. It was meat loaf, with mashed potatoes, and gravy. Stan's mom wasn't really famous for her meat loaf, and Kenny's mother couldn't make meat loaf either. She could make mashed potatoes, and she could make a mean turkey, but no meat loaf. So, the boys were apprehensive as they sat down to eat.

For dessert, they ended up having a fruit salad that was actually not that bad. It had grapes, marshmallows, peaches, nuts, and whipped cream. It was a delighted family that made their way to the living room to watch TV.

"I loved the food, it was delicious." Stan said smiling at the ladies.

"Yeah, Sharon. Your cooking has improved." Randy said bluntly.

"Thanks." Sharon said bitterly as she stared angrily at her husband.

"I, for one, think it was exceptional." Kenny said as he put on a serious face. "I'd like to show you how good I think it was…, in song." He proposed.

"Nah." Stan and the men said all at once.

"Yes!" Karen and Shelly said at the same time.

"Let the turd sing." Shelly demanded as she turned off the TV.

Kenny went to the Karaoke machine and selected a tune. The song started up.

"Booooooooo!" shouted Kevin and the rest of the boys.

"For heaven's sake, Kenny. Do you have to pick this song?" Sharon asked sadly. "It's annoying as hell." She explained.

"Just listen." Kenny said grinning as he cleared his throat.

"This turned out better than I planned, quite unexpected. The worst was yet to come, is what, I had excepted. It's not what I'm used to. Cuz, I am used to grub, that is hard to swallow, but that's not what this was! I ate my food and I liked it! I love how it came together. I ate the food just to try it! I got hooked on it forever! It felt so wrong, it felt so right, I love your cooking, tonight! I ate the food and I liked it, I liked it!"

He started jumping around the room with the wireless mic in his hand. He cleared his throat as the next verse came up. "Your meat loaf usually tastes plain, that doesn't matter. The moment I tasted the food, my mind just shattered. This isn't, quite like you. To make a good meatloaf. You always, fuck food up. This time it's different! I ate your food and I liked it! The gravy was quite the chaser. I gave in and I just tried it! It was some really good shit. It felt so wrong, it felt so right, you made good dinner, tonight. I ate your food and I liked it! I liked it!"

He rubbed his hands together and started the bridge. "Your food is never quite the dream. It's never quite what it may seem. Some of the time it looks quite gross. And you can't, deny it! This dinner was a big deal though! Cuz I ate your food and I liked it! … I liked it!" he shouted as he dropped to the floor in mock exhaustion.

"I'm glad you like my meat loaf, Kenny." Said Sharon grinning down at the boy. "Turn on the TV and let these guys watch their game, and do me a favor…," she said as she helped him up. "Never…, sing that song again." She requested as Kenny went back into the kitchen for seconds.


	36. Happy Pharrell Williams

Ratty

Kenny was sitting in the kitchen with his dad as they ate breakfast. He had restocked the refrigerator recently, so they both sat there, eating a bowl of cereal. Karol refused to cook until ten forty-five, and was upstairs with Karen and Kevin trying to get them to do their chores. Kevin had reluctantly done his, and Karen was throwing a tantrum, as Kenny and his dad heard from the kitchen. Kenny finished his cereal, and got up.

"Where you off to, Kenny?" his dad asked.

"I'm gonna go see about helping mom and Karen." He said as he rinsed his bowl.

"Good luck." Kevin said as he grabbed the cereal up on entering the kitchen.

Kenny heard Kevin and his dad talking and headed up the stairs. Karen was yelling at the top of her lungs, and Karol was trying to get a word in edge wise. But there was no success. Kenny put a hand on Karen's shoulder, and looked at his mom as Karen went silent.

"I'll get her to clean her room." He muttered softly looking at a very red faced Karol McCormick.

"Ah betcha cain't do it, Kinny!" she grumbled. "She's Stuart's daughter." Karol said as she left.

Kenny closed the door.

"Make for the window!" Karen whispered as she tried to get away from her brother.

"I was serious. You are going to clean your room." Kenny said softly as he steered her to the chair at her ratty desk. "Why don't you wanna clean your room, darlin'?" Kenny asked softly.

"Because I hate cleaning." Karen muttered. "I have nothing nice to clean, or keep clean, so what's the point? We aren't as poor as people think, Ken, but still. I have nothing nice, so I don't know why mom's riding my ass about cleaning." Karen said bitterly.

"Okay, images that are gross. Let's not haunt me with them." Kenny said as he rubbed at his eyes. "You don't use that phrase around me, do you hear?" he asked bitterly. "Have you forgotten that if you do this, you'll get to go over to Ruby's place and play with the girls?" he asked softly.

"I don't care. I can just sneak out through the window." Karen said bitterly.

"What would it take, to get you to clean this room?" Kenny asked softly.

"I don't really want it to take anything. I don't wanna do it, period." She said bitterly.

"Karen, here's the deal—"

"—You'll do it for me?" Karen interrupted.

"No, Karen, I will not do it for you." Kenny said bitterly. "I want you, to do it with me." he said as he glared at her.

"Kenny, I can't find anything to motivate me to clean." She muttered. "I just don't wanna do it. Ever."

"Well, what are you going to do when you get your own place?" Kenny asked softly. "Are you just going to let it all pile up?"

"That's different. I'm going to have nice things to clean the house for. Not just ratty clothes, and ratty rats, and all kinds of ratty junk." She muttered as she sat in her chair. "Look, every time I sit in this chair, I get stuffing stuck to my ass from the upholstery." She muttered.

"If Mysterion helps you clean—"

"—I would help him clean!" Karen shouted at the top of her lungs.

"Karen, calm down! Sheesh! It's just me in the suit, you know?" he said bitterly.

"You can do it at super speed, though." She said softly.

"Fine. Let's get to work." He muttered softly.

"It might seem crazy what I'm 'bout to say." He started to sing as he directed her to stand by her closet. "But girl this bed, really should be made." He said. In one swift motion, he tossed everything off the bed, and started to make it super-fast. "And these…, shoes need to be, in another place." He said as he tossed Karen all the shoes. She quickly tossed them into a bin in her closet. "Take all of…, these dirty clothes, and go put them away." He coaxed as he gave her a pile of clothes which she tossed in her hamper. "Your room is ratty! Clap along if you feel, like a girl with a ratty room. (Because it's ratty!) Clap along if you know, it's gonna be clean soon. (Cuz it's so ratty!) Clap along if you feel, like a girl with a ratty room! (It's way too ratty!) Clap along if you want, your room to be clean real soon." He was picking up all her trash in the process, and throwing it all into the trash can she held out for him.

"Your garbage can, is to hold your trash." He said as he continued to toss every piece of garbage into the bin she held. "Let's make sure all we've got, makes it in at last." He said as he threw an old pop tart rapper in. "I should probably warn you, this'll hurt my spine." He said as he bent down again and picked up another armful of rappers. "No offense to you, but this trash is mine." he said as he tossed it all in. Karen was giggling now. "Here's why. Your room is, ratty! Clap along, if you feel, like a girl with a ratty room. (It's way too ratty!) Clap along if you know, this will be over soon. (It won't be ratty!) Clap along, if you feel, like I should use a broom. (The broom is Ratty!) Clap along if you know what to do with a ratty broom." He said as he started quickly sweeping. He jumped into the bridge as he started to put all the stuff he was sweeping into a dust pan.

"Can't nothin'…, bring me down. Can't nothin', bring me down. Cuz cleaning's too fun! I'll tell you now!" As he sang, he swept, and every once in a while, tossed all the stuff into the bin Karen held. Suddenly, it was time for the chorus again.

"And here's why! Your room's not ratty! Clap along, if you feel, like you have a cleaner room! (It's not so ratty!) Clap along if you feel, like cleaning is not such gloom! (The room's not ratty!) Clap along if you loved, that you saw me use a broom! (The broom was ratty!) Clap along if you know that cleaning does not bring doom!"

Kenny and Karen grabbed the trash and dirty laundry and sauntered down the hall, and down the stairs into the living room as they got ready to throw away the trash, and give the clothing to Mrs. McCormick to take to the laundry mat. They were both singing the rest of the repeated chorus as they cleaned.

"Well, I'll be." Kevin muttered as he watched. He stared at Kenny and Karen. "He got her to clean her room!" he whispered.

"Now I know the world is about to end." Stu mumbled as he sat down in front of the TV. "Woman!" he shouted at Karol. "Get the Jaws of Life!"


	37. Fallen Alicia Keys

I Keep On…, Fallin'

Kenny was sitting in detention looking down at his desk. He had a pencil in hand, and was doodling on a pad. Mindless. Just circles and lines and squiggles. The bell rang, and he finally left for home. He knew when he got there, he was going to get it from his parents. They already knew he had gotten detention. He was sure of it. Sure enough…

"Kenny!" shouted his mom when he went into the kitchen twenty minutes later. "What are yuh doin' getting' detention again for the third day this week?" she asked.

"I came prepared." Kenny said sadly. "I came prepared to tell you about my shit, mom." He said softly.

"You ain't going to sing again, are yuh?" she asked softly. "Ah don't know how long Ah can handle all them badly put together songs." She moaned.

"Mom, it's the only way I can express myself. If you want to put me down for expressing myself…, well, fine!" he said pretending to cry.

"Oh, all raht." She muttered. "If yuh have tuh." She said as she settled down in a kitchen chair to hear his new song.

"I keep on fallin'…, asleep…, in class. It's true. Sometimes I get it, sometimes it makes me blue. Sometimes I do good. Ma, just like I should. All this material! Makes me so confused. I keep on fallin'…, straight to sleep…, in class. It's true. I've never, been so bored, the way I am, in school. Oh, oh, I! Never felt this way! What grownups think will give you so much pleasure! Caused me so much pain. Just when I think, I ain't gonna look like a fool. I start fallin', back asleep in school! I keep on fallin' in and out, of sleep, at school. I've never been so bored, the way I am…, in school!"

"For heaven's sake, Kinny! Just stop!" Karol shouted bitterly. "Because yuh went and bored me with your song, Ah'll let it slahd this tahm." She explained as she stood up. "But fall asleep again, mister, and yuh get grounded!" she shouted as she whacked him on the head.

"I love you, ma." Kenny said softly as he walked up to his room


	38. Demons Imagine Dragons

As Done By Kenny McCormick and Damien Thorn

Damien and Kenny sat there reading in a bean bag chair. Kenny had to read _The Green Mile _for his English class. He had watched the movie, because he wanted to try and get out of reading the book, but Damien had persuaded him against it. So, there they sat, reading the book.

During one of the breaks, Kenny went to fetch them some juice, and some food. He came into the room, with his two glasses of juice, and some cookies. He set them down on the night stand as he looked around the room. Damien had his guitar in his hands, and Kenny sighed. He looked at the stars out through the window, and Damien started playing. Kenny started to sing.

"When the days are cold, and the cards all fold, and the tears we shed are all made of gold." Damien took the next set of words.

"When your dreams all fail, and the ones we hale are the worst of all and the blood runs stale…,"

Kenny started to sing as tears filled his eyes. The next set of lyrics they sang in alternative. First Kenny sang a line, then Damien. "I want to hide the truth,"

"I want to shelter you."

"But with the beast inside, there's no where I can hide."

Kenny and Damien harmonized for the next part. "No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom Come, this is my kingdom come."

Damien looked over at a tearful Kenny. He started singing the next verse. "When you see my grief, look into my eyes. That's where my Demons hide,…"

"That's where my Demons hide." Kenny chimed in. "Don't Get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my Demons hide,…"

"It's where my Demons hide!" Damien sang as he smoothly played his guitar. "When the curtains fall, and my engine stalls. When my lights fade out all the Demons call."

"So they dug your grave, and the God you've made, will come call on you, at the bed you've made." There was a lot of unsaid things as Damien took the next words. He was looking straight into Kenny's eyes. "Don't want to let you down, but I am Hell bound. Though this is all for you, don't want to hide the truth."

Damien and Kenny sang their loudest and smoothest as they took up the next lines. "No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed! This is my Kingdom Come, this is my Kingdom Come!"

Damien stared straight into Kenny as he sang the next verse. "When you feel my grief, look into my eyes. It's where my Demons hide,…"

"It's where our Demons hide!" Kenny sang as Damien kept the beat with his singing. They both harmonized again.

"Don't get too close, it's dark inside! It's where our Demons hide, in all of us they hide!" Kenny started to sing, and in this part, they alternated the lines again.

"They say it's what you make!"

"I say it's up to fate!"

"It's woven in my soul!"

"Don't make me let you go!" Kenny pleaded as he started silently crying.

"Your eyes, they shine so bright! I want to save their light! I can't escape this now! Oh, please, don't show me how!"

Kenny and Damien both sang out as they entered the bridge of the song. "When you feel my grief, look into my eyes! It's where my Demons hide, where all our Demons hide! Don't get too close, it's dark inside! It's where the Demons hide, where all the Demons hide!"

The song ended abruptly, as the real song did when it was normally played. Damien looked over at the door, and realized they weren't alone. Kevin and Karen were watching both of them. Kenny blushed, but Damien didn't really care. As far as he knew, they both had exchanged a very deep message. He just hoped Kenny was smart enough to grasp it.

"I'm glad you didn't spoof this song." Karen muttered. "I like it. I don't really want to put any substitute words in here."

"Thanks." Damien muttered. "I think I have to go."

"Nah." Kenny said as he smiled at Damien through watery eyes. "You've still got to read the rest of this book with me."


	39. Story of My Life OneDirection

Story of My Life

Kenny sat in his chair eating some breakfast before he went to school. He hated waking up in the morning. He did deserve it though. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. He had stayed up half of the night doing some homework, and reading the rest of his book. No, he hadn't really. He had stayed up all night playing video games. He had finally gotten to sleep around two in the morning, only to be woken up around six by Karen, telling him it was time for him to go to school. She was cheery and bright eyed, while he was grumbly and droopy eyed. He ate his cereal, and went to wait for the bus after he did everything boys normally do in the morning before going to school.

He went through the motions that day, and was tired for most of it. He ate a burger and fries for lunch that Damien had brought by during break. Some girls ooooooooed and awed at Damien arriving in school as Dana. In her Defense, she did look very attractive. Some boys even cat called her, and she threatened to kick their asses with the end of her stiletto. They took the message, and promptly backed off. She took Kenny to a table in the corner of the cafeteria, and they sat eating in silence for ten minutes.

"Why do you dress up like that, anyway?" Kenny asked.

"Does it bother you?" Dana asked smiling her red smile.

"Yes." Kenny said without hesitation.

"Then," Dana said as she pushed her C cups out towards him. "That's why, my love." She said in her pixie voice. She flashed Kenny a lot of cleavage.

Kenny growled deeply as he tried to eat his food and ignore the reaction his body was having to this girl. "Can't you just…, I don't know. Turn back into Damien for once?" he asked.

"That would be too easy, my love." Dana said as she watched Kenny eating his burger.

"Don't call me that." He moaned.

"Don't you love me?" she asked batting her long lashes.

Kenny had no way to answer as he stared dumbly at her. He didn't know what to say.

"Kenny?" she asked.

"I don't know. I am rather fond of Dana, but I really like Damien." He muttered.

"You trying to tell me you're gay?" she asked.

"I am heteroflexible." He said softly. "And don't sass me, either. I am mostly straight, with bi tendencies." He explained.

"I'll go get Damien, then. Unless you want me to change into him right here—"

"-No! It's quite all right." Kenny said as he felt his face go red. "Just…, do what you have to, away from me."

He watched Dana walk off in the direction of the bathrooms. When he returned, Damien was his lean teenage self again. When he rejoined Kenny again, Kenny was eating his burger, trying to avoid Damien's eyes. Damien smirked as he ate his burger.

"Why do you eat food if you're not even a real human?" Kenny asked confused.

"It's good. Besides, I can morph." Damien answered with a mouth full.

"So what happens to all your food when you Demonize again?" Kenny asked. "It can't just disappear. Matter is never destroyed, it's only multiplied, and changed."

"Do you really want to know?" Damien asked.

"You bet." Kenny said as he finished his fries.

"When I eat food, it just hardens in my stomach. Everything I eat, or drink, just turns to stone."

Kenny didn't say a thing for the rest of the meal. He just didn't know exactly how to respond. He wanted to ask Damien why he did it. Why it was that he ate like a normal person, and why it was that he acted like a normal person, if he wasn't. He didn't want to offend him, though.

After school, Kenny got a ride from him back home. He didn't know what to say, so he kept his mouth shut the whole entire time.

"So do you even breathe?" he asked as he looked at his Demon friend.

"I have to. In front of everyone else. Otherwise, no. I don't breathe, sleep, blink, or do any other human thing unless I really have to."

"Oh." Was all Kenny could say. He didn't have the heart to say anything else.

When he got home, the house was empty, thank the Lords above. He set his backpack in his room, and went back down stairs, where Damien was setting up his guitar.

"Oh, come on. Don't make me sing." Kenny moaned.

"Sing, boy! Sing!" Damien said in a sing song voice. "Sing for all the world to hear." Damien started to play his guitar in a familiar tune.

"No!" Kenny yelled. "Not this song, anything but this song!"

"Oh, Kenny, please do this song!" said a voice as the door closed behind Kenny.

Kenny turned around and looked at his little sister, coming in the room with her backpack on. She looked ecstatic. "Please do a spoof of this song, Ken, please!" she begged.

"We won't tell anyone." Damien coaxed.

"Fuckin' fine." Kenny growled.

"Written in these walls are the stories that I can't explain." Kenny sang softly. ("Louder!" Karen squealed.) "They leave my grave open, but it stays right here empty for days. I wake up in the mornin' after dyin' when I broke all of my bones. It seems to me that when I die, these scars I have aren't really known. And I'll be, dead by tonight. The grave I lay in will be filled one night. And even though I'm holding on too tight, there's nothing there for me." Damien's guitar notes came out louder as the chorus approached. "The story of my life! I make it home! I die that night! They sit and mourn, and time! Is frozen! The story of my life, I'd give my all! If only God, could hear my call, and time! Weren't frozen! The story of my life!" At this point, he was actually getting into the song. "Written on these walls, are the curses that I can't change. Leave my soul yearning but, it stays right, in its cage. I know that in the morning, you'll, behave as if everything is quite still. Although I am broken, my life is unchanged, still." He felt the tears start up as he sang. "And I'll be dead by tonight. The sight of it will leave your brain in time. I'll lower to my grave and out of sight. And wake up fresh and clean." Damien turned up the notes on his guitar again. "The story of my life! I'd give my all! If only God, could hear my call! In time! Is frozen! The story of my life, I'd wait for it, to fade away! So I would stay! And time! Is frozen! I'll be waiting for this time, to come around! I feel like running after my life is like chasing a cloud!" He and Damien both started singing and playing at a soft melody. "The story of my life. I'll die tonight. And leave this earth, be out of sight, and time. IS frozen." He and Damien took up a loud song once again. "The story of my life! Be dead by night! And No one's there, to hold me tight, and time! Is frozen! The story of my life! The song and guitar strings faded off at an equal distance. Karen was squealing and jumping up and down in front of them as she clapped.

"You just like it because One Direction is your dream." Kenny said bitterly.


	40. Last Kiss Taylor Swift

**Last Kiss**

Today had to be one of the worst days ever. If Kenny thought he'd never be just like Stan and turn depressed and emotional over a girl, he was sadly mistaken. It was safe to say that today was probably one of the most terrifying days Kenny has ever lived through.

Damien and he had been having a good time as of late. Kenny's family didn't really know the extent of Damien and his relationship, but that's because sometimes Dana would be there. So they were under the impression that Dana was Kenny's girlfriend. They just thought that Damien was Kenny's friend. And it worked for a while. Until Damien came in one day acting like the world was over.

"What happened to you?" Kenny asked.

"Nothing." Damien muttered. "I just had a terrible dream." He explained.

"You don't sleep." Kenny reminded him.

"Life in Hell gets very boring at times, Ken." Damien explained bitterly. "I have to talk to you." He added as he stood at the door to Kenny's room.

"Come sit, and we can talk about whatever is bothering you." Kenny advised.

"No." Damien said softly.

"Oh, come on. We can just sing about it like we always do. It's been a while since we made up a terrible song." Kenny said as he grinned at him. "We can just—"

"-Kenny I'm breaking up with you."

The room went silent, and Kenny felt a lurch in his belly. He looked at Damien for any sign of a joke.

"What?" Kenny asked as he stood up.

"It's over." Damien explained as he put his hand on the door knob. "My father wanted me to be a man and come tell you. If it were up to me, I would've just left you alone." Damien explained as he opened the door.

"Damien, wait." Kenny said as his hands started to sweat. "Can I at least know why?" he asked.

"Because, I don't want to be with you anymore." Damien said as he backed out of Kenny's room.

"IS there someone else?" Kenny asked feeling a little better. "I really want to know what happened. I have that right." He pointed out as he went near Damien.

"Please, Kenny. Stay back. If you come any closer I'll probably change my mind." He said bitterly.

"Can I know why?" Kenny asked. "Is it because I was a jerk in chapter sixteen? Remember I made up for it in chapter seventeen. We even made love."

"Because I am a Demon. I'm not good for you when you're alive." Damien said bitterly.

"Does this have anything to do with that dream you had today?" Kenny asked.

"You know it." Damien said as he turned to leave.

"D, tell me what happened, and we can talk it out. Then, if you still want to leave, you've got the right of way." Kenny said as he pointed to his bed. "Come sit." He ordered.

Damien closed the door, and walked over to the blond's bed. He sat down with his back to the wall. He didn't want to look at his best friend.

"Talk to me." Kenny said as the numbness started to seep into his body.

"I had a dream that I was sucking all the life force out of you while I was here. I had a dream that you died for the last time, and I wasn't able to be with you because you ended up in a different place. It wasn't Heaven, or hell, it was just a place between planes of existence. I couldn't get to you, and it turns out the reason for that was because I had spent too much time with you hanging out on earth. Since I am primarily here for you, when we are together, I take some of your soul to use as a sort of…, anchor to the world. When I came in the fourth grade, for the first time, you were that anchor. You were the only kid in South Park that died over and over, and had any interaction with my dad. So he was able to direct me and guide me to where I needed to be and what I needed to do to stay on earth for much time. Now it's happening again. Every time I come to earth, I have to anchor myself to this plane of existence by using a soul, and you are that soul. I can't use anyone else, because to do so would mess them up. Just like it's messing you up, as well." Damien explained.

"I don't see how." Kenny said as he wiped a trickle of sweat from his face.

"Don't you ever notice how when I'm around, you get sleepier faster, and your energy depletes at a faster rate?" he asked.

"I thought that was because we were doing more." Kenny said as he wiped his hands on his pants. "I never attributed it to you using my soul as an anchor for yourself." He said trying to stall.

"Well, I don't want to keep doing that. In my dream, I depleted your life force so badly, when you died for the last time, you actually turned into dozens of tiny fragments that I couldn't even save." Damien explained. "That's why I have to go."

"But I don't care." Kenny said softly. "I'm immortal—"

"-and we don't know for how long." Damien said as he stood up again. "I don't know when your last death will be, and if it will be soon, or traumatic, or what." He said as he went towards the door.

"Damien, please stay." Kenny said as he looked on. "Please, just relax. I think you're thinking too much into this." Kenny said as he looked down at his feet.

"Bye, Kenny." Damien said as he waved a finger at Kenny.

Now it was midnight, and Kenny had no clue why he felt this way. His memories had been erased. Damien had blotted himself out of Kenny's memory, and he had been very careful to wipe the memories of all the citizens of South Park. Kenny would be fine without him. His father was currently not speaking to him because he didn't agree with what Damien had done.

"You still hurt the boy, son." Simon said as he looked down at Damien from where he stood in the clearing.

"He can't hurt if he doesn't remember." Damien said as he sat down on a charred log. "He can't hurt if he doesn't know what I took away from him."

"So where did all the time spent with you go then?" Satan asked as he looked down at his son. "He's just going to have blank spaces in his mind, and wonder what he was doing during all that time. Damien, you didn't think this through enough. You didn't erase his memories the right way, and he's going to get hurt. Son, this is all going to come back and bite you in the ass." Satan explained as he turned away. "I'll just leave you here, to think about what you did." He grumbled.

"Okay, old man." Damien said as he watched his father leave.

For the next month and a half, Kenny just did his homework and hung out with his friends like normal. Damien watched in the distance.

Damien was sitting in his room waking from his slumber. He didn't know what he was going to do today. Should he help his father gain more souls for his army? He didn't like doing all the Earthly things he had done in the past. His room was decorated in the style a teenage boy would have it. That was only for Kenny's benefit every time he'd die and come stay with him. Kenny had died and been entertained in Damien's palatial room. Now, he didn't have anyone to entertain. So, he wondered what style he should redo his room in.

He picked up his guitar and started singing. Oh, who was he kidding. He couldn't sing for shit. He technically could, but he wasn't the one who had trained in Europe for it. He was no Kenny. Damien only sang good when he was harmonizing with the blond youth. He heard a commotion somewhere far off, and decided to go see what it was about. He got up and walked out of his room, and into his father's living room. Kenny.

He had died apparently. He had been hit by a bus, and landed up in Satan's mansion. Damien stared at Kenny for a long time, as Kenny tried to get his bearings. Satan directed him right to Damien's room.

"Why does he have to be in my room?" Damien asked five minutes later as he faced his father out in the forest.

"He's a teenager, you're a teenager." Simon said as he grinned at Damien with a toothy grin.

"Fuck you." Damien mumbled.

That night, Kenny and Damien met all over again. Damien reminded Kenny about the one time he had gone to earth, and caused the battle between Good and Evil. Kenny remembered it well. He was able to remember Damien from that, but not anywhere else.

"I'm sorry I landed up here tonight." Kenny said softly. "I didn't mean for any interruption." He explained.

"It doesn't matter." Damien assured him.

"You play guitar?" Kenny asked.

"Sure." Damien said as he wondered where this would lead him.

"How much do you know about current Earth and music." Kenny asked.

"Enough." Damien answered with a wry grin.

"I'll sing, you play?" Kenny asked.

"Nah. I am very depressed right now, and you don't want me to play for you. I'd end up playing very sad songs." Damien mumbled.

"I thought the Devil's son didn't feel emotion?" Kenny asked grinning. "You broken up with someone?" he asked.

"You could say that." Damien said as he felt a pain in his stomach.

"I feel your pain." Kenny said as he sat down on the bean bag chair in front of Damien. Damien was sitting on his four poster bed.

"What happened to you?" Damien asked.

"I think I'm heteroflexible, but mostly I don't date much." Kenny explained. "Kind of depresses me sometimes."

"You'll get over it." Damien said as he took his guitar and started playing.

"You know this song?" Kenny asked.

"Yep." Damien said as he played the intro.

"That makes two of us." Kenny said with a sad smile.

"Don't tell anyone, kid, or I'll set your soul on fire." Damien said as he wiped a tear from his face.

"You can do that?" Kenny asked as Damien kept playing.

"Yes." Damien said as he watched Kenny's next move. Kenny started singing.

"I still remember, the look on your face. Piercing the silence, at four thirty eight. The words that you whispered, for just us to know. You told me you loved me, so why did you go?" As he sang, Damien worked his magic, and gave Kenny vivid flashbacks of their lives together. Kenny's expressions were priceless. Well, they made Damien want to truly spill his feelings out to Kenny.

"I do recall now, the smell of the room. Fresh in my memories, along with the gloom."

Damien interrupted. "That fateful night, the beat of my heart. It jumps through my shirt, hope you still feel my arms."

Kenny took up the next part as he felt tears fill his eyes. "Now I'll go, sit somewhere where no one else goes. All that I know is I don't, know. What it is that is amiss. Never thought I'd have my last. Kiss."

Kenny and Damien sang together. "Never imagined I'd feel, like, this! Your soul, forever the one that I'll miss."

Damien started to sing as he continued to place Kenny through all those memories of themselves. "I do remember, the swing in your step. The life of the party. You're showing off again! And I roll my eyes, as you pull me in. I'm not much for romance, but for you I did."

"I said I loved your handshake, meeting my mother. I love how you walk with, your hands in your pockets. How you pantsed me when I was, in the middle of doing something."

"I really hope you don't miss, those rude interruptions. Now I'll go." Damien had finished and taken over that last bit, and they jumped into a chorus once more.

"Sit somewhere where no one else goes. All that I know is, I don't know. What it is that is amiss. Never thought we'd have a last. Kiss. Never imagined I'd feel, like, this! Your soul, forever the one that I'll miss."

Kenny and Damien were now crying as Damien's guitar playing got loud and they reached the bridge of the song. Damien's turn to sing. Kenny was harmonizing with the Demon.

"Now I'll watch your life in pictures, like I used to watch you sleep. And I feel you forget me, like I used to feel you breathe." Damien sang softly as Kenny stopped harmonizing, and the guitar strings went down a notch. "I should keep up with our old friends, just to ask them, how you are. I know it's nice where you are."

Damien watched as Kenny began to sing the last part. All the while tears rolling down his face. "Whenever the sun shines, and it's a beautiful day, I hope something reminds you. You wish you had stayed." Kenny couldn't keep going, so he let Damien take over.

"I didn't plan on, making you cry, but not letting go would mean you'd probably die."

There was a huge pause where you could hear a pen drop. Kenny and Damien just stared at each other. Kenny started softly.

"So I'll go, sit somewhere where no one else goes. All that I know is I don't know. Why you think things are amiss. Never thought I'd have my last. Kiss."

Damien and Kenny harmonized again. "Never imagined it'd be, like, this! Your soul, forever the one that I'll miss. Forever the one that I'll miss. Forever the one that I'd miss. Hope this'll pass."

"Damien?" Kenny whispered. "Please come back. I don't care if you're a Demon. I just want things to be the way they used to be. I'm almost graduating, and it would mean the world to me if I had you there." Kenny said softly. "If this was dangerous, your dad would've warned us by now." He begged.

"I can't do that, Kenny." Damien said softly. "I can't do that. I would never forgive myself if one day, you die, and you don't come back to Earth, and it's because of me." He explained softly.

"Damien, I really truly am in love with you." Kenny whispered.

"I love you too, Kenny." Damien said softly as he watched Kenny fading.

"Come back." Kenny pleaded. "Come back?!"

He stretched out his arms as he faded. Soon, Damien was left with the memory of the boy, as he vanished. He had returned to earth.


	41. Hurt (Christina Aguilera)

Ballad To Miss Powers

The next week was slow and uneventful. Kenny was glad he had gotten his memories back. He could remember Damien once again. He could feel the pain of their break up, instead of wondering where all that missing time had gone.

"Kenny, may I see you in my office tomorrow at ten fifteen in the morning?" He was on the phone with his middle school principle. He sighed.

"I don't go to school there. There's nothing you can do to me. I cleaned out my locker, and I cleaned the stall in the boys room where I drew a picture of you with balls on your chin." He explained.

"You drew what, young man?" she asked.

"Oh…, you're looking for Kenny! This is Lenny! Wait, I'll get him." He said as he made noise to try and pretend like he was doing something.

"Stop it, Kenny, I know it's you." Said the lady sadly. "I really need you to come to my office for something tomorrow. I even asked your teachers if you'd be allowed out. They said yes." She explained.

"What?" Kenny moaned. "What do you want from me?" he asked.

"I want you to come see me at my office at ten fifteen tomorrow. I am counting on you. No questions asked, no nothing. I'll see you then." She said as she hung up.

"Fuck." Kenny muttered.

Damien appeared as Dana on his door step that night. There had been a knock at his door, and his mom had answered him. Kenny could hear very plainly as her pixie voice asked for him.

"Kenny, it's your girlfriend!" his mom had shouted at the top of her lungs.

Kenny practically flew at his best friend as he saw her framing the door way. He smiled as he took her hand. "Come in!" he shouted as he hugged her.

Dana didn't turn away. She hugged him too, and they both kissed.

"Take that to your room sport." Kevin said as Karen pretended to gag.

"Leave eem alone!" his mother said bitterly. "He ain't seen her in a long tahm you two." She said as she hugged Dana. "Yuh stayin' fer dinner?" she asked.

"You bet." Dana said smiling. "I brought food for all of us, it's in my purse. Mind if I go put stuff away, Kenny? No, he doesn't mind. Come on Mrs. McCormick. Kenny, go to your room, and I'll be there soon." She said as she grabbed Karol's arm and they both walked into the kitchen.

Kenny was in his room and five minutes later, Dana came walking in. She was smiling at him.

"You have a nice mom." She said as she closed the door.

They both hugged each other again, and Dana turned into Damien in Kenny's presence. Kenny was smiling as he kissed the Demon gently.

"Hey, dude. You wanna play some video games?" he asked. "I know you did all your homework, and I wondered if you wanted to play."

"Wait." Kenny said. He told Damien about the call he'd received from his old principal.

"Can you try to find out what's going on with that?" he asked.

"No. I am not going to go all the way over to her house, and read her mind so you can figure out why she wants you." Damien said bitterly. "I hear your mom, I'm turning back into Dana." He whispered as he changed.

The next day Kenny drove to his middle school. He was right on time, and he went into the waiting room with no problem. The principal was waiting for him.

"Kenny, please come into my office." She said as she led Kenny inside.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Kenny, sit down. I have some terrible things to tell you."

"Did you finally find the remains of that frog I mummified?" he asked. "Was it gross?"

"Kenny, eeeeeewww." She moaned. "We'll talk about that, later young man. Right now I have something more serious to talk to you about." She explained.

"What could be more serious than that?" he asked. "Unless you found out me and Eric slashed your tires in the eighth grade as a prank." He gasped.

"Thanks for that, Kenneth, I'll be sure to call the cops with that confession." She said bitterly. "No. It's not for those reasons. Before I move on, is there any other crime you would like to confess to?" she asked.

"No." he said giggling.

"Good. Because I have to let you know that Miss Powers has passed away." She explained.

"Oh my God." Kenny gasped as he stared at her. "But that can't be! I talked to her last week! She was at conferences! I told her I was sorry because I couldn't go see her! I chose video games over her." He whispered as his eyes filled with tears.

"She had some complications with her cancer, and she passed away." The principal said softly.

"No." Kenny whispered as tears filled his eyes.

"I called you because I know how good of a singer you are, and I wanted you to sing a song at her memorial." She said softly.

"Fine. Sure." Kenny said numbly.

The memorial for Deirdre Powers was held two weeks later at Park Middle School. It was one of Kenny's many sad times of life. He didn't even know what he was going to sing. He had wasted all his time thinking that maybe it was just a dream.

"And now, to sing a special concluding song for her, here is one of her many students. Kenny McCormick." The principal announced.

Kenny took the stage, and started playing the piano. He was crying, and the song hadn't even started all the way yet.

"Seems like it was yesterday, that I saw your face. You told me how proud you were, with a touch of grace. If only I knew, what I know today.

"I would hold on to the words, that you tried so hard to say! Thank you for all you've done! Forgive all my mistakes! There's nothing I wouldn't do. To hear your voice again. To learn the things you taught me, when I was yours back then!

"Oh! I'm sorry for! Blaming you! For all the things, I just wouldn't do! I hurt myself, by hurting you!

"Somehow I just can't believe, that you've gone away. Right now I wish you were here, so that I could say. It's so hard to say good bye, I wish you had stayed. Ooooooo!

"Would you tell me I was wrong, or just help me understand? Are you looking down up on me? On the spot in which I stand?

"There's nothing I wouldn't do! To have just one more chance! To hear what you would tell me, and know I understand!

"Oooo! I'm sorry for! Blaming you! For all the things, I just wouldn't do! I hurt myself…, oooo!

"If I had just one more chance! I would try to make sure that I listened when you begged me, please. Oooo, it's dangerous. So much of life is wasted, as a kid.

"I'm sorry for! Blaming you! For all the things, I just wouldn't do. And I've hurt myself…, by hurting you."

He dried his eyes, and bowed to the audience. He stepped down after all the applause. He went back to sit with his family, and held Karen's hand the rest of the time. The service would be over soon.


	42. Wiggle (Jason Derulo)

Wiggle?

Babe was laughing so hard as Kenny and the rest of the boys came walking into the parking lot of the school. They had just gotten out of their last class. Wendy was angry, while Bebe was laughing very hard.

"What happened to her?" Kenny asked.

"She's upset because Jason Derulo just put out a new single." Bebe said as she walked away.

"Uh, do you hate him that much?" Kyle asked as they all piled into Stan's car.

"Stan can I get a ride?" Wendy asked bitterly.

"Sure. We won't even play Jason Derulo." Stan said as he got into the car.

"It's not Jason that makes me angry!" she shouted bitterly. "It's that stupid song he put out!"

"What's the reason one single song's got you all bent out of shape?" Kyle asked as he looked over at her as they all piled into the car.

"It's another song about butts." Kenny said as he looked over at Wendy as Stan started the car.

"Music is going to shit!" she shouted bitterly.

Kenny smiled as he looked over at her. The rest of the time they all drove off and dropped everyone off.

"I think I know what to give Wendellin." Kenny said smiling at Stan and Kyle as they drove back to the Marsh house.

Kenny stood at Wendy's door the next day. He had a piece of paper in his hand. He knocked.

"What?" asked a voice. "I can see your shadow Kenny." Wendy said from inside the house.

"Open the door, hon'. I've got a surprise for you."

Kenny waited. The door opened, and he walked in. He didn't say a thing as he sat down on the couch. "Are we feeling better today?" he asked.

"Fine." She said bitterly. "I feel fine."

"Good. I have a surprise for you." He said as he looked into her eyes. "Want to come with me and join the party at Stan's place?" he asked.

"No." she said sighing. "I have a lot of homework to do." She said as she hung her head.

"Just come on." He said as they both went to the door.

Fifteen minutes later they were all at Stan's house. He was passing out pizza on paper plates. Kyle was eating a salad.

"Why did you drown it in ranch?" asked Kenny as he took Kyle's fork and dipped it in. He took a mouthful of salad and gave Kyle back his silver wear.

The Karaoke machine was set up.

"Kenny, you didn't drag me here so you could sing." Wendy moaned. "Did you?" she asked.

"Maybe…." Kenny said as he looked over at her.

Five minutes later the song started.

"I'm out of here!" Wendy shouted as she stood up.

"No, wait. I made this for you." Kenny said as he started to pretend to cry.

"Yo, Kenny! Say something to 'em. Holler at 'em." Stan said as Kenny stood next to him in front of the mic stand.

"I got one question." Kenny said smiling as he grabbed Wendy and pulled her up to stand with them on the make shift stage. "How long do you think it took, to fit all that, into a three minute time span?" he asked.

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle." Stan and Kenny said at the same time.

"It's just another song about big fat butts!" Kenny sang.

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle." Stan and Kenny said in a whispered tone. They repeated this two more times. "Just a little bit." Kenny and Stan started dancing with Wendy in the center. She looked mortified.

"Do you think it's okay if I ask. How long do you think it took him to grasp. The ideas for this song, that he had. It's all about butts, that makes me sad. God dammit! This song I just can't stand it! He talks about ham sandwich! It just doesn't fit, dammit! Just another song about big fat butts."

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle." Kenny and Stan started singing again. They repeated the phrase some more. "Just a little bit."

Kenny started up again as Stan spun Wendy around. "Next he goes on to talk about cars. He wrote all his lyrics on index cards. He has no lyrics to fling at you. So he just makes up songs with butts and food. God dammit, this guy's career face planted. All he eats is ham sandwich. Then he writes some songs about big fat butts."

Kenny and Stan started up again. "Wiggle wiggle wiggle." They repeated this some more as Wendy laughed and they all danced.

"Trash what this singer gave you. It won't save you. This song is about to make him break him rattle snake him. Suddenly we're talking about, daddies and rain drops? Cuz kids are willing, kids are wanting, they think it's cool. Completely frustrated, and the lyrics are debated. He just took it out and put it bac. Read it, take it, love it, hate it. Over stated, under rated, every word they sing. Then they ask if you can wiggle for them maybe once again?"

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle." Kenny and Stan whispered again as Wendy was spun through the air. They repeated this line again a few more times.

"Come on, Jason! Put it down. Just retire. Just get out. Just get out just get out. There's one thing that's, killing me! Why'd you make songs about butts. This song's just about food and big fat butts."

"Wiggle wiggle wiggle." Kenny and Stan whispered as the rest of the people laughed.


	43. Let Her Go (Passenger)

**Drop Your Phone**

Kyle Kenny and Stan were sitting in Kyle's living room doing their homework. The door opened, and in came Sheila and her husband.

"Hello boys." She said as she walked past them with the groceries. "Ike, Kyle, will you two please help yuh father and I with the groceries?" she asked.

"Not now, mom. I'm about to discover a new planet on the map!" Ike blurted as he concentrated on the image in his telescope.

"I'll help." Kyle and Kenny both said at the same time.

"By the way, Ike, that discovery you're about to make?" Kenny said as he looked at his fingers which were covered in pretzel dust. "It's just a stain on your lens. I accidentally touched it when I went to look through the telescope when you went to take a pee last." He explained.

"I hate you, Kenny." Ike said as he stood up and gathered his telescope to inspect it.

"Don't be sad, little brother." Kyle said as they all went into the kitchen. "I'm sure you'll find something someday. You'll be famous for something, you'll see."

"Hey, mom?" Ike asked as he helped put away the food. "I was wondering, can I have your upgrade for my phone?" he asked.

"You just upgraded four months ago, Bubby." Sheila said as she looked at him quizzically.

"Yeah. I kind of broke my phone." Ike muttered. "I don't have insurance either." He muttered.

"Isaac, what were you doing?" Gerald asked as he rounded on his son.

"I was going to the bathroom, and after I went to wash my hands, my device fell into the toilet." Muttered Ike as he blushed.

"Ike, we only have two more upgrades left." Kyle chastised. "I just gave you my upgrade to fix your phone the last time you broke it." Kyle explained.

"You mean to tell me that you've gone through two smart phones in a six month period?" Gerald asked.

"When you say it like that, it sounds so negative." Ike muttered as he hid his face.

"Ike, we are not made of money!" Gerald scolded. "What if your mom and I break our phones?" he asked.

"You guys aren't that clumsy. You're grownups." Ike muttered. "Please, mom? Dad? I really am sorry I broke it." He moaned. "Can I have one of the upgrades?" he asked.

"Fine, Isaac." Sheila said bitterly. "You can take mine." She muttered.

"What did you do to all your phones?" asked Stan as they all journeyed up to Kenny's room.

"The one I had before I used my actual upgrade had a cracked screen. Then I upgraded, and I broke the phone by stepping on it. You know how cheap the IPhone sixes are. Then I got Kyle's upgrade, and I dropped that one down the toilet." He explained.

"Ike you are such a lame-o." Kyle moaned as he looked at his brother. "You mean to tell me that you have no phone right now?" he asked.

"Yep." Ike said as he frowned pitifully.

Kenny got on Stan's laptop and found an instrumental for a song he had in mind. The group around him moaned.

"are you going to sing, Kenny?" Kyle asked bitterly.

"Not this song." Stan moaned. "It's too sad."

"I just hate it because it's over played." Ike muttered.

"Has anyone seen Cartman?" asked Kenny as he got ready to sing.

They all shook their heads no.

"Sitting in the middle of your class. Thinking one day you'll make a phone last. The phones are slow. And they die so fast.

"You see it when you close your eyes. Maybe one day you'll understand why. Every phone you buy, surely dies.

"Yeah, you only need the light when it's burning low. Only need the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you need it when you break your phone. Only know you've been high when you're feeling low! Only hate the road when you're missing home. Only know you need it when you break your phone.

"Sitting in your class with empty hands. Wondering if the guys have any plans. Cause your phone is broke, and you can't text Stan. Well, you think you heard a tiny beep. No it's not your phone, you're phone's in the street. Cause you tossed it too far, and the fall was steep."

This time everyone started to sing. "Well you only need the light when it's burning low. Only miss the sun when it starts to snow. Only know you need it when you break your phone. Only know you've been high when you're feeling low! Only hate the road when you're missing home! Only know you need it when you drop your phone! When you drop your phone. Oh oh! Drop your phone."


	44. Beam Me Up (Pnk)

**Beam Me Up**

Damien slipped into Earth looking for some way to hang out with Kenny. He had been a little more lax lately about using Kenny as an anchor for his body on Earth. However, right now Kenny was at work. So Damien appeared on Kenny's door step and almost turned back. He was stopped by a muffled sound. It sounded like someone was crying. He felt a little lurch in his belly, and attributed it to feeling bad for whoever was crying. He used his powers to look into the house, and found Karen up in her room curled up in a ball crying on her bed. He knocked on the door. He was able to read the thought that maybe if she ignored whoever it was they would just go away. But Damien didn't. He knocked on the window, and saw Karen appear out of the shadows.

"Let me in." he commanded.

"Kenny's not here." She muttered.

"I didn't come here to see Kenny." He explained. "I came for you."

"Ugh. Fine." She said as she opened her window a little wider. Damien looked at her quizzically. "Change into an animal, and come on. I'm not going down stairs." She complained.

Damien changed into a black cat, and slid in through her window. He landed on her bed on his back. She closed her window.

"I know about you. I also know about you and Kenny." She muttered.

Damien didn't say anything. He just lay there, unable to come up with an idea of what to say.

Karen came over to him, and picked him up. She buried her face in his fur, and Damien could feel his chest getting wet where she was crying. He nuzzled her with his head, and she stroked him. He jumped out of her arms and changed back into his normal self.

"What's with you?" he asked.

"I don't know." She muttered. "I woke up like this. Then everything started going wrong. My homework was turned in wrong, and I got an A minus. My brother washed my special shirt with a red towel, and it got all messed up. We ran out of good cereal." She took a break to let out a really big sob. "I got stuck after school helping the teacher clean the dry erase boards." She sobbed.

"Karen, this is a load of bull shit." Damien said bitterly. "You and I both know that it's not the shirt, the cereal, the homework, or the cleaning that's got you all messed up. Tell me what happened." He pried.

"I don't know, Damien." She sobbed. "I just told you. I woke up like this. Everything and everyone has been irritating me today." She sobbed. "I thought if I took a nap, I'd wake up and feel better. I took my nap, and I woke up feeling mad still." She grumbled.

"I'm sorry." Damien said as he took the fifteen year old in his arms.

"Kenny won't be here for another four hours." She muttered.

"I think I'm here for you today." Damien said as he stroked her hair.

"I thought the Devil's son didn't show emotion." She muttered.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Damien said as he smiled down at Karen. "Your brother has taught me to open up just enough." Damien explained.

"Cool." Karen said as she laid her head comfortably on Damien's chest. "Can I tell you the truth?" she asked.

"Tell me the truth." Damien requested softly.

"There's this girl at my school named Shelby. She's so mean to me. She does things just to spite me. Do you know what she did today? She took my book report, and erased her name, and put my name on hers. She turned them both in, and I got an A minus." Karen moaned. "She got a D, but that's not the point. If I go tell the teacher she did it, she'd just deny it, and I have no proof." Karen started to cry again.

"This is when you started to get mad?" Damien asked.

"Yeah." Karen sobbed.

"I see." Damien said as he held her gently. "I'm sorry, Karen." He said softly. "It's not forever." He explained.

"That's what Ruby said." She muttered as she sat there crying. "It's not that it's forever. I just swore I wouldn't be spending a whole nother year with her in class, and look where I am." She muttered.

"I'm sorry. I know how tough that can be." He said softly.

"You? What do you know? You're Satan's son. You don't have any emotion." She said as she tried to pull away.

"I do." Damien said softly. "I have anger and sadness, and joy. You know what, I have those bad days too. One thing gets me, and suddenly everything irritates the crap out of me."

"I want to eat a lot of food." Karen muttered. "But I know that won't work. I ate a chocolate bar and it just felt empty and hollow." She muttered.

"I'm sorry." Damien said softly.

"Damien?" Karen asked as she looked up into his eyes. "Do you have faith in anything?" she asked.

"Yes." Damien said as he looked at her and smiled. "I believe in a higher power. I believe in God."

"Have you seen God?" she asked.

"No. No one has." He said softly. "It's just a voice."

"How can you believe in God if you're a Hellion?" she asked.

"Honey, every being is a being of faith. People are persons of faith. If any being is sentient enough, they have faith." He explained.

"Cool." Karen said as she closed her eyes.

"Can I sing you a song that I like to sing when I'm upset?" he asked.

"Sure." She muttered.

"You sit here, and I'll get my guitar out of the closet." He said as he put Karen down on the bed.

"Dana." Karen said as Dana appeared with a guitar in her hands.

"I sing better with this voice. Trust me." She said as she sat in the bean bag chair. "Come sit with me." She coaxed.

Karen sat on the slender girl's lap, and the guitar rested on Karen's chest. Dana started playing.

"There's a whole nother kind of bonding going on. In a parallel universe. Where no one gets there feelings hurt. There's a waltz playing frozen in time. Dancing lightly on top of your feet. I look at you, and you're looking at me."

Karen and Dana sang the next part. Karen had tears streaming down her face again. The tears were wetting the strings of Dana's guitar. "Could you beam me up! Give me a minute! I don't know what I'd say in it. I'd probably just stare! Happy just to be there wrapped in your faith! Beam me up! Let me be lighter. Tired of being a fighter. I think…, a minute's enough. Just beam me up."

Dana sang the next verse. Karen's sobs progressively getting louder as Dana sang and played. "Some rain drops floating in the sky. I took a breath as one hit my eye. Tell me that was you, wanting to cry. There are times it feels like my soul is cold. It only happens when I feel alone. Please come and tell me I'm not alone."

Karen and Dana sang the next verse. It was a lot harder for Karen this time, as she was visibly shaking with grief. "Could you beam me up!? Give me a minute! I don't know what I'd say in it. I'd probably just stare! Happy just to be there rapped in your faith. Beam me up! Let me be lighter! Tired of being a fighter. I think…, a minute's enough. Just beam me up."

Dana took up the last part of the song. "In my head, your eyes are baby blue. I hear your voice and I…, I break in two. Hope there's one of me with you. So when I need you can I send you a sign? I'll burn a candle and turn off the light. Then pick a star and watch you shine." By this time, Karen was too emotional to sing with her, so Dana just sang the last part of the song herself. "Could you beam me up!? Give me a minute. I don't know what I'd say in it. I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there rapped in your faith. Beam me up! Let me be lighter. Tired of being a fighter. I think…, a minute's enough. Just beam me up."

"Oh, Damien!" Karen sobbed as she curled up in Dana's arms.

Dana planted her instrument back in the closet for now, and turned back into Damien. He gathered Karen up in his arms, and kissed her forehead. "I love you, Karen." He whispered.

"Me too." She sobbed.

"Go to sleep, darling love." He whispered. "I'll watch you, and no one will bother you. When you wake up, I promise you'll feel better." He said as he held her tightly.

"What if I don't?" she asked.

"I know you will." He said softly as he kissed her forehead again.

"Will you hold me the whole time?" she asked through a sob.

"I will hold you the whole time." He promised.

She slept for that whole night. True to his word, Damien stayed with her and watched her sleep. Kenny came home, and Damien told him to go sleep with Kevin on the couch. He explained the situation to Kenny, and Kevin and he slept on the couch with no objections. And that's how the night went.


	45. Sweet Pea (Amos Lee)

**Mommy**

Today was going to be a good day. Kevin, Kenny and Karen woke up extra early, and made their mother a breakfast. It was mothers' day today, and they wanted to show her how much she meant to them.

For all her faults, Carol McCormick was getting her life together. She had a job, unlike Stu. She was also very nice to her children, and made sure she was able to stay home if one of them was sick. She really did deserve a good mothers' day. She wasn't expecting it, of course.

"Ready?" asked Karen as she grabbed the tray and they went into their mothers' room.

"Heya kids." She said as she wiped sleep from her eyes. "Ah be right there in a minute." She said with her usual Texan twang. "Ah can make breakfast as soon as ah get dressed." She declared.

"Nah. We already took care of that." Kevin informed.

"are yuh feelin' all right?" she asked.

"Yes." They all answered smiling.

She finally looked up long enough to see what was in Karen's hands. She gasped. "What's all this?" she asked.

"Happy mothers' day." They all said at the same time.

Karen placed the food on her mother's lap. Carol was smiling as tears fell from her eyes. Kenny and his siblings all smiled.

"Yuh didn't have to, yuh know." She said smiling at them.

"Just like you don't have to do most of the things you do for us." Karen said as she leaned forward and put a straw in her mother's hot chocolate. That was her favorite drink.

"Thank you." She said smiling up at them.

"We brought you some flowers." Kenny said placing the vase on the box next to her bed serving as a night stand.

"They're precious, Kenny." She said smiling.

"We even practiced a song for you." Kevin said bitterly. "Kenny and Karen here made a fool of me practicing it nonstop." He informed.

"They sing pretty good for a choir." Kenny said smiling. "Ready, you two?" he asked.

They all started snapping their fingers, and Kevin and Karen started to hum in a nice tone.

"Mommy! Please try not to cry. Don't know when and I don't know why. You're the only reason, we keep on coming home." Kenny sang as his choir backed him up. "Mommy! Look at how we shout. Don't get our way, all we do is fuss and pout. But you're the only reason, we keep on coming home. We're all like rocks of Gibraltar. We always seem to falter, attitudes just get in the way. Oh, we know we make you crumble, and you just stay humble. Oh, we, never think before we say. Mommy, keeper of our souls. We know sometimes, we're out of control. You're the only reason we keep on coming…, you're the only reason we'll keep on coming…, you're the only reason…, we keep on coming home." At the end, they all let out a whoop, and bowed.

Carol was crying by now, and she was wiping at her eyes with her breakfast napkin. She smiled up at them, and shook her head.

"Yuh always amaze me." She commented.

"Did you like it?" Kevin asked.

"Ah did." She said smiling. "It's as good a thank yuh as ah'm ever gon' get." She said as they all burst into laughter.


	46. One More Night (Maroon5)

**One More Time**

Cartman and the rest of the clan were sitting on the grass eating lunch at Park High. It was nearing graduation, and teachers were asking students to finish all work in order to have it graded in time. Cartman was the only one of their little group struggling. He was trying to persuade Kyle and/or Kenny to help him with the history project he had to do. They were both pretty angry about it, and Kyle was reluctant.

"Please, Kal?" Cartman asked as he took a handful of fries and dumped them into Kyle's plate.

"No." Kyle said bitterly.

"If Kinny helps me with my Philosophy, would you help me with my Math?" he asked.

"Ho! Hold on a second there, buddy boy!" Kenny said as Kyle choked on his food. "You just said you needed help with History. Now all of a sudden you need help with Math, and philosophy too?" he asked.

"He asked me for help with Chemistry just two hours ago." Wendy informed.

"And!" Butters piped. "He asked me for help with his literature class."

"Cartman how behind are you, exactly?" asked Kyle bitterly.

The whole group was puzzled when they saw the chart outlining all the work Cartman had to do. All of them were just flabbergasted.

"Dude, you have two and a half weeks to complete two and a half months' worth of work." Kenny said softly.

"I'm out." Kyle said as he grabbed his stuff and stood up.

"No! Kal, please!" shouted Cartman as he stood up to try and stop the red head. "I really need this!" he moaned.

"I hate you!" Kyle shouted stomping his foot. "Why in hell would I want to help you?" he asked.

"Because…, because…," Cartman was stumped. "I guess you wouldn't." he muttered.

"Oh, Cartman." Kyle groaned. "Fine." He said as he sat back down. "Fine. Fine. This means putting in work on weekends, you know." He explained.

"If Kyle is in, I'm in." Wendy said softly.

"I'm in." Butters and Stan said at the same time.

"I guess I have no choice." Kenny said as he tucked Cartman's chart into his pocket.

"I need that." Cartman muttered.

"Nah. I'm going to make copies of it, and we'll all figure out how to coordinate the studying." Kenny said as he started eating again.

"Wait!" Kyle shouted as he stood there livid. "How do we know Cartman is going to be serious about this?" he asked.

"I'm really serious." He said bitterly. "I need to graduate." He explained. "If I'm not serious, then you guys can stop tutoring me for the rest of the time, and let me sink or swim on my own."

"Fine." Kyle said as he took out a pen. "Sign here." He said as he dug into Kenny's bag and took out the chart.

All of them signed the chart, and then, the surprising thing happened. Kyle took out an ink pad, and made Cartman provide a thumb print on that same piece of paper. Soon, it was all settled.

"I hate him." Said Kyle after they all dispersed. Cartman was going to his class, and the others had release.

"How badly do you hate him?" Kenny asked.

"Bad." Kyle said as he and the rest of the crew walked back to Kyle's house.

"It's Dame!" shouted Stan as he spotted the figure sitting on Kyle's garden wall.

"Yeah…, don't call me that." Damien said as they all piled out of the truck.

"What's going on with you?" Damien asked the crowd at large.

They all related to him what had happened with Cartman. Damien was pretty surprised.

"I'll help." He explained.

"You cannot magic the knowledge into his head." Kyle warned.

"I wasn't going to." Damien said as he and the rest of the kids walked on to the house. "I have rules you know."

"Well, fine then." Kyle muttered.

Everyone sat down as Kyle got them all food and drinks. Damien had a guitar in his hands and was starting to play.

"What are you doing?" Kyle asked.

"Sing with me." Damien requested. "Or rather, for me." He amended.

"No. It's food time." Stan said bitterly.

"Isn't your rage at Cartman making you want to sing?" he asked.

"Fine." Kenny said as he cleared his throat.

"You and I go hard, at each other like we're going to war. You and I go rough, I can't help you do your homework no more. You and I get so damn dysfunctional we fight in the store. Bro you make me sick, yeah I know that we can't do this no more, more."

Kyle took up the next verse. "But Cartman there you go again there you go again making me help you. Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go through. Got you stuck on my schedule, on my schedule, every day at two. And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, cuz I'm helping you."

The five of them started to sing the chorus as Damien played. "So I cross my heart and I hope to die! That I'll only tutor you one more time! Oh, I know I said it a million times! But I'll only tutor you one more time!"

Wendy took up the next verse. It was amazing how much she had grown into a tolerable singing voice. "Tried to tell you no, but my conscience keeps on telling you yes. Told you, "Go kick rocks." But your dumb shit has me so damn distressed. I'll be waking up, in the morning probably hating myself. I'd be waking up, feeling grumpy, mad, and guilty as hell. Yeah, yeah."

Kenny took up the verse that was supposed to belong to Stan. He still had not developed a singing voice. "Now Cartman there you go again, there you go again, making me help you. Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go through. So we'll sit in my bedroom, in my bedroom, every night 'til two. Oh, oh. And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, cuz I'm helping you! Helping you!"

All the kids started singing again. "So I cross my heart and I hope to die! Oh oh oh oh. Oh oh oh oh. That I'll only tutor you one more time! And I know I've said it a million times! But I'll only tutor you one more time!"

The clan started singing and pop swooping at random. "I'll tutor you just one more night!"


	47. Want You Back (Cher Lloyd)

**Bring Us Back**

Kenny was coming home from work one day, and Kevin was sitting in the kitchen on the counter. He was holding a bag of frozen vegetables to his face. Kenny gasped as he saw his brother sitting there.

"What happened to you?" Kenny asked as he gently extracted the bag from Kevin's grip.

"Karen happened to me. She's really upset, and I don't know why. I tried to talk to her but she got all…, violent on me." He explained as he looked down at his chest. Kenny looked down too and saw the blood dried on his shirt.

"Did you hit her?" he asked as he grabbed Kevin by the shoulders.

"That's from my nose bleed, dumbass." Kevin blurted bitterly. "I would never hit a girl." He proclaimed as he took back the ice pack. "I thought Damien worked it out last week." He muttered.

"Well, maybe not." Kenny muttered as he walked off. "I'ma go try and talk to her." He said as he left.

"Good luck." Kevin muttered as he watched his brother leave.

Sure enough, when Kenny got to the closed door, he could hear the faint sounds of sobbing into a pillow. He tentatively knocked on the door.

"Go away Kevin." She said bitterly.

"It's the other K brother." Kenny said as he gently opened the door.

There was a blur as Karen ran at him and suddenly there was a loud noise in his ear. He screamed as she blew the air horn in his ear, and slammed the door in his face. Kenny was gasping as he stared at the door and held his ear with one hand.

"Karen…, what the hell is your problem?" he asked.

"Fuck you!" she shouted.

"What?" Kenny and Kevin said at the same time. Kevin had come up behind him when he heard the sound of the air horn.

"You heard me!" she shouted.

"Karen, open this door, right now." Kenny said bitterly.

"No!" she shouted.

"I'll break it down. Remember what happened the last time I broke it down. We didn't have money for a replacement for six months." Kenny reminded. "I'm not afraid to do that again." He explained.

The door opened as Karen stared down at the floor. "What do you want?" she asked.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked bitterly.

"You don't care." She muttered. "I'm trying to sleep, so if you don't mind…."

Kenny pushed passed the door and dragged Karen in with him and sat on the bed.

"I'd love to babysit this monster," Kevin said as he heard his phone ringing in the kitchen. "But I have to go take this call." He said as he walked away.

"Bye." Kenny said as he closed the door. "Will you please tell me what's going on?" he asked.

"Kenny, I just want to be left alone." She said bitterly. "All right?"

"Karen, I thought you talked with Damien about this. I thought he helped you get over whatever it was you were dealing with."

"There's the problem!" Karen shouted bitterly. "Whatever it was I was dealing with. You didn't even bother to ask Damien what I was going through, did you, Kenny?" she asked.

"Well…, no." Kenny said softly. "I thought D was dealing with it."

"Well…, K, that's the problem." She said mockingly. "You don't even give two shits about me anymore. Ever since Damien came into your life, you don't care about what happens to me. Kevin got a girlfriend, you got a boyfriend—"

"—What!?" Kenny interrupted. "Damien is not—"

"—He is Dana. I know all about Damien, and Hell, and Satan, and all that super natural mumbo jumbo." She said bitterly. "You're gay. You can stop hiding it now."

Kenny just stared. He didn't even know what to say. "Uh." Was all he could come up with. "I'm sorry." He said blankly.

Karen threw herself at him and started punching his chest furiously. "Fuck! (Punch) You! (Punch) I! (Punch slap) Hate! (Slap punch) You!" she shouted as she proceeded to pull furiously on Kenny's locks of golden hair.

"Kar- Karen!" he shouted trying to get her off of him. "Karen, stop!" he shrieked. "You weirdo, stop!" he shouted.

"No!" she screamed. "You deserve every bit of pain you get!" she shouted. "Do you know I'm being bullied at school, Kenny!?" she asked. "Does Mysterion know I'm being bullied at school? Or is he too busy being fucked in the ass by Satan's son?" she asked.

"Karen." Kenny gasped as a chill ran down his back.

"Ever since I was little, my guardian angel has always been Mysterion. He's been there for all kinds of people. That's what drew me to him. Guess what, Kenny? Two years ago I was getting all the dirty clothing ready for washing. I found one of your Mysterion suits bloody and ripped in a pile of clothing. I found you out. I thought it was the sweetest thing. I thought, "Oh, hey! My big brother loves me! He'll always protect me, and take care of me, and defend me." Well, guess what buster? I'm being bullied at school, and you're not doing anything about it!" she shrieked. "Do you know, that day when Damien came to talk with me, I almost killed myself?" she asked bitterly.

"Karen." Kenny gasped as tears filled his eyes. "I wish you'd told me." He whispered.

"No, Kenny! I wish you'd asked me! Didn't you ever once wonder why I was so quiet for the past two months? Didn't you once ever wonder why there was two packets of heroin in my backpack? Didn't you once ever wonder if I was getting good grades and doing fine on my school work?" she asked. "No. Kevin and you are all wrapped up in the sex of a new relationship. Mom and dad are barely conscious of their decisions in life, and I'm left alone. To die. TO rot. TO get beaten up daily!" she shouted.

Kenny just stared. "Karen, I had no idea." He whispered as he felt tears running down his cheeks.

"No! You had no fucking idea." She said as she tugged on his hair once again. "You had no clue what was going on with me. You never once tried to find out. I could be dead for all you know." She muttered as she started wrapping her fingers around his throat.

Before Kenny could do anything, he was starting to lose vision. He couldn't breathe. He tried to get his sister off of him, but he had no luck. He screamed inside of him as his oxygen levels depleted. Soon, he was out cold. He wondered if Karen had actually killed him.

"I'm talking to you!" Okay, so she hadn't killed him. But she came mighty close.

"What?" he asked as he opened his eyes. "Karen, what the hell has gotten into you?" he asked.

Karen took the turtle neck she was wearing off. Kenny was shocked by the exposure of her c cup breasts. But more importantly, he was shocked by all the bruises and cuts littering her body. He gasped as he saw the reason she wore the turtle neck. There were finger marks all over her neck from what looked like someone trying to strangle her. He screamed. It was like looking at something from a horror movie.

"What the hell is going on here?!" he shouted as he started to rise from the bed. "Karen!" he screamed. "I'm having a nightmare! Wake me up! Fucking wake me up!" he shouted.

"Oh no, big brother. This is all too real." She said softly as she held her arms out for him to see all the bruises. "This is all…, too…, real." She explained.

Kenny was crying as he stared at his little sister. He didn't know what to say.

"So much for Mysterion always protecting me." She spat. "Fucking sell out. Fucking piece of shit. I should've strangled you when I had the chance. You'd at least come back tomorrow. If I die, Kenny, I don't come back!" she shouted as she grabbed Kenny by the neck again and squeezed. "I…, don't…, come…, back!" she shouted as she increased the pressure on his throat.

Kenny was wide eyed as he lay there under the increasing oxygen loss as his sister vented all her frustrations out on him. There was a flash of red light, and a black blur came at Kenny and Karen. There was a scream as Karen let go of him. Kenny saw a black mass of fur burying it's claws into her shoulders. Karen howled with anguish as she tried to shake the cat off.

"Get off Damien!" Kenny shouted as the cat dislodged himself from her and landed on the ground. He changed back into the Demon and all three of them were silent for a time.

"Go on, take his side. I dare you." Karen hissed looking right at Damien. "I fucking dare you."

"Karen, while I do not disagree with your anger, I do not agree with the way you are handling it." Damien said bitterly.

"This is your fault too, you know." She blurted. "It's only because you'd rip me up like tissue paper that I'm not on you as well." She explained.

"Karen, can you please explain to me what's going on?" Damien asked. "And why are you half naked?" he asked. "Karen!" he shouted as he saw her for the first time. "Where the hell did all this come from?" he asked.

"She has every right to be mad at me." Kenny said as he sat up. He nearly threw up as he became extremely dizzy. "I haven't been watching out for her as much." He explained.

"You know what the worst part is?" she whispered. "This is your last year in high school. You graduate this year, Kenny. And you ditched me." She whispered.

"Oh, Karen." Kenny gasped. "I'm sorry!" he whispered softly.

"Me too." She said bitterly. "I'm sorry you're my brother. I'm sorry I feel the way I do about you." She whispered as she started to cry. "I hope you're happy with Damien." She said as she turned around and left.

"Don't!" Damien said as he stopped Kenny from trying to chase after her. "I'll handle it." He explained.

Kenny laid back down and closed his eyes. He was out before he could even think about what had just happened.

When he woke the next time, Karen and Damien were sitting in the bean bag chair looking up at him. Karen was docile now, but Kenny didn't forget how she had almost killed him not so long ago. Damien was holding his guitar in his hands and Karen was crying. She was absolutely a disaster. Damien nudged her.

"He's awake." He whispered.

"Great. I'm going to be busted." She muttered as more tears filled her eyes.

"Not if you tell me what's going on." Kenny said softly as he tried to sit up.

"I can't. You'll laugh at me." She muttered. "Ruby laughed at me." She explained.

"Maybe I'm not going to laugh. Maybe I'll understand." Kenny said as he looked over at Karen and Damien.

"Trust me, you won't laugh." Damien muttered. "At her request, I read her mind, and …, trust me. You need to know this." He suggested.

"Tell me what happened." Kenny begged as he sat beside Karen and Damien in the bean bag chair. Damien placed Karen in Kenny's arms, and went to sit on the bed where he started playing his guitar.

"Hey! Ever since you went away! It's like you got a new upgrade. You just went and walked away, way, way. Now, I see you've been hanging out, with some other boy in town. This seems to really bring me down, down, down. Remember all the things you said we would do. Now he's doing them with you. The way you used to treat me before this dude. You got me got me all pissed." She was crying again as she tried to sing. But Kenny could see all the feeling in her eyes. "Now you're leaving me cuz you will graduate. It's as if now I'm second rate. This demon's taken everything, it's him I hate. He's got me got me all pissed." She finally composed herself enough to sing correctly. This turned into a more powerful song as she composed herself.

"Oh, I can say anything I want. It don't mean a thing because I can't have you, please come back. I want you back." She was too busy crying, so Kenny cut in with his own verse.

"I thought for sure that you would be fine. But now I feel sick, knowing you're here crying. It's way too bad. Yeah, it's way too bad."

At this point, Karen stood up and stared Kenny straight in his eyes as she sang. She was clutching her heart with her left hand as she grabbed a lock of his hair from where he sat. He winced as she tugged on it.

"Please!" she cried out as she pulled Kenny's hair making him look up at her. "Rid me of the jealousy. I know you don't belong with me. I wish you could set me free, free, free."

Kenny gasped out as he felt more pain as she increased her tug on his hair. "Please!" he sang. "You clearly didn't think it through! I'll do anything for you! Right now please tell me what to do, do, do."

Karen twisted his hair making him look right back into her eyes again as she sang.

"Remember all the things you said we would do! Now he's doing them with you! The way you used to love me before this dude! Whose got me got me all pissed. And now the day will come when you will graduate. And now I'm all alone. That's great. You'll leave me and I'll be here by myself. That's fate. You've got me got me all pissed." She pulled on his hair so hard he let out a yelp as he stood up to stand next to her. She kept on singing.

"Oh! I can say anything I want. It don't mean a thing, because I can't have you. I want you back. Please. I want us back."

Kenny cut in again. "I left you here thinking you'd be fine! But now I feel so hurt looking at you crying, I'll bring us back. Oh, I want us back.!" He wrapped her up in his arms as he looked into her eyes. "Oooo. I thought that you'd be fine when I told you goodbye."

"Oooooo!" Karen cut in. "you might be with him, but it's family first. And boy I can say anything I want. It don't mean a thing, because I can't have you. I want you back. Oh, I need…, you…, back."

"I left you here thinking you were fine. Now I'll bring us back. I'll bring…, us…, back." He whispered softly as he kissed her cheek.

Damien smiled as he winked at Karen and Kenny. He disappeared before any of them could say anything.

"I'm sorry, Kare Bare." He whispered as he kissed her neck gently. "I want you to tell me everything." He said as he helped her put her top back on. "I promise we'll sort it out." He said as she wiped away streaming tears.


	48. RedRedWine (UB40)

**Wasting Time**

Kenny walked into Cartman's house for the fifth time that week. It was a Saturday. Damien and Kevin were hanging out with Karen. It was part of a deal they all struck up. She loved Damien to death, and Kevin wasn't half bad himself. So when Kenny was unable to be with her, Karen was surrounded by either/or both the other boys. Kenny felt a sadness at remembering what he had seen the other day. But it was all over now. She was happier, and she wasn't being bullied. He was now on to his next task. Helping Cartman fatass graduate.

"Hello, Kenny dear." Mrs. Cartman said as she smiled at him. "I'm getting ready to make dinner." She announced.

"Fabulous. We'll need all the help we can get at this point." He muttered.

"Is it another all-nighter?" she asked.

"No. Thankfully, it's not." Kenny said as he smiled at her.

"I'll call when dinner's ready." She said as she watched him walk up the stairs to Eric's room.

He knocked on the door. There was a sad hollow "come in." from inside. Kenny opened it.

"I give up." Eric said dejected as he sat in the middle of his bed surrounded by a lot of papers. "I'm not going to make it, Ken. I give up. School isn't for me." He moaned.

"Oh, stop it. You just need to sleep and recover from all the strain." Kenny said as he helped his friend straighten out. "We're all here, remember? Everything will be fine." He said as he stacked all the pages neatly in a pile. "What did you do with Kyle? He was the last one to be helping you." Kenny wondered.

Eric went over all the stuff the two of them had done. Kenny saw that a lot of the stuff was crossed out on Eric's chart. The paper was littered with different styles of hand writing as all of them had taken to writing on it. Kenny sighed. They still had a long way to go, and a short time to do it in. All assignments were to be turned in by next Tuesday, and graduation was scheduled for next Thursday in the football field. They could do it though.

Cartman was the meanest jerk there ever was. But he was part of the clique, and no one got left behind in the gang. Ever. No matter how mean. And Cartman was the embodiment of evil. He made Damien's father look like an angel wrongfully placed in Hell. They all agreed, though. So, Cartman was graduating if it killed them.

"What do you wanna work on next?" Kenny asked.

"I want to go to sleep." Cartman whined. "After I get some sleep, I will work on some other thing." He moaned.

"Cartman, I know what you can do for me." Kenny said as he looked through what wasn't done. "One of the writing assignments is to explain what you learned in reading _the shining_. What did you get out of it?" Kenny asked.

"The guy who wrote it was crazy." Cartman muttered.

"Okay…, what about the next book on the list? You read _Pride and Prejudice_?" Kenny asked.

"No."

"_Sense and Sensibility_?" Kenny asked becoming very irritated.

"Nah."

"What did you read?" Kenny asked.

"I don't even remember." Eric admitted.

Kenny face palmed. "I don't believe this." He muttered.

"Why does everyone do that?" Cartman asked confused.

"Because it's very hard to work with you." Kenny said bitterly. "Did you read any of the books on this list?" he asked.

"_A Cab Called Reliable_." Cartman said bitterly. "And _night_." He added smiling.

"Of course you did." Kenny said unsurprised. "Can you write a three and a half page paper on what you thought of the book?" he asked. "I promise, if you do that one assignment for me, I'll give you some…," He thought for a moment. They had all used some kind of food to motivate him into doing his homework. But he was running out of things to motivate the boy with. It was like working with a ten year old.

"Mommy'll give you some nice steak with mashed potatoes if you do the work, poopsy." Said a voice. Kenny could've kissed Leanne at that point.

"Fine." Cartman said as he got his laptop ready to go. "When I'm done, will you look it over?" he asked.

Cartman sat there for a whole five minutes not doing anything. Kenny was starting to get very angry with the boy. He didn't know what to do.

"Cartman!" he shouted as he caught the youth playing games on his laptop.

"I'm goin' I'm goin'." He muttered.

Kenny sighed as he started singing. "Wasting time! Soon I'll be dead! You take too long to do…, one single task." He sang sighing. "Wasting time! It's up to you! All I can do I've done! Just so you know. Just so you know." He said as he started beat boxing. He started with the next part of the song. "You'll do fine. If you try. Try to be calm instead. If you're wrong, do it right. But make sure you don't forget! Don't waste time. Just take it slow. Know that you're not alone. Quit tearing apart…, your blue heart." He started beat boxing again. He saw Cartman smiling out of the corner of his eye.

"Stop that trashy beat boxing." He ordered. "Or go away."

"If I go away, who's going to help you with your homework?" Kenny asked softly.

"Fine. I'll do the paper." Cartman moaned as he actually opened up Microsoft word and started typing.

"It has to be APA." Kenny said.

Cartman shrieked at the top of his lungs.

"Forget I said anything." Kenny said as he put a calming hand on Cartman's shoulder. "I'll take care of the formatting, you just do the typing." He cooed.

Before they knew it, Cartman had actually gotten his two writing assignments done, and they had made real progress. It was actually nice. Cartman was on his way to graduating.


	49. SomeBodyThatIUsedToKnow(Gotye)

**The Principal I Used To Know**

Kenny was busy in his room trying on his cap and gown. He didn't know if he was going to make it. He was as nervous as he'd ever been. He rubbed his hands as he looked himself in the mirror. The door opened and in came Damien, Karen and Kevin. All three of them stared at Kenny as he spun around to show off his clothing.

"Looking good, bro." Karen said smiling.

"I ain't feelin' good." Kenny said clutching his stomach.

"I'm sorry." Damien said as he stared at Kenny's clock. "Hey, I know you're not feeling very good, but I'm going to be late for an appointment. I'll see you tomorrow." He said as he hugged Kenny.

"Okay." Kenny said as he wiped sweat from the back of his neck.

"You'll be fine." Damien said as he disappeared.

"I'm never going to get used to that." Kevin said as he stared at the spot Damien just vacated.

"Me neither." Karen muttered.

"Get your shit together, Karen. I'll give you a ride to school." Kevin said as he left the room.

"Can I come?" Kenny asked.

"Why?" Kevin and Karen asked, surprise showing in their voices.

"I wanna talk to the principal." He explained.

"Change out of that…," Kevin said gesturing to the cap and gown. "and you can go with us." He bargained.

"Okay." Kenny said as he watched them leave.

They had done all they could. The rest was up to fate. If Cartman graduated, they would all be relieved. If not…, well, they tried. That's the reason Kenny was going to talk to the principal.

When they all got there, Karen went to her class, and Kevin waited for Kenny outside as he left to go take care of business.

"Hello, Kenny." Said one of the secretaries as he went into the office. "here to see Mr. Langor?" she asked.

"If he's available." Kenny said as he stared at his watch.

"I'll ring him and ask." She said as she picked up her phone.

"Yes, hello. Mr. Kenny McCormick is here to see you." She explained.

"He said go right on in." she said hanging up the phone.

Kenny smiled at her, and left the reception area into the back where the principal was stationed. He knocked on the door.

"Come in, Kenny." He said as the door swung open.

"What's up?" Kenny asked closing the door behind him.

"I want you to tell me what's up." The man said bitterly. "You're not supposed to be here today. Did you get into trouble?" he asked.

"No, I came to talk to you about something pressing." Kenny said as he looked around. "I love what you've done with the place." He explained.

"Kenny you've been in here dozens of times." The man said bitterly. "Sit down and tell me what it is you want."

"I wanted to talk to you about Eric." He said as he sat down. "He will be graduating…, right?" he asked.

"At this point, it's hard to tell. The teachers aren't just there to teach seniors. They have other classes throughout the day. Cartman showed up yesterday morning with dozens of assignments for the classes he was behind on…, which was nearly all of them. Kenny, I don't know if he's going to be able to get himself out of trouble this time." The man said gravely.

"His mom is expecting him to graduate." Kenny said sadly.

"I'm expecting him to graduate!" the man said bitterly. "Do you think I want to deal with another year with this kid?" he asked. "He's racist, sexist, and every other –ist there is." The man said bitterly. "You, Stan and Kyle matured tremendously from Freshman year. This boy just keeps getting worse." He explained. "Trust me. I want him out of here. But it's not up to me." He added hastily.

"When will we know?" Kenny asked.

"Truth is kid, we won't know until the end of the day tomorrow." He said softly. "If the instructors finish grading all his work, he goes on to graduate. If not, he's screwed." The man said bitterly.

"Well, we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed." Kenny said sadly.

"I hope he makes it." The man said bitterly. "Was that all you needed? Or did you actually get in trouble?" he asked.

"No. That was pretty much it." Kenny said sadly. "However, I still need to talk to you about a pressing matter." He explained.

"What?" the man asked as he looked at Kenny expectantly.

"Can we bring beach balls to the rehearsal?" Kenny asked. "I wasn't able to afford a year book, but I have a ball. I'd like my friends to be able to sign it. I'm a very popular guy." He explained.

"No! Absolutely not, n-o." the principal said as he stood up. "No beach balls, no air horns, no silly string. As a matter of fact, during graduation you will be searched. Thank your brother for that." He added as Kenny opened his mouth.

"but what kind of fun is a graduation without an air horn?" Kenny moaned.

"A really nice one. Where people aren't getting their ears blown off." He said bitterly.

Kenny sighed. "You play guitar?" he asked as he saw the instrument behind the principal's desk.

"I'm known to play here and there—what does that have to do with anything?!" he shouted suddenly. "Get out of here if all you're going to do is whine about the lack of air horns and silly string!" he shouted.

"chip in for a year book for me, and I won't cause trouble." Kenny suggested. "May I see?" he asked as he looked at the dude's guitar.

"No! I'm practicing for a competition at a bar." He shot bitterly. "I can only play one song, but it's actually coming along well." He said smiling.

"Play for me." Kenny requested.

"You really want to hear me play?" the man asked getting serious ego stroking.

"Yes. Let's hear what you got." Kenny said as the man grabbed his guitar.

He started playing. Kenny was surprised. This song was very annoying and catchy, and not for his age group. Kenny drew breath as he started singing.

"Now and then I think of when I first arrived here." Kenny sang. "Like when I met you I was so ready to die. Told myself that this was right for me. I felt so angry when you'd talk to me. You sucked the fun out of each year, I still remember." Kenny stood up and started pretending to air guitar. "You didn't have to play so low! Try to suck all the fun out of everything we all did. You said you didn't need that, though. What happened to the principal I used to know? You used to be so lax with rules! Now it's like someone has sucked the fun out of your life, bro. I guess that means that no means no. I wish I had the principal I used to know." He sighed as the man kept playing. He looked like he was taking a dump. His face was very screwed up with concentration. Kenny continued his song. "You can get addicted to a certain kind of treatment. Like when I did something and you, would just let it slide. Now I feel like you just don't make no sense. Your lack of fun is making me so tense. But I'll admit that I'm just glad it's almost over." Kenny pretended to wave to an audience member. "You didn't have to say no fun! Make it like you've never been to a same day rehearsal! And I don't even need the stuff. But your ban on silly string just makes me feel so rough. You could've just said yes, to it! Just say I can bring the items and then soon it's over! I guess that I don't need that though. What happened to the principal I used to know."

Mr. Langor cleared his throat as he continued playing. He fixed his posture a little, and started to sing when the guitar solo was over. "Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over. Like the time you put all of the stink bomb pellets in the hall. Graduation's such a special day. So read into every word I say. So Kenny please just let it go. Don't let me catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know!"

Kenny took up the chorus. "Oh, you just don't need to stoop so low!" he sang. "Can't you just allow some air horns and then maybe silly string. It's not that I would need that stuff. But you act like we're in danger and I feel so rough. I wish you just wouldn't stoop so low! It's the last day I'll be part of a school body, Hector. You think that I don't need that though. What happened to the principal I used to know?"

"Hey! How did you know my first name?" the man groaned.

"It says it on your name tag, genius." Kenny said as the guy put down his guitar.

"I'll be watching you tomorrow, Kenny." Said the principal as he opened the door to let Kenny out. "No silly string, beach balls, or air horn at the graduation, or rehearsals!" he shouted as Kenny left.

"You're so boring." Kenny spat.

"You're so childish!" Langor spat back as the door closed behind Kenny.


	50. Here's To Us (Halestorm)

**Here's to us: Graduation Day**

Kenny awoke the next day to find something warm and alive pressing into him. He looked down, and saw Karen lying there, sleeping. He hadn't even remembered when she came in from the visit to Ruby's. He smiled as he looked at her. He wished he had her life right about now. He wished he was back at the end of Freshman year. But now he was graduating. He was about to embark on a journey. He felt a lump rise in his throat, and swallowed. He felt nervous, sick, sad, happy, scared. He wondered how someone could feel all these emotions at once. He sighed as he tried to extract himself from Karen without waking her up. There was a sleeping black cat curled up on the bean bag chair. Damien was here. Kenny smiled at him. He felt a little bit better.

Damien had been a constant part of Kenny's life since he was eight and died the very first time. He thought he was a goner for sure. When he came back to Earth the next day, and no one remembered, he figured he was just going crazy and everything was fine. Damien told him that there was something wrong with him. That there was a curse. Ever since then, Kenny died all the time. The deaths decreased as he got older, but they also took longer. Each time he was cast away to Hell, he would find himself spending longer and longer periods of time there. He didn't know what to make of it. But one thing's always remained the same. Damien was there. To make him cry, laugh, choke on his spit with laughter, and much more. He made Kenny question himself at times. Whether he was doing the right thing. Sophomore year brought with it the start of a true friendship with the Demon. Soon, the relationship escalated and they became more than that. But what exactly were they? Was Kenny gay? Was Damien gay? Did it matter that Damien could turn into the most attractive girl in all of South Park? Did it matter how they made love? Did it count that Kenny and Damien couldn't conceive even if they wanted to? Kenny wondered as he looked at his glow in the dark clock. It was a gift from Stan for his eleventh birthday. It was six in the morning. Today was going to be a big day.

"You okay, Kenny?" Karen asked softly.

"Yeah. Just nervous, is all." Kenny said as he pulled the blankets off of himself. He stepped down onto the floor and stepped on a furry object. There was a loud meowing that sounded like Kenny had stepped on something valuable. "Sorry, buddy." He said as he picked up the kitty. "Did I step on your leg?" he cooed as he held the black cat in his arms. "Sorry." He said as the cat kicked off with his back legs and went to settle on Kenny's pillow. He placed his head on his paws and closed his eyes.

"My last day of school is next week." Karen said grimly. "It's gonna suck without you there." She muttered.

"Hey, I'm not going away to college. So it's okay." Kenny said as he started getting his things together for a shower.

"I guess." Karen muttered. "I'm glad you're graduating, Kenny." She said softly. "I'm very proud of you."

"I'm glad you're not on drugs, Karen." Kenny said softly. "I'm very proud of you."

"Yeah. I got framed." She said grinning. "I'm glad no one looked through my backpack." She muttered.

"What time is the ceremony?" she asked.

"At seven PM." Kenny said bitterly. "Rehearsal starts at ten this morning." He explained.

"what in the hell could possibly need rehearsing?" Karen asked bitterly. "Some people speak, some awards are given out, some names are called. Bongo. You have a graduation. It's not like it's a wedding or anything." She muttered.

"It's bingo." Kenny corrected. "I guess it's a rehearsal for the principal and the assistant principal to get everyone's names right." He explained. "Also it gives us time to get in line and figure out our places." He said smiling.

"Who's your walking buddy?" she asked.

"Eric." Kenny said without hesitation. "Stan and Wendy, and Kyle and Rebecca, and…, well you'll see." He said bitterly.

"Why did you choose fatass?" she asked bitterly.

"Because, as terrifying as he is, I pity him on some level. I know that if he needs one thing in the world besides food and a competent mother, it's a friend. So, I guess I took that spot." He said as he grabbed his razor.

"Kenny the saint." Karen spat bitterly. "Always trying to make everyone's lives nice and neat." She said as she watched him.

"I don't know why, but that's been a trait of mine since I was little." He said sadly.

"Yeah. To make up for the shit hole you got dealt with." Karen suggested.

"Maybe. Well, gotta go take my shower." He said as he leaned down and ruffled her hair. "I'll BRB." He said as he left.

Karen was a lot happier than that day. She could deal with Kenny's graduation. She was going to be okay. Damien Kenny and Kevin would watch out for her. She wasn't alone.

Kenny came back thirty minutes later looking nice and clean. He had a towel around his waist and was holding his stuff in his hands. Karen was in the middle of getting dressed when he came in.

"How's your neck?" he asked as he looked at all the fading bruises on her body.

"Fine. I'm sorry I went all psycho on you the other day." She said smiling.

"I don't care. It's all right. I know why you did it." He said as he put his stuff down and let his towel fall.

Karen and Kenny got ready in silence as Damien lay on the pillows sleeping. When Karen was ready to go, the pair of them went to eat breakfast. There was a crock pot with oatmeal in it. Kenny wondered if it was Damien's doing, or his mom's.

The moments passed by in a blur. Before he knew it, he was done with his oatmeal, Karen was being driven to school, and Cartman was at his door nervous as all hell. He still didn't know if he would be graduating or not. He wouldn't know, until four forty-five this afternoon. That gave the people in the registrar's office time to update the records. He still had to attend rehearsals just in case.

"It'll be okay, Eric." Kenny said as he pulled his piece of paper out with the check list on it. "We don't have to wear our caps and gowns. Great. I'm glad of that."

Soon, the pair of them were walking down to Kyle's car, where his dad was waiting to take them all to the football field. Nine forty five arrived, and Kenny was milling around with the other kids waiting for instruction. Some boys brought a beach ball, (Kenny included.), and the balls were being passed around for student signatures right now. At least there was no silly string. Kenny hadn't brought any, anyway.

"You all right, McCormick?" asked the principal as he walked by.

"Yep." Kenny said as he tried to relax. There was so much on his mind right now.

"Quiet!" the principal said into the mic as he stood on the makeshift stage. "Now, we're going to write down your name on an index card, just as you would want it called at the ceremony." He instructed. "Then, after you hand the cards to me, I'll ask you all to get into rows of ten. I want you to choose carefully!" he said loudly as there was complaints. "I get complaints all the time from parents when their kid ends up in the back. Guess what, I don't choose your seats. You do. You also choose the order in which I call your name. So please get with your walking partners, and choose where it is you'll be sitting. And don't forget to give me your name cards." He commanded.

The next few hours were spent trying to figure out where every kid's place in line was. They all got in line, and the staff ran through name calling twice. For name calling and diploma taking, it sure was a lot of work. The two run throughs took from ten in the morning to two in the afternoon. They were let out at two thirty as crews came in to set up for the audience. Dana was waiting for him as he left the crowd of kids. Cartman had his beach ball and was signing it.

"Ready to go?" Dana asked in a sad pixie voice.

"Yeah." Kenny said as he took her hand in his. "I love you, D." he said as he leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips.

She didn't let on, but Kenny could tell she was swooning inside. It had been a long time since Dana had come around, and it had been a while since Kenny showed Damien any affection at all. He figured he might as well.

"Wanna go for a walk?" she asked. "I kind of need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, sweet heart." Kenny said as they walked off.

"I'll drop your ball off at your house!" Eric shouted from a distance as he saw who Kenny was with.

"Thanks!" Kenny said as he walked off. "See you soon!"

"Don't get too caught up. In the love making, you two!" shouted Wendy.

Kenny had gotten so lost and confused as to how many people actually knew who Dana was. Or what she was. He couldn't remember who knew, or who cared. It was a very interesting relationship, to say the least.

He and Dana ended up in a wooded area that was completely deserted. Dana was pensive, and Kenny was quiet waiting for her to talk.

She was very pretty today, in a red dress with crinoline that made it stick out in every direction. There were silver beads sprinkled all over her bosom, and it was held up by straps. The dress pushed her D cup breasts up enough to give her very large amount of cleavage. She also wore pointed high heeled shoes. She looked amazing. Her lips had a glisten of red lipstick on them. She presented herself like a princess and not at all like a whore. Kenny liked that about her. She led them to a log.

Kenny took off his jacket, and set it down on the log smoothing it out. He helped her sit down, and sat beside her.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked.

"Us." Dana said softly. "I've been talking with my dad, and he said that he would be willing to make this arrangement permanent if I wanted him to. He wants to make a permanent human out of me, and we could be boyfriend and girlfriend, and everything. This way, I won't have to use you as a hold for me while I spend my time on Earth." She explained.

"But all your powers will vanish." Kenny predicted.

"That is the catch, yes." Dana said sadly.

"You'd do that just to be with me?" he asked.

"Uh huh. I'm either really crazy, I've got nothing to lose, or I really came to understand what love was, and…, maybe as a result…, I love you." She whispered.

"I love you, Damien." Kenny said softly. "If you were to actually take your father seriously, I'd appreciate it if you retained your teenager male self. I don't know whether that makes me gay, or not. I just don't want to have to hide who you really are behind the mask of a sexy girl." He explained.

"So, you'd like me to be Damien?" she asked.

"Yes." He said softly. "I love who you are as Dana, but Damien is so much better. You just seem to make me happier when you're in your true persona." Kenny said softly.

"Oh." Dana said as a blush crept up her face.

"I hope you're not mad at me." Kenny offered.

"No. I'm flattered." Dana said softly as she shifted in her chair. Kenny could hear all the bangles on her arms clinging as she moved.

"D, I don't care about you having to be here with me through the anchor of my soul. I love that you can be here with me. I want you to be who you are. I don't want you to lose your powers for me at all." Kenny said softly. "Your father would've warned you if this was dangerous. He knows everything there is to know about the realms of hell and earth. I'll be fine. You don't have to ground yourself to a human body just to be with me." He explained.

"I just don't want to hurt you." Dana said as she took his hand in hers and squeezed it.

"You won't. Just have a little faith." Kenny said softly. "Just know that everything will be okay."

"I love you, Kenny." She whispered.

"I love you, Damien." He said softly.

As he said that, Dana's hand melted into a rough slender hand, and she became Damien right before Kenny's eyes. He smiled as he reached out and hugged Damien tightly. At that moment, he realized he had nothing to be nervous about. He was going to graduate, and things were going to be all right.

"I'm glad I found you, Damien." Kenny whispered. "You make dying all the time that much easier."

"You make hell all that much easier, Kenny." Damien whispered. "I love you."

The time flew by between the rehearsal and the actual graduation. Before Kenny knew it, his whole family was going out to dinner at City Wok. He was opening the gift Kevin had gotten him. It was a set of keys to his own car. He no longer had to share.

"I promise, when you get a driver's license, you can borrow it." Kenny said as he hugged Karen.

His next gift was from Karen. It was a piggy bank in the shape of her. He was astounded at the detail. The coins went in in a slot at the top of her head, and there was no opening to get the money out.

"Karen, how am I supposed to retrieve my coins?" Kenny asked.

"Damien!" she said gleefully. "Besides, you're terrible at saving money, I'm sure you won't need to open it in this life time." She said laughing.

"Fuck you, lil' girl." Kenny muttered.

The next gift was from Damien. Kenny took the parcel in his hands, and wondered what it was going to be. He opened it, and dug inside. He gasped. It was a suit.

"I needed this for the dinner we're at you moron!" he shouted.

"Whah, thank yuh, Daymyun, fer bein' so nahs to me, even though Ah don't deserve it." Kenny's mother said as she slapped Kenny across the chest.

"Thank you, Damien." Kenny said blushing. "But I really could've used this for the dinner."

"Can it." They all said laughing.

Before he knew it, he was getting the text message he longed to get. Cartman had messaged him to say that he was graduating with his class. Kenny was so happy, and knew Leanne must be happy as well.

This was it. Graduation time. He was being driven to the football field, and before he knew it, the students were queued up ready for the entrance. Kenny found himself crying as he stood there, behind Cartman. Soon, **Pomp and Circumstance** was playing from the high school band. Ike was on drums, and Kenny waved to him. The song played for eight minutes as the whole class marched in, and took their places. When they were all standing in the proper spots, the song ended.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Principal Langor said as he bowed a little. "This year's class of twenty-twelve." He said as everyone burst into applause. "You may be seated." He instructed.

Kenny was too busy crying as he sat there, he didn't notice the principal trying to get his attention. He smiled at Hector, and calmed down enough to see what he was saying.

"Kenny, it's your turn to go up there and speak." Langor said softly.

Kenny had tried out for graduation speaker. The valedictorian, who was not surprisingly Kyle Broflovski, had just finished speaking. Now it was Kenny's turn. He gathered all his wits about him, hugged Cartman, and walked to the raised platform to stand with the Principal.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Kenny said into the mic. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to say. I had my speech written down, and read it over a bunch of times." He felt tears start running down his face. "It never came out quite right."

"We love you, Kenny!" he heard a girl shouting from the audience.

"So, instead, I want to sing you guys a song."

The audience collectively groaned and laughed. They had all heard Kenny's songs throughout the year, and knew that this was probably going to be hilarious, or corny, or just plain awful. But the next things that took place, they weren't expecting.

"I gave the band sheet music to play along." He said smiling.

There was three sharp taps, and the band started. Damien's guitar was heard distinctively from the rest of the instruments.

"We could just go home right now. Or maybe we could stick around, for just one more cheer. We've all just been so strung out, let's shoot the shit, sit back down. For just one more cheer, oh yeah."

The band turned up their music, and the drums and bass started. Kenny started singing as he spilled his emotions on stage.

"Here's to us! Here's to love! All the times that we fucked up. We got through, our whole class. Yeah, the last four years have kicked my ass. Now we'll give 'em hell! Wish everybody well. Here's to us!"

The whole class was standing up now, clapping to the beat of the song. Kenny was still tearful as he sang the next verse. "Stuck it out this far together. Put our friendships through the shredder. Let's cheer, cuz things got better. For us things seem to change like that. (He snapped his fingers.) And all the years went by so fast. Cuz…, nothing lasts…,forever."

The whole class sang this time in one giant chorus. "Here's to us. Here's to love. Every time that we fucked up! Here's to all…, of our class. Cuz the last four years have kicked our ass. If they give us hell! Well, they can go fuck themselves! Here's to us!"

The whole field of people was standing. Parents and students alike. Kenny felt all that emotion as he sang into the mic, and before he knew it, the students were all teary eyed themselves. The field went quiet as Kenny started singing again. The band was backing him up perfectly.

"Here's to all those we kissed! And to all those we dissed! To the biggest mistakes, that we just had to make! To us breaking up, without bonds breaking down! TO whatever's comin' our way!" There was a huge drum roll. "Here's to us! Here's to love! All the times that we fucked up! Here's to you, my whole class. Oh the last four years have kicked my ass! So let's give some cheers, and let's not forget the tears! Here's to us!"

The rest of the class finished up the song with Kenny with the chorus repeating a few more times. When he was done, Mr. Langor and the assistant principal hugged him. Both of them were crying.

"I thought you were going to make a fool of yourself, McCormick." Langor said as he let go of him. "Thanks for everything." He added as he shook his hand.

"No." Kenny said smiling. "Thank you."

When the place settled down, and was quiet again, the principal took up the mic.

"I would now like all of the first row to stand. I will begin calling names, the students will come up and receive there diplomas, and head quietly back to their seats. Parents, friends, whatever. I would please like to ask you to hold your applause until the very end. We don't want to miss anyone's names." He explained. "And so, here we go. Wendy Testaburger."

The students went up there one by one. Half way through, the assistant principal took the mic, and started calling off names. Kenny turned around and hugged Eric quietly. He could smell the unfamiliar scent of cologne. He wondered when the youth had started wearing it. He didn't ask.

"Kyle Broflovski." There was whistling and an air horn from somewhere off. There was also a we love you Kyle from what Kenny assumed to be Ike.

Now it was Eric's turn to cry. He was crying very hard. Much harder than Kenny had been earlier. Kenny grabbed him by the arm and dragged him up to the raised platform as the assistant principal called their names.

"Kenny McCormick." She said as he made it up there. There was an air horn, and a couple whistles. "Eric Cartman." The lady said as Langor handed his diploma to Kenny. Eric was next.

Kenny and Eric made it back to their seats. "Would the class of two thousand twelve please rise." Principal Langor was standing at the Mic once again. "You may now flip the tassels to the other side of your mortar boards." He explained. "Congratulations! Let's give it up!" he shouted as the whole place burst into applause.

While the rest of the class threw their caps up in the air, Cartman just held his, and sobbed. Kenny was about to do the ritualistic throw, when there was a hand on his shoulder. It was Millie.

"I know I didn't really talk much to you, Kenny." She said as she held his arm. "But I really always liked you, and never had the guts to ask you out. Jason and I are doing well, but I thought I'd ask. Can I have your cap?" she asked.

"Take it." He said as he took Millie's cap and tassel.

"Thank you." She said as she hugged him.

Cartman walked over to where Kyle stood with his family. They were all hugging him. He waited.

"Hey, Cartman." Kyle said as he turned around to see him standing there.

"I wanted to say, Kal, that I really appreciate your effort to help me graduate. And study for the last four years. And middle school. And elementary—"

"—Okay, I get it." Kyle said as he took Cartman's cap. He pushed his cap into Cartman's hands, and they hugged. "You're welcome. Don't make yourself a stranger at NYU, fatass." He said as he held him close.

"Don't make yourself a stranger at Boulder University, you stupid Jew." Cartman said as he hugged Kyle back.

There were a lot more people who traded caps. But it would take too long to tell it all here. It was a sea of graduates, tears, and families trying to find their kin. Over all, it took probably another hour and a half for all the attendees to clear out. Before they all knew it, they were going their different ways. Some to start new lives off in colleges out of state, others to start life in colleges here, and still others to go abroad. But they all had one thing in common. They were going to a dozen senior parties that had their names on them.

Throughout the whole entire time, even though the school was a combination of South Park, Middle Park, North Park, and West Park kids, every county seemed to stick to themselves. So South Park just held a party for their seniors at City Wok, and the other counties just did whatever it is they did. Everyone was up past five AM that night. But it was very much a nice celebration.

"I had fun." Karen said as she snuggled close to Kenny on the bed that morning. They were all getting ready to go to sleep. "You'll never believe what happened to me?" she asked.

"You got a pimple?" Kenny asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"No. Isaac Brovlovski asked me, Karen McCormick out." She said happily. "I said yes. I knew you wouldn't mind."

"Way to go little sister." Kenny said as his heart filled with pride. "Ike is a good kid, and I always figured you would end up with him." He said smiling. "I'll have to have a talk with him, of course." He added seriously.

"I know." Karen said as she closed her eyes. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

The familiar black cat ended up sleeping with Kevin on the couch that night. And for pretty much every night after that. Karen and Kevin were aware of the situation, and Kenny made his mom aware as well. Since she was more aware of what Kenny's curse did to her when they went to that cult meeting, she wasn't shocked when she found out who Damien was. She wondered about Dana, and Damien showed her his morphing ability. She said as long as Stu didn't find out Kenny was actually gay, they would all be fine. And that's how it all went.

"I'm glad you're with me, Kenny." Damien said one night after they had finished making love.

"I'm glad I'm with you, too, Damien." Kenny said as he closed his eyes.


End file.
